The boys tolerate another semi-inspirational Kevin Stefanski locker room reading of advanced analytics and beat the oblivious bastards who heartlessly celebrated when they stole our team with a stunning 33-31 victory over the poorly rebranded 1944-1995 Cleveland Browns.

The boys take care of business against the Arizona Cardinals, draw up an explosive offense in the dirt, and find themselves at the crossroads of 2023 season with back to back matchups against the dreaded Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers.

The boys lose sleep in Seattle as they watch PJ Walker’s fairy tale win streak come to a predictable end and apologize to Deshaun Watson for lobbing bombs, egregious hot takes, and tin-foil hat fandom.

The boys steadfastly refuse to entertain a modicum of negativity, learn to embrace good fortune despite Deshaun Watson weirdness, and are befuddled by a bizarre Browns win against the Indianapolis Colts.

The boys apparently drop acid and hallucinate a wildly improbable short-handed Cleveland Browns victory against QB wunderkind Brock Purdy and the undefeated San Francisco 49ers.

The boys re-evaluate their own postgame evaluations, lose faith in Kevin Stefanski, and find the bye-week Cleveland Browns teetering on the precipice of another lost season.

The boys heroically shrug off another disappointing Sunday of Browns football, attempt to contextualize crappy play with proper perspective, and accept their inevitable fate as the Cleveland Deshaun Watsons.

The boys put a painful Monday night loss behind them and watch the Browns finally put it all together—offense, defense, and special teams—in a convincing 27-3 victory against the Tennessee Titans.

The boys contemplate life without Nick Chubb, take a sober look at Deshaun Watson and Kevin Stefanski, and attempt to justify their continued fandom in the aftermath of another nightmarish Monday night in Pittsburgh.

The boys celebrate a week one beat down of Burrow’s Bengals, nominate Jim Schwartz for Defensive Player of the Year, and look ahead to white helmets, Monday Night Football, and the dreaded Pittsburgh Steelers.