Do you have a laundry list of emotions you think you can’t handle? Maybe you think you’ll be swallowed up by criticism, negative emotions, loneliness or loss—loss of a partner, status, money, job, etc. The overarching theme in all of this is disappointment. People avoid disappointment all the time because they don’t think they can deal with it, which keeps them from moving forward. It is the opposite of emotional resiliency, which is your belief that you’ll be able to handle whatever life throws you. Emotional resiliency is a HUGE turning point in emotional growth, and trust me, you want it. It’s what allows you to take risks that previously held you back.

When you are emotionally resilient, you don’t end up settling because you’re coming from a place of abundance, not scarcity. You have an inner peace, knowing you’ll bounce back from whatever life throws your way. If you go through a break-up or loss, while still painful, deep inside you trust you’re going to be ok. Knowing you won’t be stuck in a pit of despair and disappointment gives you the strength to let go of what isn’t working instead of clinging to the breadcrumbs you have.

Emotional resiliency leads to making better choices and taking greater risks because you have an inherent trust that you’ll survive. Building it requires a series of small, emotional steps where you’re able to see you actually CAN handle things. Each time you don’t die, you build that muscle, which gives you the confidence to try again. Each time you do it, it becomes less and less scary. And guess what? Emotional resiliency is available to all. Even if you didn’t get what you needed as a kid, you can give it to yourself as an adult by continually taking emotional risks. It’s how you change your life.