Browns Bridge Church

From elementary school through high school, many of us had ideas of what the perfect relationship would look like in the future. While those dreams may not represent our current reality, a step in the right direction could be to follow the apostle Paul’s advice—move from our childish ways and start being grownups.

If becoming the right kind of person is key to a great relationship, how do you do that? Is there something you can do to prepare? Does it just happen? Sure, we’re supposed to love others, but what does that really mean? Let’s lean in and read the fine print.

In relationships, we often believe if we find the right person it will make everything right. So we ask ourselves, “Is this the right person for me?” Maybe we need to be asking a different question—a question that shifts our focus from seeking the right kind of person to becoming the right kind of person.

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We are taught that independence is what we are ultimately striving for in life. Get through school. Get a job. Be independent. But why are we so unsatisfied when we get there? The answer may be right in front of you.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.” Yeah, right! We know words matter—a lot. For centuries, people have tried to predict or understand behavior in an attempt to strengthen communication. One of the best keys to this is understanding the four temperaments. In this message, Adam and Kelly Johnson and Kathleen Edelman walk through the four temperaments and show how identifying them will help you have better conversations.

When we see someone we care about make bad decisions, we can either confront them about it or hope someone else does. Many times we opt for the latter, under the guise of being kind, not wanting to interfere, or waiting for them to ask for our input. But we should ask ourselves: are we really being kind, or are we letting fear, discomfort, or indifference be the boss of us?

All of us walk through life with occasional fear. And it’s not always a bad thing. Fear is a byproduct of our ability to think about what might happen in the future, and it can protect us from harm. However, living with too much fear can cause us to be self-absorbed, distracted, and overly protective. But the good news is this: You don’t have to be afraid even when there’s something to be afraid of.

When we feel anger, our emotions tell us it’s 100 percent someone else’s fault. But James, the brother of Jesus, has something different to say. When we take a step back and acknowledge what the problem really is, anger will no longer be the boss of us.

Envy causes us to compare and compete with others in an unhealthy way. It brings arrogance when we’re winning and discouragement when we’re not. It robs us of contentment and causes us to feel like—as an ancient king put it—we’re chasing after the wind. But envy doesn’t have to be the boss.