Botched Archives

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group, in searching for the friendly vampires have stumbled into a series of traps. Well, Sir Fennec especially has seemed to have fallen into a rather nasty one. I wonder what happens when you hit a hard surface falling from 200 feet? The group will soon find out! After they deal with that messy situation, they are going to have to deal with a few other trials and tribulations before finding their vampire buddies. Did Sir Fennec manage to make it out of the fall alive? What other traps await them in the dungeon? What are the vampires up to? When are blood sacrifices ok? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Just when you thought there couldn’t be more shopping, Botched Podcast gives you…even more shopping! However, Old Prospector alerted the group that they are working for a bunch of blood cultist vampires. They have now arrived back at the island only to find none of the inhabitants in the town. In this episode, the group will search the town to figure out where the supposed vampires might have gone. They come across a hidden series of tunnels underneath the island town. What will they find down in these tunnels? What possible dangers await them? Why are there no torches? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! What a fabulous shopping spree the group has just finished with. Now they have a new ally in the Ratsketball, and he is full of rope. Adorned in their Khak suits, the group is now tasked with a quest by Christina Wisdomian. In order to get some special gear of their own, they must seek out towns across the sea and trade for some much-needed goods. The town of Resthaven needs leather, 11 herbs and spices, some livestock and some ore. What do they need these items for?

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Well this seems like quite a nice little village they’ve found themselves in. A little foggy sure, but everyone seems awfully friendly. They’re well mannered, kind and accommodating! The group is in luck as this town doesn’t have a form of money. They all just trade goods and services for what they want. There happen to be a number of little shops in this town. I wonder what completely normal items they will acquire over the course of their stay. What sort of goods are available in this town? What services must they provide in order to acquire goods? Why are these people so nice? What is a khaksuit? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Why can’t these guys just take their punishment like they deserve? Of course not, they not only have to break out, but have to make a mess doing so and cause as much pain as possible. Now that they are free there seems to be a bigger issue. A giant killer fish monster is attacking the boat. I’m sure the group will heroically help defend the ship against the monster and then gain a new crew of prisoners and guards to sail the seas looking for adventure! Just kidding, they are only out for themselves as always. After meeting a familiar face, the group attempts to leave the rest of the assholes on the boat behind. Who do they meet on the deck of the boat? Can they escape the fish monster? If they do manage to get away, where will they go in the middle of a colossal storm? How easy is it to surf an ocean vortex? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Another story completed, another new chapter to start. The last chapter didn’t quite end how the guys wanted, but I guess that’s what happens when you roleplay as murder hobos! In this new session we join a familiar face and some new ones as they are prisoners of the Knights of the Phoenix. In the rain, they are transferred to a boat, where they will be taken to an undisclosed island hidden in the Schuylkill Sea. This hodge-podge of brigands, derelict souls and generally shitty individuals will have a long, painful, work filled life ahead of them. That is, unless something happens to them along the way to change their fates. Who are these new strangers? What did they do to deserve such a fate? Why is the island so remote? Is there any danger on the way to the island? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! As Nobu charges the Kronenbergers, the time has come to meet the new gods. The group must now converse with the new gods and make sure that they enlist their help against the old gods. Due to the previous decisions of the group, sacrifices must be made in order to save the Kronenbergers. Knight Commander Nachio Del Grande is in route to give the group their just rewards. Will the group enlist the aid of the gods? Can they save the kronenbergers? What will they receive from Nachio Del Grande? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The people of Squalls End are not looking so good. In fact, the town itself is pretty fucked. After crashing their flying ride into the town, they hid in a granary to make a last stand. That didn’t go so well either as the kronenbergers started coming in the walls and through the roof. They found a tunnel and descended into its depths. Now they look for a way out as the kronenbergers scratch at the ceiling trying to get in. What else is down in these tunnels? Can they escape the kronenbergers? What will happen at midnight? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Now that the group has successfully kidnapped Clarice. They have decided to follow their orders however they feel like yet again. The ship floats above Squalls End, waiting. The group has no idea what they’re waiting for exactly. All they know is Clarice needs to be in town at Midnight when the New Gods arrive. I’m sure their plan of waiting until midnight and then parachuting down to the ground just in the nick of time will go perfectly. What could possibly go wrong? What’s happening in town while they wait? How does Clarice feel about the group murdering innocent people to keep the boat running? Tune in and find out!

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Of course, the group thought it would be a great idea to kidnap the princess to keep her safe instead of just keeping her safe where she was. To be fair the group was trying to protect her from a religious war. Oh wait. They started the religious war when they murdered a child with a rock. Not only that, but they threatened to murder the ones protecting the living god Clarice. I guess they are only following orders after all. Oh wait. They didn’t bother to listen to all of their orders and the ones they listened to say no such thing. On the bright side they have run into a group of actual would be kidnappers. After dealing with that situation, I’m sure the situation they created with the town will be just fine too. Who are these kidnappers? What do they want with Clarice? How will that religious war pan out? Does the group plan to follow any of their actual orders? Tune in and find out!