Boomer Banter, Caregiving, Purpose, Connection

Season 7: Episode 175

In this heartwarming and insightful episode of Hey, Boomer!, host Wendy Green is joined by Rob Schwartz, the son of Morrie Schwartz, to unpack the emotional journey of caregiving for an ailing father. This conversation takes us through the mountains of challenges and valleys of tender moments that come with caring for a family member in their final months. From discussing the practical aspects of daily care assistance to the philosophies that define our connections beyond life, Wendy and Rob delve into stories and experiences that many of us will find both relatable and inspiring.

Listen in as Wendy Green and Rob Schwartz share their deeply personal experiences and offer hope, understanding, and advice to those walking the path of a caregiver. Join us for a conversation that is sure to resonate with many, filled with memories, warmth, and the wisdom passed down from fathers to children.

**Candid Talk on Caregiving:** Rob Schwartz opens up about the balance between his full-time job overseas and the demands of caring for his father diagnosed with ALS, touching on the critical role of caretakers in managing daily tasks.

**Spiritual Connections:** Rob shares a poignant story that captures his father's views on spirituality, which highlights the importance of feeling part of a greater whole, followed by Wendy's own symbolic connection with her father through the appearance of rainbows.

**Life Lessons and Legacies:** As they reflect on deep conversations with their fathers, Wendy and Rob explore the impact of those moments on their understanding of life and death.

**Dreams and Memories:** Rob sheds light on the connection he experienced with his father through vivid dreams, for the first 5-6 years after his father's death. Wendy shares how she also found connection with her father in dreams.

1. Open-hearted Communication: The journey of caregiving is deeply enriched by open and honest conversations about life, legacy, and the realities of illness and end-of-life.

2. Maintaining Balance: Rob discusses the necessity of balancing life responsibilities with caregiving duties, emphasizing that support systems are crucial.

3. Embracing Spirituality: Sharing personal stories, both Rob and Wendy highlight the comfort that can be found in nurturing spiritual connections with our loved ones, even after they have passed.

4. Living with Loss: Through the narrative of their experiences, Wendy and Rob offer insights into coping with grief and the process of moving forward without their fathers.

**Find The Wisdom of Morrie:** Listeners are encouraged to check out Morrie Schwartz's book, "The Wisdom of Morrie." The book is available everywhere. Please leave reviews on GoodReads, Amazon or other online sellers, to share your thoughts on the life advice it offers.

Connect with Rob at https://wisdomofmorrie.com.

**Engage with Hey, Boomer!:** Email Wendy at [email protected]. Please rate and review the podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts. Check out the heyboomer website for blogs posts and upcoming shows.

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Season 7; Episode 174

In this episode we're diving deep into a question that's on the minds of many: "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" If we live long enough, we will all be solo agers. How we prepare for our later years can make all the difference.

It's not just about medical planning; it's about social engagement, maintaining robust relationships, and taking a clear-eyed look at our futures. We're here to bring some light and practical wisdom to the conversation.

Joining the podcast today is the renowned author and expert on solo aging, caregiving, and adult living, Joy Loverde. Through her work, including her books "The Complete Elder Care Planner" and "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old?" Joy has become a beacon of guidance for many grappling with these concerns.

In today's episode, we're covering everything from thoughts about legal and financial planning, to building a supportive network, and even how to have those tough conversations about the future with our friends and loved ones.

Born with an innate sense of compassion that was evident from her teenage years, Joy Loverde found her calling at the tender age of 14, when she accepted a nun's invitation from her all-girls Catholic high school to volunteer at a nursing home on Thanksgiving. The stark reality of elderly people sitting alone in the dim light of the facility struck a chord with her young mind, and this experience planted seeds of inquiry that would shape her life's work. Loverde was moved by the sight of the individuals she encountered and puzzled by the circumstances that left them isolated from their families on a holiday meant for togetherness and gratitude.

As she grew, the questions that sprang from that day—"Who are these people? What series of events led them to this situation, and where were their families on Thanksgiving?"—continued to resonate with her. These early, poignant experiences sparked a lifelong dedication to understanding and addressing the complexities of aging and eldercare. Loverde's journey began in the shadows of a somber nursing home, but it would unfold into a career filled with light, advocacy, and a quest to improve the lives of the elderly and their families.

Top 3 things to plan for:

1. How are you going to finance a longer life. Many resources in Joy's book, "Who Will Take Care of Me When I'm Old."
2. Where we live has everything to do with the quality of our life.
3. Put your wishes in writing and put them into legal documents.

Contact Joy Loverde at her website: elderindustry.com

She is also on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram

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Season 7 Episode 173

In this heartfelt and informative episode of Hey, Boomer!, we dive into a topic that touches many but is often discussed in whispers: the evolving relationship dynamics and the journey of caregivers tending to loved ones with Parkinson's disease.

Host Wendy Green welcomes the insightful Terri Pease, Ph.D., a caregiver advocate and author, who shares the intimate details of her transformative journey from a care partner to a caregiver for her husband with Parkinson's. This episode is not just a dialogue but a lifeline for those navigating the complex waters of chronic illness, laced with personal anecdotes, practical advice, and a deep understanding of the emotional and physical toll on both the caregiver and the one receiving care.

Terri Pease's story reads like an adventurous novel with an unexpected turn. After falling in love, Terri and her partner married within a year and settled into a happy and thriving companionship. Within the first year of their marriage, they made the bold decision to relocate, journeying roughly 1000 miles to the coast of Maine.

With dreams as wide as the sea, Terri and her spouse indulged in their shared passion for sailing by purchasing a modest sailboat. They eagerly anticipated the freedom and exploration that awaited them on the waters. However, her husband's Parkinson's Illness rapidly advanced, outpacing their plans and dreams, and they soon faced the heartbreaking realization that sailing and many other activities were no longer within their realm of possibilities.

Through the challenges, Terri's story is a testament to resilience, adaptability, and the enduring strength found in love and partnership.

Terri Pease opens up about her own experiences in providing care for her husband with Parkinson's, clarifying the early signs and progressing responsibilities in the caregiver relationship.

We discussed the importance of early communication and planning. Terri talked about the significance of setting realistic expectations and the impact of Parkinson's on relational dynamics.

Terri introduced the "STEALS" acronym, addressing the various life aspects – Sleep, Thinking, Elimination, Affection, Learning, and Sex & other impulse control – that Parkinson's can affect.

We discussed the importance of self-care for caregivers, underscoring the crucial role support groups play in maintaining caregiver well-being.

The episode also tackled practical considerations such as legal documents, financial planning, and the potential of exercise to slow Parkinson's progression.

• Parkinson's disease has far-reaching effects beyond the physical symptoms, impacting every facet of family life.
• Caregivers must be proactive in seeking information, planning for the future, and engaging in open communication to manage the journey ahead.
• Emotional support, specialized care, and community resources are invaluable assets for both those with Parkinson's and their caregivers.
• With knowledge, compassion, and support, it's possible to foster love and dignity within the caregiving experience.

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To contact Terri Pease: https://terripease.com

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Season 7 - Episode 172

In this episode of Hey, Boomer, host Wendy Green delves into the complex and emotional topic of family and friend estrangement. The candid discussions with experts and real-life stories shed light on the pain and potential for reconciliation in strained relationships. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on the importance of fostering connections and prioritizing friendships as they navigate the challenges of aging.

Host Wendy Green reflects on the profound insights gained from the show's series on family and friend estrangement and reconciliation. Drawing from conversations with guests like Dr. Joshua Coleman, Dr. Janet Steinkamp, Fern Schumer Chapman, and Margie Zabel Fisher, Wendy offers a comprehensive overview of the key takeaways.

The episode features discussions with Dr. Coleman and Dr. Steinkamp, who emphasize the importance of understanding and respecting adult children's decisions to establish boundaries or choose estrangement for their mental health and self-care. Wendy highlights the pain experienced by both sides of the estrangement and the potential for reconciliation, stressing the need for parents to take responsibility for their behaviors and embrace new ways of relating.

Notably, author Fern Schumer Chapman shares a personal journey of reconciliation after a 40-year estrangement with her brother, illuminating the ripple effects of sibling rejection on personal identity and family relationships. Additionally, Margie Zabel Fisher provides valuable insights on friendship estrangement, underscoring the significance of nurturing friendships, navigating tough conversations, and evaluating the impact of toxic relationships.

1. Adult children may choose estrangement for mental health and self-care, emphasizing the need for parents to respect and understand these decisions.

2. Reconciliation requires parents to take responsibility for their behaviors and be open to learning new ways of relating.

3. Evaluating the toxicity of relationships is crucial before pursuing reconciliation, as highlighted by the experiences and insights shared by the guests.

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Connect with our previous guests mentioned here

Dr. Joshua Coleman

Dr. Janet Steinkamp

Fern Schumer Chapman

Margie Zable Fisher

Season 7 - Episode 171

In this episode of Hey, Boomer!, host Wendy Green sits down with guest Margie Zable Fisher to untangle the intricate web of friendships and their impact on our emotional and physical well-being as we age. Margie shares her unique system for nurturing and maintaining friendships, digging into the importance of intergenerational connections and the changing dynamics of friendships as families transition through life. From the joy of fostering new friendships to the complexities of navigating estranged or toxic relationships, the conversation delves deep into the significance of friendships for all ages.

Margie Zable Fisher is a writer and advocate for positive aging. She writes for AARP, Fortune Well, and Next Avenue, as well as for businesses and organizations.

Margie also created The 50-Year-Old Mermaid community, to connect with women over 50 who want to live their best lives.  

After age 50, Margie started competing in triathlons and playing pickleball.

In this episode we explore the impact of friendships on our wellbeing with the Margie Zable Fisher. Margie provides a unique perspective on the importance of maintaining friendships, the challenges of navigating difficult friendships, and the evolving role of friendships as we age. From her system for managing relationships to the value of intergenerational friendships, Margie offers valuable insights that resonate with listeners of all ages.

• The importance of maintaining friendships, especially as we age, is emphasized, highlighting the need for intentional efforts to nurture meaningful connections.
• The value of intergenerational friendships is underscored, promoting understanding and shared wisdom across different generations.
• Nurturing meaningful connections, regardless of distance, and creating a personalized system for staying in touch.
• Recognizing toxic friendships and the possibility of navigating estrangement with compassion and courage.

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Find Margie at:

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Check out Next Avenue

Season 7 Episode 170

In this episode, Wendy Green engages in a deep and meaningful conversation with Dr. Janet Steinkamp about the challenges of estranged relationships with adult children.

Wendy and Janet both share there personal experiences, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection, adapting communication styles, and nurturing trust and grace in rebuilding relationships. The discussion touches upon the emotional complexities, the stages of grief, and the impact of family dynamics on estrangement.

Dr. Janet Steinkamp is an educator, teacher-trainer, communication expert, estrangement consultant, researcher and mom.

In 2019, Dr. Steinkamp began her own journey through a family estrangement when her adult daughter decided to cut ties. Her family lost contact with her daughter for nearly two years. It took months of courageous self-reflection, sometimes painful self-accountability, determination and grace to understand how her communication and expectations contributed to her daughter’s estrangement. When asked how she got started on her journey of growth and transformation, she quickly points out that the first step was to recognize the only person she could change was herself.

The discussion focuses on the challenges of understanding and navigating estrangement, as well as the importance of self-improvement and adapting to different communication styles.

Janet introduces the DISC assessment tool as a means of understanding and improving parent-child communication, emphasizing the significance of self-reflection and investing in self-discovery.

The impact of grief on communication and the vulnerability it creates, as well as the stages of grief and their influence on parents' behavior, are explored.

The episode touches on family dynamics, research findings on estrangement, and so much more, creating a multifaceted exploration of the topic.

• Self-reflection and investing in self-discovery are pivotal to rebuilding estranged relationships
• Understanding different communication styles, such as those identified by the DISC assessment tool, can help improve parent-child communication.
• Embracing change, adapting to different communication styles, and showing grace and trust are paramount in rebuilding and maintaining relationships.

Visit whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com for resources and support services offered by Janet Steinkamp.

Email Dr. Steinkamp at [email protected]

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Season 7 Episode #169

In this episode of Hey, Boomer, host Wendy Green delves into the deeply fascinating and often turbulent world of family dynamics and historical conflicts with acclaimed author Dean King, known for his work on "The Feud, The Hatfields & McCoys, The True Story." Exploring the lessons from the infamous feud, Wendy and Dean provide a thought-provoking discussion that sheds light on the enduring relevance of history in understanding contemporary conflicts and relationships.

Guest Bio

Dean King is a well-known historian and expert on the infamous Hatfield McCoy feud. He has studied the feud extensively, and believes that it was sparked by multiple factors, including the politics of the Civil War and a love affair.

Through his research and expertise, he has shed light on the emotional and historical complexities of the feud that continues to captivate audiences.

Dean is an award-winning author of 10 non-fiction books.

Episode Overview:

Wendy and Dean delve into the intricacies of the Hatfields & McCoys feud, a conflict that spanned generations and captured the public's imagination due to its sensational nature. They highlight the complexities of family ties, political influences, and personal vendettas that fueled the rivalry, examining the root causes and pivotal moments that shaped the feud. The episode unravesl the evolution of the conflict, exploring how the feud transitioned from violent clashes to economic competition, and the enduring impact it had on the surrounding communities.

Episode Takeaways

Dean King offers invaluable insights into the legacy of the Hatfields and McCoys feud, emphasizing the lasting repercussions of bitterness and animosity if left unchecked across generations. He also underscores the importance of seeking common ground and practicing generosity in resolving conflicts, drawing essential lessons from history that resonate in today's world.

1. Understand the origins and complexities of the Hatfields & McCoys feud.

2. Recognize the influence of the feud on modern-day conflicts.

3. Explore lessons from history that can be applied to resolving current disputes.

Call to Action:

Connect with Dean King:

Website: https://deanhking.com/

Email: [email protected]

Join the conversation and share your thoughts about family feuds with us on social media using #HeyBoomerPodcast.

Join the Boomer Believers for access to one-on-one Zoom discussions with a guest. On June 30 at 6:00pm ET our guest will be Dean King.

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Season 7: Episode 168

In this episode, host Wendy Green sits down with author and sibling relationship expert, Fern Schumer Chapman, to dive into the challenges of family estrangement and the journey toward reconciliation. Together, they uncover the impact of estrangement on family dynamics, identity, and self-esteem, and share personal experiences that shed light on the complexities of rebuilding relationships with estranged siblings. This episode is a candid exploration of sibling relationships and the power of resilience in overcoming estrangement.

Guest Bio

Fern Schumer Chapman's childhood was filled with loss and trauma, as her mother, a Holocaust refugee, struggled to cope with her own past. Raised in a home where she and her brother fended for themselves, Fern's experiences shaped her understanding of family dysfunction and the impact of trauma on relationships.

Her mother's inability to model a successful relationship or navigate differences led to estrangement, a common response to family dysfunction. Fern's personal experiences have informed her work as an author and advocate, and she is committed to raising awareness and understanding of the complex issues surrounding estrangement and family dynamics.

Episode Overview:

In this episode, Wendy Green engages in a meaningful discussion with Fern Schumer Chapman, author of "Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation," as they explore the emotional complexities of sibling estrangement. Fern shares her personal journey of rebuilding a relationship with her brother after decades of estrangement and offers valuable insights into the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and familial trauma on sibling relationships. The conversation delves into the challenges, emotions, and valuable lessons learned from the process of rekindling a family bond.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Sibling estrangement is a commonly experienced yet stigmatized issue, affecting approximately 1 in 3 people, and can have a significant impact on family dynamics and individual well-being.

2. Rebuilding a relationship with a distant sibling requires patience, face-to-face communication, and a willingness to acknowledge and set aside the pain and anger of the past. This process can be challenging and time-consuming.

3. Trauma and mental illness, such as PTSD, can be common risk factors for sibling estrangement, and it's important to understand the impact of these factors on family relationships.

4. Parents can play a role in preventing sibling estrangement by avoiding favoritism, modeling conflict resolution, and negotiation skills for their children.

5. When managing a relationship with a difficult sibling, options range from complete estrangement to limited, superficial interactions, requiring careful consideration of safety and personal well-being.

Call to Action:

Connect with Fern Schumer Chapman:

- Website: https://fernschumerchapman.com

- Email: [email protected]

Join the conversation and share your thoughts about sibling estrangement with us on social media using #HeyBoomer.

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Episode #167: Season 6 Finale: Reflecting on 2023, Unveiling 2024 Plans, Crafting your Word for the Year

"Hey, Boomer!" invites you to join host Wendy Green in the Season Finale as she reflects on the best of 2023, unveils exciting changes for 2024, and shares her word for the year ahead. Wendy delves into the importance of navigating family dynamics, embracing reinvention, and exploring the transformative power of choosing a word for the year. The episode concludes with a heartwarming holiday message and an invitation for listeners to be part of the upcoming Boomer Believer group and join in upcoming events and discussions.

In the Season Finale of "Hey, Boomer!", Wendy Green celebrates the show's accomplishments in 2023. She reflects on the creatives who joined the show, Sky Bergman, Melissa Davey and Penny Peyser, for example.

There was discussion about the show on Parent/Child Estrangement and some of the lessons learned from her guest, Dr. Joshua Coleman.

Wendy reminisced about some of the authors who were guests on Hey, Boomer, and she shares some of the life lessons learned from Morrie Schwartz as detailed in the book "The Wisdom of Morrie."

She unveils the upcoming themes for 2024 including a focus on Family Dynamics and Communication in January.

Wendy also shares her word for 2024, "confidence," and discusses her areas of focus for the year ahead.

The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to engage with guests by joining the Boomer Believer group.

• Embrace reinvention and creativity at any age. It is never too late to explore new passions and talents.
• Age joyfully and with purpose.
• The transformative impact of choosing a word for the year and its role in personal growth

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Episode #166 Hear and Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss with Shari Eberts & Gael Hannan

In this episode of Hey Boomer, host Wendy Green explores the topic of living skillfully with hearing loss, shedding light on the challenges faced by individuals with hearing loss.

She shares her personal experiences with the story of her mother's hearing loss and how that impacted her interaction with her mother and her awareness of some of the challenges.

Joined by special guests Shari Ebert and Gael Hannan, they discuss their collaborative book, "Here and Beyond: Live Skillfully with Hearing Loss," offering insights, strategies, and resources for better living with hearing loss. From the impact on relationships to the use of modern technology, this episode takes a deep dive into the world of hearing loss and provides valuable tips for both individuals with hearing loss and their loved ones.

We learned that more than half of adults over 75 in the US experience age-related hearing loss, emphasizing the need for open conversations and support.

Shari and Gael discussed the stigma, personal challenges, and mindset shifts in living well with hearing loss, providing valuable tips for improved communication and enhancing relationships.

Shari and Gael highlighted the advancements in hearing technology, sharing their personal experiences with hearing aids, caption readers, and telecoil technology to streamline communication.

They emphasized the importance of not bluffing about understanding and openly communicating about hearing loss. Shari and Gael introduced the acronym HEAR, a mental checklist for overcoming communication challenges, and discussed various technologies and strategies for improving hearing.

1. Mindset Shift: It's important for individuals with hearing loss to focus on improved communication and mindset shifts rather than returning to previous hearing abilities.
2. Effective Communication Strategies: Seeking help from audiologists, exploring hearing technology, and staying connected to loved ones are essential for living skillfully with hearing loss.
3. Don't hide, don't bluff. Communication is a team sport.
4. Ask for support. Ask for help.

We would love to hear from you! Share your takeaways from this episode and please rate and review the podcast when you listen.

Email us your feedback and stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we continue to explore new topics and insights on thriving in the Boomer stage of life.

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