Episode Summary

In this powerful and thought-provoking episode, UNB Tim is joined by Scott, a straight man and long-time thong and spandex wearer, for a deep dive into masculinity, societal expectations, and the uneven playing field between gay and straight men when it comes to self-expression. Together, they unpack the cultural double standards that dictate what straight men can and can’t wear, how those rules stem from patriarchal control, and the emotional journey many men go through in embracing their authentic selves.

Scott opens up about his journey from high school football lineman and military Blackhawk pilot to body-positive advocate and unapologetic spandex-wearing gym-goer. He shares his near-death experience that led him to reevaluate his relationship with masculinity and stop living for others’ approval. This conversation touches on the societal discomfort with men expressing sexiness, why straight men face harsher criticism for non-traditional clothing choices, and how control, not attire, lies at the heart of these reactions.

Whether you’re gay, straight, or somewhere in between, this episode is a wake-up call to examine how masculinity is policed—and how liberating it is to break free from those constraints.

Notable Quotes

“Men fear the most the things that set them free.” – Scott

“It’s not the thong they’re offended by—it’s what the thong represents to them.” – UNB Tim

“You’re only as manly as the last thing you did. So if you’re not doing manly things, people start to question who you are.” – Scott

“Straight men want to be in control of everything in their life… and when they can’t control another man, it terrifies them.” – Scott

“What you wear doesn’t make you a man. But needing to control what other men wear? That says more about you than them.” – Scott

“If you look someone in the eye with conviction and show them you’re not afraid, bullies back down. They don’t know what to do with that energy.” – Scott

“Most people are too busy with their own lives to care what underwear you’re wearing. The fear is in your head.” – Scott

“You may lose some friends, but you’ll gain better ones. Burn out the deadwood. What you gain on the other side is worth it.” – Scott

“This isn’t just about underwear. This is about saving men from themselves—and the violence that grows from unchecked masculinity.” – Scott

“For anyone wanting to explore this more, read For the Love of Men by Liz Plank. It shifted my entire mindset.” – Scott

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