Born in the Eighties

Jesus strolled into Jerusalem and he was like... "What's up my babies?".  The gang tries to talk about their dreams, but that falls apart as Jon spins tales of the origins of McDonald's character "The Grimace".  Bibles have pages that are too thin, and girls with Tongue studs like to go downtown, and I am not talking about the civic center.  Lantz and Jon both decide that if they were super attractive, they would become evil and take over the world. And may Uncle O'Grimacy keep your mugs full of Shamrock shakes.

Enter season 2.  Topics range from Butt-chugging to pill parties and much more.  Matt brings the new theme music sauce, and the gang finds out how real Americans reacted to M.I.A flipping the U.S.A the bird at the super bowl.  God damn those Egyptian head-dresses.  Adam has the worst references and enjoys inviting homeless men to follow him home.

The show Heroes had a lot of problems.  Ilsa the She-Wolf of the SS is actually pretty lame.  Adam's reference-ometer is way off, and Adam's ability to prepare for podcasts is questioned.  The guys chat about the new Brian K. Vaughn comic "Saga".  Lantz tells the tale of his ill fated pet hamster.  Rather than pawning off this little urine-flinging chain mangling monster, Lantz let nature take its course.  The guys discuss how to make Nascar more exciting, and a couple tips on making international flags much cooler.  Finally Jon and Lantz form the brand new wrestling team "The Bruise Brothers"

The one where they knock the dust out of the attic, and explain some schemes on how to get rich.  Ideas range from War Profiteering, to Land Pirating to writing the next young adult book trilogy.  I can see them dollar signs now. Lantz really has a hard time grinding his gears this week, listen after the end theme.

Lantz, Adam and Jon ponder tiny houses for dwarfs, Star Wars inconsistencies, and how god damn terrible Darth Vader was at running the war.  Han shot first, and Darth Vader is who is coming to dinner.  Lantz takes the "Psychopath Test", and the gang ponders how those mad scientist Russians are going to have our brains in robots by 2025.

Lantz and Jon reminisce about their McDonald's work experiences.  Lantz makes sure that those hand towels are safe and secure.  Jon needs to memorize his sandwiches.  Lantz entails his crazy run in with the world's lamest biker party where someone has their whammy bar tugged.  The gang discusses terrible job experiences, and Jon gives the greatest tip for job interviews... lie.  If allowed time travel, Jon would go back to the 60s, and live Don Draper's life, Adam wouldn't go back in time.  The past is so mainstream.. Adam is a hipster.  Lantz would go back to a time where he could use food and small trinkets for sexual favors.  The guys talk about freaky dreams and sexy co-workers.  Adam is constantly shot in his dreams.  Send us your dreams at [email protected] or leave us a comment below.

Lauren Welch joins us to battle quizbot, and promote her improv show on Monday the 27th.  Then, Lantz, Adam, and Jon brainstorm what would happen if aliens existed, and how Adam would react to being abducted by aliens.  (Spoiler: Adam is really quiet and doesn't believe any of it)  Also, listen to how Jon's accent slowly takes a trip around the world.

Lantz is the Latka of the podcast.  The 3 nerds discuss where on a spaceship they would like to be positioned, run ins with chatty convenience store clerks.  Lantz brings up comics, and the terrible death of superman saga of the nineties.  More comics.  Lots of comics. (Especially how lame Moon Knight is) Also, people need to get Mr. Dan Conner, John Goodman, more work in hollywood.  Lantz approves of the new Van Halen album.  And the gang previews the movies of the spring and summer of 2012.

We sit down and chat with Jon's very animated ol' buddy and his puppety pal, Snickers.  We discuss why Jon is always bringin' Adam down, Adam's Native American Heritage, and Mercury's 16 year old girl drinking habits.  Mercury brings the crazy, controversial, and insane energy.  Quite a listen.

You strain to hear the noise coming over the countertop.  Had Joe Dibella's mob goons struck again?  You can hear the struggle out in the hallway.  Was that poor Adam, the peg-leg janitor, being ruthlessly beaten and left for dead?  The muffled shouting and beating noises subside, and you ready yourself for the coming gunfight.  Jon, nestled behind his chemistry apparatus, lay huddled in fear.  You, Lantz, private investigator, are the only thing between the mob and the maltese.. something...