Calm And Chaotic Podcast

We love going on tangents lol. From shedding the old you to how we’ve become cynical from social media (lol) to our thoughts and fears on having kids, this episode is full of TANGENTS. Thank you for being here, we appreciate you!!

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Community, friendship and connection are SO important, but when you’re in your 20s/30s/40s, it kinda goes on the bottom of the priority list. We have some HOT TAKES in this episode, but we think we’re just saying what a lot of people are thinking… hopefully? Or are we the odd ones out? Lol. If youre an introvert like Bee or just fed up with people like Jay, we hope this episode makes you feel seen in some capacity!! For some people, like us, it’s a struggle to connect or even want to give your energy to someone new. From men vs women friendships, being an introvert, where to meet people, being socially anxious… we blab about it all.Thank you so much for being here!!

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Let’s yap about greatest life lessons we’ve learned so far, as well as reading some off from the people of reddit! From trusting your gut to the inability to fix people to the life changing effects of gratitude, we cover all the things that have guided us to where we are today. There are lots of one liner gems in this episode, in our humble opinions. We hope to spark some motivation, inspiration or encouragement in your brain!

If you have low self worth and think you don’t deserve to be treated with respect, love, appreciation, and effort, PLEASE listen to this episode. Low self worth comes from somewhere or someone externally. Maybe you’ve lost yourself in a previous relationship, maybe you were always being put down by others and it's turned you into a self conscious shell of yourself. Whatever the case may be, we are here to give you a little boost; a few reminders and encouragement. When you have low self worth, you will accept things that you do not deserve. You won’t prioritize self care and self love because you may think it’s not in the cards for you. This has you operating at a lower vibration, which has only attracted low vibrational partners/friendships. Can you gain confidence even when it feels impossible to find it? Can you find someone who respects your boundaries, treats you like the queen/king that you are? YES. DOUBLE YES.

Breaking ups/divorce are incredibly daunting, difficult things to initiate & deal with. But, if you’re questioning the relationship, unhappy, unfulfilled, missing something etc, it is SO important for your quality of life. It’s so common to want to stay where you're comfortable, but what kind of life is that if happiness is minimal? If you're experiencing unhappiness in your relationship, if you’ve fallen out of love with your partner, if you're hopeful for things to get better in the future one day, we hope this episode lifts you up and gives you the courage to do what’s best for you (and them!!). It’s heavy, it’s not easy detaching yourself from someone you’ve become so intertwined with in every way but, you both deserve mutual unconditional love. Having love for someone vs being in love with someone are separate!! And that alone is more than enough to end the relationship. We chat about our experiences with breakups, in which were all under different circumstances. Thank you guys so much for being here!!!! We love you.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00:00 - Intro

00:00:42 - Struggling to find the courage

00:01:25 - signs that the relationship isn’t for you

00:03:31 - divorce when you have kids

00:07:38 - falling out of love

00:08:38 - what are people going to think?

00:11:13 - Red flags in the beginning

00:15:00 - having the hard conversation

00:17:14 - dating these days

00:19:33 - love vs in love

00:21:50 - honeymoon phase

00:26:40 - not wanting to be around your partner

00:28:32 - the brain wants to stay comfortable

00:29:10 - communicate your conflicted feelings

00:31:24 - honesty is respect

00:32:25 - how to initiate a breakup

00:35:26 - breakup guilt & standing your ground

00:40:40 - breaking up is NORMAL and necessary

00:42:40 - when love isn’t enough

00:45:17 - three types of love

00:50:10 - being treated badly while in love

00:55:32 - when they check all the shallow boxes

00:58:02 - fighting in early relationships

00:59:32 - peace in relationships

01:00:10 - encouragement & outro

HI GUYS!!! Today we yap about how weird we think drinking culture is. Being in our 30s, we are sooo over it. One beer, one cocktail and that’s it (if that). If you have a confusing relationship with the POISON that is alcohol, hopefully this episode makes you feel less alone! It’s become such a staple in social settings for a lot of people, but it doesn’t have to be that way. A shirly temple will do! We share story times, advice, alternatives, and our opinions on drinking culture! If this is a triggering topic for you, please skip this episode 🤍Timestamps:00:00 - intro yap01:57 - drinking in our 20s vs 30s02:49 - our first drink04:52 - liquor allergy05:33 - Js first blackout08:04 - drinking now10:32 - house parties/group settings12:11 - blacking out13:17 - our first New Years together15:10 - drunk vs tipsy17:28 - story times22:55 - weirdness of drinking culture24:49 - the devil’s lettuce28:16 - being pure in our 30s29:21 - ruining the fun32:32 - college drinking35:50 - placebo drinks 37:55 - using it as a crutch41:06 - Staten Island44:30 - pressured to drink?45:25 - normal people

Do you get triggered easily? Find it impossible to control your reactions due to past trauma? We come at this topic from two different experiences. No reaction is the best reaction. No response is the best response. It’s HARD to detach from the power of negative emotion. But, the power of letting them go off while you remain calm is unmatched. Today we dive into the importance of relying on yourself for emotional regulation. Maybe you’re super reactive when you’re triggered, which leads you to disturb your own peace and disrespect your own boundaries. Maybe you experience deep levels of rage and can’t control it, then spiral into self sabotage and self loathing. We talk relationships, miscommunications, understanding yourself better, not relying on others to console you, etc etc!! We hope this episode brings you some clarity and ah-ha moments!!Timestamps:00:00:00 - Trinket of the month00:01:20 - Normal People yap00:04:41 - Regulating your emotions00:05:43 - being reactive in relationships00:08:37 - impulsivity from anger00:09:46 - Feeding off of negative reaction00:16:09 - you’re not nagging, they’re just not listening00:16:49 - when you’re in an argument00:19:50 - regulating your OWN emotions00:22:36 - ego and pride00:25:35 - the energy of emotions (anger)00:29:07 - not reacting + letting go of anger00:32:05 - speaking each other’s love language 00:39:51 - the type of scrolling you do00:40:42 - negative comments online00:49:45 - road rage story time01:00:02 - no consequences 01:01:05 - the let them theory01:03:46 - toxic aggression & control01:08:19 - middle school bullying story 01:10:30 - standing your ground is POWERFUL01:14:43 - wrap up

HI GUYS!!! What the honk is up? This episode is a change of pace from our usual lol, a bit more aggressive as we read through some reddit threads on people’s biggest pet peeves in dating, pet peeves in other people, people’s grossest and strangest habits. We hope to bring you some giggles today!

Let’s blab about self concept. How do you see yourself? What are your core beliefs when it comes to yourself? Some of them can be holding you back because you’ve been holding onto them for too long, leading you to identify and believe your negative thoughts.

HI RATS!!! Criticism from others… let’s talk about it! The fear of judgment is sometimes the number one thing that holds us back. Allow us to hold your paw and remind you that no one else is going to experience YOUR life except for you, so you may as well do whatever the HONK you want. Of course that’s easier said than done, so we hope to provide you with some motivation, encouragement, mindset shifts, etc so you can finally start living for yourself!!!!! Because guess what? People are going to judge you no matter what you do, so you may as well just do it for the sake of your own happiness and quality of life.