Episode 18 is ‘pon us ya’ll!

Happy Birthdays to Whoopi, Gerry and the hubby of the poddy!

Don’t you just hate it when the ceiling spontaneously collapses on the child you’re meant to be taking care of? Or you casually bowl it down the garden path? So far, fortunately only one of these things has happened to us, tune in to find out which!

We are being inspired this week by the sexy men of the world who are doing a better job of being women than us, so with this in mind we are taking to a pole and developing an alter ego to escape our gobliny ways for one hour a week.

C does a glorious job of reminding us of how old and incapable we are all of a sudden.

Side note: Did anyone else get a warning that the physical decline was nigh?

It feels like we found a letter down the back of the sofa that remained unopened for at least a decade, which apparently stated we are rapidly approaching the point of no return.

Anyway, it appears it’s too late for us to move about now and I don’t know who to write to to complain.

We are redesigning armpit razors since C has shrunk to the size of a borrower, I was kindly trying to invent a lollipop style deodorant for C’s elephant graveyard and she insisted I must have my arms glued to my legs for the rest of my life.

We are reminiscing about our formative years as pub children, and how this shaped us into the well rounded, feral dump folk we are today. Meeting Slash emerging from a bag of Christmas decorations will do that to you.

Tune in your wireless to join us on this wild ride on BUTTSTUFF!

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Remember, remember, the 5th of November;

Gunpowder, treason, and plot.

But remember more fondly the 6th of November when BUTTSTUFF released their rot!

Our resident pyromaniac explains the sinister reason we originally celebrated ‘bonfire night’, and lets us in on her first childhood experiences of robbing innocent pedestrians using a sort of ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ strategy with a poorly made mannequin constructed solely of tights.

LeatMoaf had his number 1 hit with ‘I would do anything for love’ on this day in history, which lead us to questioning what other people were secretly singing about..

Turns out C, suspects all artists, living or dead, of singing about anal at all times.

Unless it’s the Foo Fighters who are obviously famous for rapping about the ghetto.

Furthermore we are feeling fortunate that the punishment of being hung, drawn and quartered is a thing of the past but paying respects to our very own Welsh Braveheart Dafydd ap Gruffydd, the last Prince of Wales who died fighting for our independence 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Tune in your wireless to join us on this wild ride through history, and more on BUTTSTUFF!

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Happy Halloween and happy Episode 16 great mates of the world!

Enjoy my dulcet tones from what sounds like another room, in another house, in another postcode.

This is the result of my paranoia that I was shouting at you all, so I tried to compensate for it, badly.

We start by discussing the ways Disney chose to traumatise us as children, mainly that C is troubled by the fact that her uncle didn’t murder her dad like Scar killed Mufasa. Then moving rapidly onto the sexy beast that is Kovu, the most fanciable lion in animated history.

Was anyone else “gifted” any sinister clowns or terrifying porcelain dolls as a child that continued to haunt you for the rest of your life?

This weeks words of wisdom: Don’t bother watching ‘Cabin Fever 2’.

Winston the inept copper is the only redeeming feature with his inability to arrange a tow truck.

C is kind enough to provide context to a previous job by giving the very informative detail that she used to work ‘away from the house’.

We are reminiscing our time in Turkey, and crossing the Bosporous Bridge to the Grand Bazaar 🇹🇷 saved from being worn as a hat by locals by the lovely Walter, to whom we are eternally grateful 🙏🏼

Tune your knobs in for alladis and more on BUTTSTUFF!

🎙️Listen to our weekly episodes out every Monday, wherever you get your podcasts!👂

Episode 15 is being delivered to thee our dearest pals pon de web!

We are today celebrating Ryan Reynolds birthday! WITH a request that they take a leaf out of Romas book and alter Wrexam A.F.C’s team emblem to incorporate a Wolf breastfeeding maybe himself and Rob McElhenney..? C and I also wouldn’t mind if you used an effigy of ourselves.

We are finally making good on our promise to learn about moles on National Mole Day! Which rapidly turned into the makings of a new and terrifying horror film that will shake the very foundations of Hollywood.

Almost as terrifying as the one horror film I watched this week for the first time that offended me deeply.. Beauty and the Beast. Please enjoy my first hand interpretation of a narcissistic, judgemental, furry CHILD with a temper, and the case of Stockholm syndrome that haunts his victims.

If that wasn’t horrifying enough, now we’re being letched upon by Danny Devito masquerading as a scantily glad Greek hero..

Further celebrations for the anniversary of Dumbo’s release in 1941! Another culturally questionable concept from Walt Disney from the days where anyone who wasn’t a white man could only dream of having rights.

Furthermore we discuss C’s gift of numbers and my curse of not numbers. We will need to release a whole new show to explain C’s OCD, and why it’s so bad she has to live in a paper mill.

Bake off is back! We are feeling wholesome and wholemeal and all of the above.

Aside from all the bread we are currently consuming, we are otherwise living on a diet of caffeine and spite. And it is excellent.

I come with excellent news about the extinction of The White Throated Rail bird, and its miraculous reemergence into the Aldabra Atoll tens of thousands of years later due to falling sea levels, eloquently explained by C in a Pokémon analogy.

C then fails at trying to task me to learn about the origins of Manx cats under a spotlight with the world watching.

With pop Queen Britney Spears’ book out tomorrow, we are delving into the meaning of the song lyrics ‘hit me baby one more time’ which was released this day 1998, and revisiting some of the unfortunate individuals the poor girl had the misfortune of being affiliated with over the years.

Fortunately it doesn’t appear that the songwriter was physically abusive, but bilingual and perhaps not as proficient in English as their mother tongue.

But it does sound suspiciously like Justin Timberlake has a micropenis.

Gemma has reached a length of 5ft 3 and C is preparing for her to come and stay in the spare room over Winter.

All this, and more on this weeks episode of BUTTSTUFF!

🐾 Rip Dave the dog from gogglebox, known fondly by his Father as Dave the knobhead 🖤

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Episode 14 is upon us our dearest friends of the life!

We are hard hitting journalists in this episode, get yourselves ready for the following take home messages….

This week featuring some bonus footage! We were interrupted so started again, apparently with considerably less desire to buffer our opinions on celebrities who look like they have bodies in their wardrobe.

Happy Birthday John Mayer, you might be a criminal.

Andrei Chikatilo is not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy.

George hull was an old atheist conman who went about chatting to reverends with his hand down his trousers. He was also the creator of the Cardiff Giant, a 10 foot depiction of a ‘man’, which you can still see if you so desire, it’s still in the family, it’s in a tomb, it’s in a museum.

They’ve got a website.

Furthermore, if you’ve died before and turned into stone, please get in touch to let us know how it happened.

For reference, C operates in varying decimals and in this instance 299lb is equivalent to 2990lb.

We are remembering C’s first car, and its flammable demise one sad Christmas morning.

Happy 100th anniversary to Disney and delving into the drama behind the birth of the most magical place in the world! Introducing Oswald the Dodgy Rabbit, who bares absolutely no resemblance to Mickey the Mouse.

Please enjoy the informative story of Hedwig the King who was crowned 10 years old of Poland, and all the lobles.

We are certainly attempting to review the scary films we’ve been watching this spooky season, C’s simultaneously best and worst film revealed as “The Killer Sofa”, and my genetic inability to answer this question.

Further apologies that I’m still struggling to breathe, and in the process of this am really quite disgusting. I am gross. Fortunately sometimes the rain is so loud it stifles the sound of my sniffing.

Join us on BUTTSTUFF this week for episode 13 (ooooo 👻) where we unravel ‘The Curse of The Banana Bread’! Not forgetting the other curses which have been kindly bestowed upon us.

This week we are ignoring a whole host of recording issues, namely the fact that I had to re-record over some corrupt audio which I’ve done seamlessly and no one will ever notice.

We give a brief lesson in the history of British Prime Ministers, and the scenes we have constructed in our psyche to soften the blow of the absolute shambles that is ‘running’ our country.

On the same lines, we discuss the Saw franchise which we are revisiting due to the looming presence of Halloween, and the fact that we need to watch horror films for adrenaline to feel remotely alive anymore. Have you ever listened to 2 ADHD-ers trying to discuss a film? ‘Trying’ being the operative word..

Lest we forget how we spent our childhoods, featuring content from Welsh comedian Leroy Brito..

Enjoy another weeks worth of absolute drivel straight from the source, brought to you with the best will in the world, along with well wishes for your week ahead!

You’re smashing it, you absolute legend.

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This week we are coming at you from ‘The Bistro Set’ with some top tier sound effects! Featuring a guest appearance from ‘The Snuff’ who’s giving us grunting and heavy breathing throughout like a creepy caller, and my dribbling self who is exuding snot from every orifice at a rate of knots and it obviously sounds… sexy.

Uncontrollable bodily functions notwithstanding, we are discussing the craziest celebrity trial of the 90’s, which included one of my favourite low speed car chases of all time. Orenthal also holds the record of being the first and only person to actually adhere to the 20mph speed limit as imposed in Wales, almost 30 years prior to it being introduced.

We are dishing out the life advice we were given as children, this week featuring, “don’t fall out of a window”, which seems like a perfectly reasonable warning, unless you’re C, who has a distinct amnesia for tragic deaths following window accidents, and a disdain for following the rules.

We hope you can find it in your hearts to assist in a fundraiser to buy me a pair of trousers since C believes I’ve been wearing nothing but transparent, half mast tights for the last decade. She’s also hopeful that someone else will set it up because she can’t be arsed.

Join us for another 50 too many minutes of utter garbage, as we readjust to not being murdered and buried alive by a mad man and his enormous nephew.

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Join us this week on BUTTSTUFF and enjoy our introduction to the Bull horn academy who’s curriculum, we are hopeful, covers all manner of large animal husbandry not excluding the national animal of Scotland; the majestic unicorn, the mascot of Wales; the dragon, and of course, ‘Howdy Doody’, the enormous, shotgun-riding bull we discuss in this weeks episode.

Not happy with a dragon on our flag 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 we also insist the rest of the world refers to us as ‘The Land of Song’, and we’re claiming Catherine Zeta Jones.. Wishing you and your husband wonderful birthday celebrations, hope you’re enjoying it in sunnier climes than the Motherland.

We have been looking a little deeper into ‘dreams’, and why can we orchestrate a whole musical in the time it takes to throw a dream punch? Our dream anxieties are thought to originate from our ancestors, which must mean that my maternal line was also victim to the ludicrous, recurring dreams that I experience on the reg. As well as to blame, thanks guys..

Lastly what better time to celebrate the versatility of the humble potato?!

But with what accompaniment? There are a whole host of ways you can group the potato with the wrong veg, and I bet you didn’t know half of them!

I would also like to take this opportunity to clarify my stance on “beef” as mentioned in the episode, and that it does in fact belong with chips (fries), in the form of “steak” 🥩🍟😌

Furthermore on the topic of our culinary ingenuity, C reveals the very first time she made hamster paneer.. strap in to see if it has become a staple in her weekly cooking repertoire as a Mother!

Episode 10 is upon us folks! Welcome back to Mondays!

This week friends, we are learning all about the important events in history that they didn’t teach us in school! Had they adopted a more liberal approach to the content of the curriculum, extending to ‘The Great Australian Emu War’ of 1932, we may have attended more often, or at all. But fear not! Because we are here with the truth!

We pay tribute to the late Jimi Hendrix of the anniversary of this death, and also creep around an alternative theory on his untimely demise, considering the big questions about the findings of the case, like, why did Mr. Hendrix suddenly develop a desire to begin new hobby at the very end of his life, wine tasting?

We are pleased to hear the wonderful news that a skinny llama has been born to a giraffe in Namibia, it is allegedly one of only two spotless giraffes in existence. And if you were wondering the default colour of a giraffe, tune in and find out! We’ve got all this for you and more in this weeks episode of BUTT STUFF!

We are also asking you our most excellent listeners, if you could possibly assist in settling a lifelong dispute involving a song performed by Timone and Pumba of Disneys, ‘The Lion King’. We warmly welcome your input on the amount of ‘yup’s sung by the famous, flatulent warthog himself..

First snippet of our first experimental pilot! Bare with us guys, learning as we go here!