Twins this week, the hags were both in NY. They saw each other in a hotel lobby and had the burger together. Jacqueline did her workout in-studio for the first time. Is hot water on the face an issue? Kate likes to be witnessed. Functional medicine is on the horizon. Customer service is not dead everywhere. Cold spoons in the eyes. 
 
Edited & mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Call the Tribunal

Wellness is a trillion-dollar industry full of scams and snake oil salesmen but comedians and best friends Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak just can’t get enough. Join them as they try products and practices, consult healers and experts, and ask the ultimate question: is it truly wellness they’re after or just the thrill of the chase?

Comedy

Alternative Health

Health

Health & Fitness

The dream of a communist pharmacist and the control needed to not throw your phone against a wall. Often we must play the role. Driving while engaging the abs and the pride of seeing your daughter on screen. You wanna change your life? You’ll have to move every day, sweetie. Laughter that only the price of flowers can provoke & a mood so good you hold doors open too long. Whether stepping onto a stage or into an elevator, the nerves never go away. The relevancy of the headshot is questioned and a new torso is offered. This is literally the President of the United States of America. Where in film is the Aged Man? Rotten seed. Half plastic, half lead...the alien screaming within you. Mixing up algorithmic forces and fondly remembering the men who sold ice cream and smoothies. Hi babies! Staying up all night for your mental health. Hello???? Guys!?
Respectfully Begging For: Whoop, Apparis, Awan
Brands Mentioned: Rebel Ice Cream, Biodance Bio-Collagen Real Deep Mask
 
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is Not My Friend

This week's episode is a re-airing of a Poog classic: The hags are bubbling over with excitement. Jacqueline wants help with her navicular accessory foot injury, but they discuss: Werner Herzog's Grizzly Man and Cave of Forgotten Dreams, red light therapy, Bonus rooms, Buster Keaton, Tartuffe, and Best Week Ever. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bonus (RE-RELEASE)

Pizza, cherry pie, and the urge to take off running once your table is ready. If Jacqueline enjoyed it yesterday, she wants it again today. Kate is trying as hard as she can. A spider’s glance. Superbills and psychic dreams…do you want to operate at ‘peak’, or do you want to just ‘get by’? Tuesday, overlooked. Jacqueline is leaning on the Lyma, and no outside sources were used whatsoever. The soft serve was disappointing and NYAD RULES. Lip gloss dazzles anew. The way tears change the face. What if this is the beginning of insanity?
Brands mentioned: WHOOP, Pat McGrath, Dr. Loretta, FLOYD, Dr. Dennis Gross
Genuinely Begging for: Goop Kitchen, Perfect Amino
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

My First Rodeo

Sorry, what’s your name? Grinning in a movie theatre bathroom stall, and weeping in the car watching NASA Live. Fascination at the ‘close friends’ of the ultra-famous. Is it Baudrillard or Baudelaire? Applauding celestial bodies and researching kettles. Toothless and tea-less, we need the real moon again. A scratched pan for which no one is to blame and suspicion over a missing spatula. Kate is neglecting the neck and chopping tiny. Texting the Healer’s wife, Jacqueline’s eyebrows are fully f*cking lifted. It’s called stepping into the reality of your life!
Sincerely Begging For: Goop Kitchen, Graza
Brands Mentioned: Lyma, Great Jones, Caraway
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Moon in Your House

Presented with a porous board and sepsis for everyone we've ever met. Suffer not one exception. What is it about 4:10pm on a Friday? A return to herbs and bank culture. The unitard is not sweaty, it’s completely soaked. The dream of Hag Serum and the chore of good TV. Planes are where you do what cannot be done on earth. Upsetting evidence against good habits when the walk doesn’t take. Jacqueline massages her face, Kate sees the sunset and draws the blinds. Getting Max-ed and manicured the Russian way. Confusion at kids buying PDFs. Philosophically good, aesthetically great. The God you don’t believe in... I don’t believe in that God either. It’s time to integrate the shadow. That’s exactly the vibe!
Earnestly Begging For: Hurom, Almond Cow
Brands Mentioned: Purity Vodka, Catbird, KitchenAid, Caraway, Erewhon
Edited and mixed by Allie Graham. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Call the Tribunal

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