Caleb Can't Read

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TW: Rape;

You may know him as "Geoffrey Chaucer", but we know him as "Geoffrey Chaucer, God of Farts".  Welcome to our episode on the man who quite literally invented the word, and perfected the ass-craft with his most famous stories-- and the precursor to the entire English literary scene-- "The Canterbury Tales"!

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TW: Rape;

Good goofin' God we're back in Nebraska.  Come join us as we go over the greatest works of Willa Cather; including "Death Comes for the Archbishop", "My Antonia", and "One of Ours", as well as the last years of her life, fraught with pain and loss.  Yay!

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We hear you, and your prayers have been answered: you want more Nebraska.  Well today we have for you the embodiment of Nebraska itself, the author of "The Prairie Trilogy", and famous derby-hat-wearer, Willa Cather! 

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Welcome to our finale of Herman Melville folks.  The end of his depressing, destructive life, and yet the birth of Billy Budd, the "Handsome Sailor", a man so thicc with love, that he climaxes our hearts.  Anyway, we'll be covering some of his most memorable stories here as well, including "Bartleby" and "Benito Cereno" as well.  High school English course, here we come!

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Come join us as we go in length into the great American masterpiece, "Moby Dick"!  There's traumatized toddlers!  Dick fat!  A South Seas gay marriage!  Everything needed to run a safe re-election!

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Split your lungs with blood and thunder, kids!  It's Herman Melville!  As we begin our journey into the life of this troubled sailor, we will be focusing on his career as a failed writer before his eventual magnum opus, "Moby Dick".  Take your Dramamine, the water's gonna be rough!

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Hello, all.  This is just a quick update for anyone wondering why we've got such a strange episode schedule currently.  Short answer: it's because we don't make any money on this podcast so we're fighting for our lives with our day jobs.  And with schedule changes for our day jobs comes schedule changes for our episodes on here.  Episodes will now come every 2 weeks until further notice.  Thanks for your understanding!

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WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE COMMIE?  YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK TO UNCLE SAM THAT WAY?  Well it turns out that someone DID talk to Uncle Sam that way, and his name was James Dalton Trumbo, author of "Johnny Got His Gun" and the (in)famous Communist blacklisted from Hollywood!  Come listen to us discuss his most well-known work as well as Jordan not knowing the difference between Audrey and Katherine Hepburn.

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TW: Abuse, just... a lot of abuse all around.  Please skip this one if you've got any kind of hangups on this;

Welcome to the first episode for Season 4 of Caleb Can't Read!  And along with it, the most notorious pimp of them all, and the man who literally wrote the handbook on it, Iceberg Slim!

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TW: Child Abuse, Rape;

You know us, we love a good shithead.  Well we're digging up one of the most glorified of all the drunk, abusive, deadbeat writers of them all, the poet and novelist Charles Bukowski!