Calm Your Caveman

Emotions are contagious, but that doesn’t mean you have to get swept up every time someone around you spirals. In this episode, we dig into the science of emotional contagion, why your nervous system syncs with others, and a practical mindset shift that lets you step back, see the bigger picture, and respond with intention.

You’ll Learn:

• Why emotions spread like wildfire (and how our brains are wired to catch them).
• The difference between direct and indirect ways emotions shape our stories.
• A simple “once upon a time” phrase that creates instant emotional distance.
• Real-life examples of breaking free from mirroring anger, stress, or fear.
• How practice turns this high-effort skill into a reliable tool when you need it most.

Timestamps:

00:30 – Why other people’s emotions feel like they take over your own
03:17 – Direct vs. indirect ways to change your emotions
06:31 – Client story: irritation that shows up every time he leaves the house
10:39 – Client story: parenting stress and family emotional escalation
13:32 – Client story: catastrophizing and conflict
17:09 – How to practice emotional differentiation
19:03 – Kindness narrative: A friend sharing time and attention

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stop-absorbing-everyone-else’s-stress

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Too many anxiety tools, not sure which to use? In this episode, I’ll teach you a simple 2-step rule  to match the right tool to your stress level. You’ll learn why big anxiety doesn’t require big strategies—it requires easy, low-thinking tools—and how to build a personalized toolbox that grows more effective the more you practice. 

You’ll learn how to:

• Quickly rate the intensity of your anxiety
• Match strategies to your anxiety level with confidence
• Turn once “hard” tools into automatic go-to’s
• Expand your toolbox so you’re never stuck without options

Timestamps

• 00:30 – Why one-size-fits-all doesn’t work for anxiety
• 02:01 – The two-step process: measure, then match
• 02:51 – Why high anxiety needs easy tools
• 04:36 – My top “easy tools” for intense moments
• 05:54 – Making harder tools automatic through practice
• 09:42 – Building your personal “easy list”
• 10:37 – How to practice new strategies before you need them
• 11:51 – How to measure your anxiety
• 15:03– Summary and key takeaways
• 17:10 – Little acts of kindness add up

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/stop-choosing-the-wrong-coping-strategy

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Anxiety leaves us frozen. Anger makes us feel powerful. But when fear turns to fury, the long-term costs are high. Here’s how to spot the pattern and rewrite the story before it harms your health or your relationships.

You’ll Learn:

• What’s really happening when anxiety flips to anger
• Why venting and suppressing don’t actually help
• Practical ways to turn anger into fuel for growth

Timestamps

• 00:30 – Why anxiety turns into anger (and often backfires)
• 03:53 – Why regulating is better than venting or suppressing
• 05:55 – Story: Anger that fuels new opportunities
• 09:11 – Story: Marriage conflict, and uncovering unmet needs
• 11:24 – Story: Bypass the anxiety-anger trap
• 12:03 – Summary: How to claim power without attacking
• 13:48 – Kindness narrative: the last puzzle piece

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/why-anger-feels-better-than-anxiety-and-what-to-do-instead

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

When the world feels like it’s falling apart, your brain might need a new lens. Shift from threat mode to challenge mode—and watch your energy come back to life. Learn three ways to reframe your outlook, move out of threat mode, and tap into a more hopeful, energized version of yourself. Because when your future looks brighter, your present feels lighter.

What You’ll Learn

• Why your appraisal of the future affects your energy, health, and emotions now
• How zooming out with history can reframe today’s problems
• Why collecting stories of kindness fuels hope and resilience
• A mental trick to comfort yourself in hard times

Timestamps:
00:30 – The toll of threat mindset on body, energy, and mood
03:17 – Why the future you imagine shapes the present you live
06:07 – Strategy #1: Zooming out with history
12:46 – Strategy #2: Collecting stories of a global “army of good”
14:09 – Strategy #3: Letting your future self comfort your present self
16:51 – Kindness Narrative: A dirty, hungry man meets kind strangers

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-the-world-feels-doomed

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Feeling stressed? What if the fastest way out was through your eyes? In this episode, I’ll teach you a quick 10-second exercise that uses your vision to flip bad stress into good stress. You’ll learn why when anxiety hits, your world shrinks -- your eyes go into tunnel vision and your mind locks into achieving awareness, obsessing over control and what you don’t have. But there’s another mode available. Awakened awareness—the mental counterpart to panoramic vision—that helps you regain perspective, spark insight, and stop anxiety from running the show. Discover how to toggle between these two modes so you can stay focused without getting stuck, and calm without losing your drive.

What You’ll Learn:

• The surprising link between your eyes and your emotions
• Why tunnel vision = fight-or-flight (and what that does to your brain)
• How panoramic vision cues safety and calm in just seconds
• The mental counterparts: achieving awareness vs. awakened awareness
• Practical ways to rebalance if you’re stuck in “overachieve and control” mode

Timestamps:
[00:30] Why your eyes might hold the key to stress relief
[04:23] The power of panoramic vision: a 10-second reset
[07:11] How vision influences emotion—and vice versa
[08:54] Beyond the eyes: achieving vs. awakened awareness 
[13:31] Meditation, yoga, and everyday practices for awakened awareness
[16:18] My personal “Sabbath moments” for panoramic awareness
[19:56] Kindness narrative: getting lost, asking for help, and discovering generosity

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-see-more-and-stress-less

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Anxiety tricks us into believing more thinking equals more control—but often, it just keeps us stuck. In this conversation, I talk with coach Jaime about how to reframe problems, why insights often show up when you stop overthinking, and how simple practices can help you access clarity.

What You’ll Learn
•How to spot when anxiety is just your thoughts talking
•The difference between a “problem” and a “puzzle”
•Why insights often show up in the shower
•How focus mode and diffused mode work in the brain
•Simple practices to quiet your mind and spark clarity

Timestamps:
[00:30] Introduction to Jaime Schettini
[02:00] Seeing thought as thought (not reality)
[05:56] Problems vs. puzzles: shifting perspective to ease fear
[07:19] Trusting the Insight Process
[11:27] Focus mode vs. diffused mode: where breakthroughs really happen
[15:22] Practical Tips for Entering the Diffused Mode
[19:38] Kindness Narrative: Saved from drowning by a stranger 

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/the-overthinking-trap-with-jaime-schettini

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

When someone you love is drowning in negativity, it’s hard not to get pulled under too. In this episode, you’ll learn three practical, science-backed strategies to keep your emotional balance and be a positive influence—without burning out. Through a real-life coaching example, discover how to:

• Stay in your own lane (and why that’s the most loving thing you can do)
• Shift the story in your head to shift your emotions
• Build an “emotional immune system” so you can stay steady even in stormy moods

Timestamps:
00:30 Understanding Emotional Contagion
01:15 Client Case Study: Allison's Struggle
03:20 Key 1: Stay in Your Zone
07:05 Key 2: Shift Your Story
14:55 Key 3: Nurture Your Peace
19:09 Kindness Narrative: Saved from overwhlem by kind neighbors

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-someone-you-love-is-in-a-funk

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Terrified of messing up? In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on how a growth mindset helped me face the fear of failure. It’s a masterclass in quieting your inner critic, growing your resilience, and making imperfect things anyway.

We’ll talk about:
•Why perfectionism is the ultimate creativity killer
•The neuroscience behind growth vs. fixed mindsets
•5 specific ways to train your brain to be okay with mistakes
•My favorite reframes that got me through the hard parts
•Why coaching yourself in third person actually works
•How feedback turned into fuel

Timestamps
[00:00:30] Fixed vs. growth mindset: what’s the difference?
[00:02:52] Can you train your mindset? Yes—here’s how
[00:05:31] 1: Expect mistakes
[00:07:00] 2: Be okay with half-baked
[00:08:57] 3: Shrink your view
[00:10:15] 4: Coach yourself from the outside in
[00:13:10] 5: Harvset the feedback
[00:18:26] Kindness narrative: A homeless man shares all he has

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/5-ways-to-beat-fear-of-failure

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

Feeling irritated but don’t want to be? In this episode, I coach a client through two real-life situations and teach a simple but powerful framework: the 3 hidden questions your brain is answering that shape your emotions. Change your answers, change how you feel. A must-listen if you're tired of being hijacked by annoyance, especially with the people closest to you.

Timestamps:
00:56 – An inheritance disagreement story
02:50 – The 3 questions your brain is always answering (and how they fuel emotion)
04:26 – How Katie changed her story—and her feelings
07:33 – A stolen chocolate story
09:02 – Going under the surface: What Katie’s brain was really saying
10:34 – How reframing her answers changed everything
14:28 – Practical tips for reappraising emotions when you’re triggered
17:13 – Kindness Narrative: When kindness diffused annoyance

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stop-feeling-irritated-without-pretending-youre-fine

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com

When anxiety won’t budge, it might be time to listen instead of fight. In this episode, we unpack a tool called anxiety curiosity—a method that works when nothing else does. Turns out, your anxiety might be running on outdated software.
You’ll learn how to:
Spot when anxiety is rooted in childhood beliefs
Talk to the part of you that’s reacting like it’s still a kid
Use your “wise self” to separate signal from noise
I’ll walk you through a real example from my own experience with performance anxiety—and how digging into the mental archive changed everything.

Timestamps
00:30 – Introducing “anxiety curiosity”
02:58 – Anxiety as a time traveler: when your brain is stuck in the past
06:47 – A case study from the piano bench
11:38 – Reframing through the eyes of your adult self
17:11 – Kindness narrative: An attentive scout master

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:
Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you. Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/what-your-inner-child-is-still-panicking-about

Send us Fan Mail

🌐 https://www.calmyourcaveman.com