Botched Archives

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It seems that when Yokkish’s drunk ex-sister-in-law drank a big container of some mystery liquid before jumping out into space...they probably should have made sure she was dead. Now she has utilized the newly upgraded Jaegers, courtesy of our crackpot crew, to weaponize the facility and go on her merry way. While the crew has a big cruise ship at their disposal, what they don’t have is a ship with a decent amount of fire power. Giving up, they decide to head to a space farmers market before heading to Better Earth. Why is Yokkish so hungry and molty all of a sudden? Why would the crew want a space lobster? Who goes to a space farmers market on an asteroid? What the hell is a greech? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The crew is finally at the computer core. Oh, there’s like 9 million buttons. Well how hard can it be to figure out which one turns everything back on? Just ask the waitstaff, I’m sure they’ll know. Everyone knows the waitstaff are secretly computer programmers. Well assuming that goes horribly awry, that wendigo is probably going to show up soon. Hopefully this room has some sort of anti-wendigo weaponry. If they can make it out alive, they’ll have a fancy new ship to bring back to their army of once drunk robots! Can they survive the wendigo? Why would a cruise ship have a self destruct sequence? What is a rocket powered morningstar? How happy are the drunk robots going to be to see them? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Deciding to face off in one on one combat with his greatest fear, a wendigo, Jokkish sustains numerous wounds. However, instead of finishing him off, the wendigo leaves Jokkish alone. Wonder what that means. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew goes up to the bridge in hopes of getting out of this floating rig of death. However, they instead find gooey pods with people in them. Unbeknownst to the rest of the crew, Zoop Zoop is feeling a serious maternal instinct pop in, never having children of his own. His internal clock must be ticking. Why are people in pods? What else is in these pods? Can they be trusted? How do they get off the ship? What’s wrong with making people sign a contract in order for you to save their lives? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for a completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group now apparently has control of a factory that manufactures sentient robots. Formerly drunk robots that are now just highly efficient. I’m sure the group will have nothing but benevolent plans in mind for them. As for the mission at hand, the crew must eliminate the last of Plakku’s ex wives. This one is a vampire. Apparently. They land on the cruise ship and immediately find out this is not the same threat they have faced before. Perhaps, this wife actually is a monster. Locked in the ship, with no way out and no way to communicate the crew must figure out the best way to survive. What is Yokkish’s biggest fear? What happens when you get bitten enough times by some monsters? What sort of nefarious plans can you create with an army of murder robots, led by would be dictators? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! It all comes down to this...for some reason. Jokkish has challenged Oot Scuut to a suicidal flip clup competition. Unlike normal flip clup, this version ends with the loser offing themselves. High stakes drinking at its best. Jokkish will need to summon all of his ability with quick reflexes and an iron stomach. Meanwhile, the rest of the crew is up in the control room trying to get it working again. If they can get it functioning, it would allow the group to create more Jaegers. Why would the group want a bunch of drunk robots? Will Jokkish be victorious? What would it be like to have an overactive Jaeger on space cocaine? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Successful in the elimination of a “banshee,” Yokkish has completed the first of three elimination missions. It is kind of strange that Yokkish’s ex brother in law seemingly dates a lot of women that later turn out to be monsters after they get divorced. And he owes them money. I’m sure that’s just a coincidence though. Now, Yokkish is on the hunt for a vampire. This particular vampire is hiding out with a bunch of Jaeger bots. However, they must find the secret Jaeger building facility first, which there are only a few in the entire galaxy who know that location. Who knows where to find this facility? Since when was Samuel Adams so jacked? How much for you to sell out your best customer? What is Gin-Gineering? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Yokkish has been tasked by his brother-in-law, and also head of his organization, to track down and take care of some personal monsters. Sure, he was married to them and now he’s going through messy divorces, that could result in huge alimony payments, but I’m sure he’s on the up and up. The first target, Oot Scuut, is a supposed banshee. However, she has decided to join a religious sect on Prometheus 3, the Xenon. Once you join, you become a Xenon and all your earthly possessions pass to the church (including alimony payments). What is a Xenon? What kind of person is Oot Scuut? How will a religious sect feel about killing one of their would-be members? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! The group narrowly avoided an orbital bombardment from the Not’n’avi. Also, it seems that they are not particularly pleased with Joran. I’m sure that won’t come up later or anything. However, we now discover what is actually in that apple crate that Jokkish bought off of Bama Jean. Seems AJ Worshington now has a brain slug attached to his head and prefers to be called Zoop Zoop. Speaking of Jokkish, he has received a message from his brother in law, the head of his order the Supernatural Tracking Universal Policing & Investigative Department. He must track down three monsters across the universe and put them down before they can cause any harm. What are these three creatures? Is Zoop Zoop different from AJ Worshington? What happens if Better Earth tries to get in touch with him? How does Blockbuster work in this future? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Hosts: Dennis, Phil, Austin, Tristan, Jon

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! With the pad race now over, a clear winner has been determined. It is none other than the unlikely Grandpa Joe! However, in their attempt to kill Grandpa Joe as he crossed the finish line...Joe ended up decapitating his grandson Billy, the child he was trying to win the race for. Now that Joe has won, solely because of the crew by the way, the crew will now stop at nothing to make sure that Joe cannot enjoy those winnings. However, something else seems to be wrong at the race. There is an uneasy feeling, as though something awful (unrelated to the crew) is about to happen. How will the crew try to ruin Grandpa Joe? What is about to happen to the planet of Sluggogia? What is in this package from BamaJean for AJ Worshington? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer

Welcome to Botched: A D&D Podcast! Ok, I promise this is the last episode of Pad Racing! By the end of this episode we will know who the winner will be. Whether it be AJ, one of the other crewmates, Grandpa Joe, or even one of the sluggogian crime lord drivers. Hell, it might even be Tony Pepperoni. AJ starts out this episode with a big lead, and he still has two hits of Nitro left. Since no one else seems to have Nitro for some reason, seems a pretty safe bet he is going to win. Right? There are plenty of tricky track spots, such as lava tubes, tunnels, sand pits, loopdy loops and other stuff that are waiting to wreck the drivers. Who will come out on top? Will they all survive? What sort of dirty tricks are the racers going to use against one another? What is the most horrible way to claim victory? Tune in and find out!

Join in on the banter as these dickheads whose understanding of the rules is questionable, and their moral compasses are even more so, stumble through dungeons, traps, monsters, and social intricacies as they attempt to complete a quest for wholly selfish reasons.

If you are a veteran dragon slayer from the long long ago of the 1970’s or a newbie who is interested in hearing what this devil worshipping game is all about, Botched: A D&D Podcast is the DnD Podcast for you. As mentioned, we are playing 5th edition rules, so if you’ve never played this version of the game before, listening to us will give you an idea of how it may be different from previous versions of the game. 5th edition is a great rule set to start playing the game with. Find out if there’s a local game near where you live at comic book or game stores. Hell, buy some books, buy some dice, get some food and drinks and invite your friends over to play with you for completely different experience!

A special shout out and thank you to all of our supporters over on Patreon. You help us continue to churn out “quality” episodes. With your continued support we can upgrade our dining room, I mean studio, with better quality microphones, sound proofing and merchandise. Help us achieve our goals and reap the benefits as we will begin producing novellas of the seasons, behind the scenes features and live shows! Check out our store over at Botched Podcast where you can find tshirts, stickers, prints and more!

Check out each of the hosts’ Twitch streams! Dennis, Phil, Austin & Jon, Tristan, GSTU(Phil gets drunk and play games with other hosts)

Art by Emily Swan

Music by Gozer