Boomer Banter, Real Talk about Aging Well

Broken Bonds, Healing Paths: Sibling Estrangement & Reconciliation


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Season 7: Episode 168

In this episode, host Wendy Green sits down with author and sibling relationship expert, Fern Schumer Chapman, to dive into the challenges of family estrangement and the journey toward reconciliation. Together, they uncover the impact of estrangement on family dynamics, identity, and self-esteem, and share personal experiences that shed light on the complexities of rebuilding relationships with estranged siblings. This episode is a candid exploration of sibling relationships and the power of resilience in overcoming estrangement.

Guest Bio

Fern Schumer Chapman's childhood was filled with loss and trauma, as her mother, a Holocaust refugee, struggled to cope with her own past. Raised in a home where she and her brother fended for themselves, Fern's experiences shaped her understanding of family dysfunction and the impact of trauma on relationships.

Her mother's inability to model a successful relationship or navigate differences led to estrangement, a common response to family dysfunction. Fern's personal experiences have informed her work as an author and advocate, and she is committed to raising awareness and understanding of the complex issues surrounding estrangement and family dynamics.

Episode Overview:

In this episode, Wendy Green engages in a meaningful discussion with Fern Schumer Chapman, author of "Brothers, Sisters, Strangers: Sibling Estrangement and the Road to Reconciliation," as they explore the emotional complexities of sibling estrangement. Fern shares her personal journey of rebuilding a relationship with her brother after decades of estrangement and offers valuable insights into the impact of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and familial trauma on sibling relationships. The conversation delves into the challenges, emotions, and valuable lessons learned from the process of rekindling a family bond.

Episode Takeaways:

1. Sibling estrangement is a commonly experienced yet stigmatized issue, affecting approximately 1 in 3 people, and can have a significant impact on family dynamics and individual well-being.

2. Rebuilding a relationship with a distant sibling requires patience, face-to-face communication, and a willingness to acknowledge and set aside the pain and anger of the past. This process can be challenging and time-consuming.

3. Trauma and mental illness, such as PTSD, can be common risk factors for sibling estrangement, and it's important to understand the impact of these factors on family relationships.

4. Parents can play a role in preventing sibling estrangement by avoiding favoritism, modeling conflict resolution, and negotiation skills for their children.

5. When managing a relationship with a difficult sibling, options range from complete estrangement to limited, superficial interactions, requiring careful consideration of safety and personal well-being.

Call to Action:

Connect with Fern Schumer Chapman:

- Website: https://fernschumerchapman.com

- Email: [email protected]

Join the conversation and share your thoughts about sibling estrangement with us on social media using #HeyBoomer.


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Boomer Banter, Real Talk about Aging WellBy Wendy Green

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