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Dear God in Heaven he's known as the worst poet in history and for good reason.  Between whales, bridges, and jute, the man is an unstoppable force of ass.  Not the good kind.  We're here to discuss the man, the myth, the unfortunate legend of William McGonagall!

Also, thanks again to our shitty equipment, at 0:14:17 the audio skips an entire section of William's story.  Here's what it's supposed to say: "But McGonagall did not understand that this was a rejection letter, instead focusing on the words 'Thank you', figuring it meant that the Queen wanted more.  William McGonagall would continue to practice his prose, of which he had none.  I mean 0x0 is still 0, dude.  And that very next year in July of 1878, Queen Victoria would be visiting Balmoral Castle in Scotland, a mere walking distance of 60 miles from Dundee.  Yes, William Should've probably hitched a ride or something [...]"

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come listen to this
episode (this episode
is for you)
it's about the
                  man who made
                                 beatniks sound good for
for all of 20 minutes
(20 minutes is what it waS)

ee cummings!

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TW: Child Abuse, Dead Kids;

There's not going to be a sweeter way of going around this rather than saying...  Look, this motherfucker is sad.  Come join us as we laugh off the awkwardness of something that was probably all too common: the slavery of kids not that long ago.  From the forgotten tales of thousands of children, we're lucky enough to be able to see the results from one man, the author of the longest tale ever written, Henry Darger!

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Well if there's one thing we can say about James Joyce, is that he could "smell" success coming a mile away...  It's that he was having a "gas"...  He was-- He...  Look, the man loved farts.  For the minuscule amount of his life that I'm sure he ever mentioned it, James Joyce's kink has filled up like, half the trivia section on his Wikipedia page.  Anyway we're also discussing "Ulysses" so you'll want to be here for that...

Also, at 0:12:19, the audio skips from the beginning of a sentence to the end of it.  Here's what it's supposed to say: "After his little session, Bloom goes to the maternity hospital where the newest addition to the town's population is being born."

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TW: Child Abuse;

The sky opens.

The sun gleans through a break in the clouds.

A trumpet sounds.

It's actually a huge fart.  Anyway here's the first part of James Joyce.

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Come hither!  And listen to the tale of the man behind the story of A-noos, the hero of the "Aeneid", and the writer of the legend itself, Virgil!

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Homer himself won't be too much of a subject here, as he didn't exist, and we still wouldn't know enough about him if we did.  However, you can still listen as we discuss one of the earliest and most batshit stories attributed to him.  Uncap your 40's in honor of every parking lot you ever peed in, it's "The Odyssey"!

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Today we discuss the tale of the great blind poet, Homer!  Or rather the myth.  The rumor?  The strangely sexual gossip of the blind poet, Homer!  Yeah that's better.

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TW: Child Abuse, Pedophilia, Rape, Torture;

For the man who's thought of every perversion possible, where else can you go but torture?  Come here us say "Holy shit" with special guest Sean, a guy we know.  Congratulations, you've made it this far, and for the season finale we've saved the absolute worst for last, the Marquis de Sade!

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You think you're tough?  How many houses have you set on fire for the cause?

Coward.

Anyway, here is the conclusion to the tale of a man who shouldn't be nearly revered as he is for his environmentalism: Edward Abbey!