This week, Keri, Peter and Matthew unearthed Freudian recollections from Santa's grotto, discussed the cool, hipness of voice notes and pondered which haircut the Fickling lad should get next.

Somewhere underneath the unwanted jumpers, we found:

• George: Stable genius or thick as pigshit?

• Two-tone Tony: The boy from Bridge Farm recalls the only wooly childhood nightmare not involving his Mum.

• Perfectly acceptable: Jakob to take on the cottage despite living rent-free in Keri's head.

• Brookfield Bellend Olympics: David and Ben make the podium but the eldest child Pips it.

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