The boys wishfully read NBA tea leaves in the hope of a King’s return, lament the Guards perceived lack of respect, and propose an Amari Cooper holdout theory.

The boys throw passes in shorts on X, give glowing performance reviews followed by termination, and marvel at the Guardians inexplicably hot start to the MLB season.

The boys talk LeBron’s calculated playoff viewing habits, debate Guardian legitimacy, and struggle to adapt to the sober offseason banality of a competent Cleveland Browns organization.

The boys talk about the Cavs minuscule mental makeup, gasp at Guardian galloping guffaws, and enjoy a long awaited, super boring, by-the-numbers and perfectly fine Cleveland Browns draft.

The boys talk Cavs caving, baseball balking, and Deshaun Watson’s unequivocal endorsement of Kevin Stefanski as head coach of the Cleveland Browns. White face masks, too!

The boys move the team to Brook Park, suffer through another ill-fated Cleveland lakefront development pitch, and indulge in the holy trinity of awful sports talk topics — taxes, tickets, and stadium talk. Weeeee!

The boys absolutely do not discuss free agency, look for nefarious motives behind the addition of Mike Vrabel, and find football futility in the absence of a Deshaun Watson return to form.

The boys suffer a relapse of Flacco Fever, debate the need for elite wide receivers for elite QBs, and dig into a veritable cornucopia of Cleveland Browns and general NFL news.

The boys put a dome on banal stadium debate, examine cap cutting silly season social media anxiety, and ultimately find themselves right back where they were — wondering if Deshaun Watson will ever be Deshaun Watson for the Cleveland Browns.

The boys introduce myriad new Cleveland Browns coaches, ponder the plausibility of a potential power struggle in Berea, and lament the undeniable symptoms of oncoming G.O.A.T. fatigue in the wake of yet another Kansas City Chief Super Bowl appearance.