Calm Your Caveman

Feeling bored or drained by your job?  In today’s episode, we explore three science-backed strategies to transform even the most mundane work into something meaningful, interesting, and motivating. Drawing on research from psychologist Todd Kashdan and the science of curiosity, you’ll learn easy, doable ways to change your emotional experience at work, increase wellbeing, boost focus, and make your daily tasks feel lighter instead of suffocating. 

⏱️ Timestamps 
00:30 — Why safety + growth are both essential for wellbeing at work
01:57 — Strategy #1: Look for novelty in the familiar
07:00 — Strategy #2: Add challenge or “gamify” the task
10:15 — Strategy #3: Connect work to your values (your “why”)
13:36 — Recap: 3 ways to transform mundane tasks

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stop-hating-your-work

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Can long-term love really stay exciting, vibrant, and surprising — even decades in? The answer from global wellbeing research is a clear yes. In this episode we dig into the science behind what keeps long-term relationships emotionally alive, deeply connected, and resilient over time.

You’ll learn:
✨ The two strongest predictors of daily wellbeing,
✨ Why great relationships need both security and growth
✨ Three science-backed habits that help couples stay curious, connected, and fulfilled for decades

If you’ve ever wondered how to avoid the “seven-year itch,” reignite passion, or strengthen your bond, this episode offers practical, research-based tools you can start using today.

⏱️ Timestamps
00:30 — Why people believe long-term love fades
01:02 — What 130,000 people taught researchers about wellbeing
02:28 — The two psychological needs that shape all relationships: security and growth
03:35 — How long-term couples keep relationships alive
04:43 — The first habit: Seeing your partner as a “foreign country”
09:25 — The second habit: Doing new things together
10:58 — The third habit: Adding new variables (other people, situations)
12:35 — Summary: Bringing security + learning into relationships
14:55 — Kindness narrative: a neighbor reaches out

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-stay-in-love-for-the-long-haul

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Do your goals ever feel so big that you end up not taking any action at all? In this episode, we break down how to turn your values into action — with three simple questions that make your goals actually doable. Learn how to stop drifting, avoid overwhelm, and start moving in the direction that matters most to you — one small, realistic step at a time. You don’t have to reach the destination to feel fulfilled — the progress itself changes your brain, boosts resilience, and reduces anxiety.

We’ll walk through:

• Why small, easy steps matter more than big leaps
• How to use the “3-step goal-setting method” to keep momentum
• What to do when discomfort shows up on your way toward growth
• Why meaningful goals—not perfect ones—lead to lasting wellbeing

🕒 Timestamps 

00:30 — Why living by your values changes everything
02:44 — From values to action: the benefits of making tiny goals
04:43 — The biggest mistake people make when setting goals
05:53 —  “Mike” applies the 3 questions that turn values into momentum
08:33 — What to do when discomfort shows up
10:16 — The 3 questions to make your goals work for your peace of mind 
11:58 — Kindness narrative: A librarian’s lasting impact

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/three-steps-to-fix-overwhelming-goals

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Looking for happiness in all the wrong places? This episode introduces three clear rules that expose where most of us get stuck when we try to find fulfillment. Through vivid coaching stories and examples, Adriana shows how to uncover what truly drives you and why aligning your actions with your values brings peace, meaning, and resilience — even when goals feel far away. 

You’ll learn:

• Why the values that truly sustain happiness are actions, not feelings
• How to spot “dead person goals” that masquerade as values
• How to reclaim agency when your happiness depends on what other people do

Timestamps

00:30 — Why happiness fades when we chase feelings.
02:29 — Rule #1: Values are actions, not emotions (Eva’s story).
05:15 — Rule #2: Values are for the living, not “dead person goals” (David’s story).
07:30 — Rule #3: Values are what you do, not what others do (Mike’s story).
08:59 — Direction vs. destination: the “heading west” metaphor.
10:34 — Viktor Frankl and meaning in tragedy.
11:27 — Why focus — not circumstance — defines happiness.
14:15 — Kindness narrative: Help from a neighbor.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/the-3-rules-of-real-fulfillment

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You can’t out-think your emotions — but you can change your relationship with them. In this episode, I share a simple exercise that helps you stop fighting uncomfortable feelings and start making space for them instead. Pursuing a meaningful life doesn’t mean you’ll feel good all the time, it means learning to coexist with discomfort without letting it control you. This episode will show you how calm starts not by pushing feelings away, but by welcoming them home.

Key insights:

• Every emotion in you is a child. Some loud, some quiet. None of them deserves to be cast out
• Chronic emotions are just feelings that never got permission to pass
• You don’t have to like your feelings. You just have to make room for them.

Timestamps

00:30 — Why a meaningful life includes uncomfortable emotions.
01:51 — Writing exercise: listing and acknowledging all the emotional “children.”
05:31 — Why rejecting emotions makes them stronger and more dominant.
07:25 — Kindness narrative: Gifts from an architect.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/parent-your-feelings-dont-punish-them

Submit Your Kindness Narrative:

• Share a moment of kindness that moved you or changed you.
• Email your story (written or audio) to [email protected] or
• DM me on Instagram @CalmYourCaveman.

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Are your emotions trying to help you — or just hijacking your day? In this episode, we break down a clear, science-backed way to know when to trust your emotions and when to let them pass like weather.

You'll learn:
• Why emotions aren’t commands, they’re information
• How to uncover what matters more than how you feel in the moment
• A practical framework for deciding whether to act, or simply observe
• Why you don't need to wait to feel better in order to start living your life

Timestamps
00:30 — The core question: Should I act on this emotion or not?
02:00 — Why chasing happiness backfires.
03:18 — What research says produces real well-being.
04:40 — Values vs. feelings: the powerful “If fear weren’t an issue…” questions.
06:52 — When to ride the emotion vs. when to wait and watch.
09:10  — Kindness narrative: Money just in time.

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/when-to-trust-your-emotions

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We all tell ourselves, “I’ll be happy when…” — when the job changes, when the move happens, when life finally clicks into place. But what if you didn’t have to wait? In this episode, I share a powerful exercise to build agency, reduce anxiety, and support both mental and physical health. You’ll learn how to find meaning in the middle of uncertainty, feel grounded before the outcome arrives, and start living the life you want — right now, not “someday.”

🔑 Key Ideas
•Happiness based on future achievements keeps you stuck in dissatisfaction.
•Values, unlike goals, are ongoing directions—not destinations.
•Acting according to values (even in small ways) provides immediate fulfillment.
•Use the question “I’ll be happy when…” to uncover what truly matters most.

Timestamps:
00:30 — The “I’ll be happy when” mindset.
01:41 — What psychology research teaches about real fulfillment.
02:18 — Goals vs. values: the key difference.
03:44 — Story of Jeff: I’ll be happy when I’m rich.
06:59 — My story: I’ll be happy when I move.
11:37 — How to feel fulfillment today.
14:18 — Kindness narrative: Caring for the overlooked

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/stop-postponing-happiness

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When the world feels divided, our anxiety often rises with it. Whether it’s political polarization, tense family discussions, or social media arguments, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and helpless. But division is, at its core, an emotional problem — and that means we can work with it emotionally.

In this episode, we explore two powerful mindset shifts that can help you move from tension to constructive connection. You’ll learn how empathy and perspective-taking can calm anxiety and open doors for real understanding, even when others seem impossible to reach.

👉 Subscribe for more science-based tools for emotional mastery, anxiety recovery, and inner peace.

Timestamps:

00:30 – Intro: Why tension and division create anxiety
01:31 – The story of The King with Six Friends
09:37 – The first lesson: Seeing needs instead of judging behavior
10:58 – The second lesson: How differences expand our problem-solving power
12:02 – Applying these insights to modern social and political conflicts

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/emotional-survival-skills-for-polarized-times

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We’ve all had feelings we wish we could erase. The harder we try to push these emotions away, the stronger they often come back. In this episode, I share two powerful concepts that can shift the way you relate to unwanted emotions. Instead of resisting them, you’ll learn how to recognize the hidden ways your feelings are trying to protect you—and how to move forward in line with your values, even when those emotions linger.

🎧 This is a practical, compassionate approach for anyone tired of fighting with their own inner world.

You’ll Learn:

• Why your most uncomfortable emotions are actually attempts to protect you
• A simple two-step process to observe your feelings without magnifying them
• How to align your choices with your deeper values, even when emotions resist

Timestamps

• 00:30 — What happens when we fight unwanted emotions
• 02:11 —Step 1: Reframe “Everything inside you wants to save your life
• 07:46 — Step 2: Action “How will I wish I had lived this day?”
• 09:55 — Putting it all together: Embrace your demons and follow your heart
• 16:06 — Kindness Narrative: A generous old man at the right moment

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/what-to-do-with-unwanted-feelings

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Struggling to break old habits or feel stuck in anxiety? In this episode we dive into the brain science of neuroplasticity and why discomfort is the key to lasting change. Discover how your brain rewires itself under stress, how “no pain, no gain” applies to mental growth, and practical ways to use discomfort to reduce anxiety and build resilience.

You’ll learn how to: 

• Use discomfort as a trigger for rewiring.
• Shift default anxious habits into resilience.

Timestamps:

00:30 – Why lasting change feels hard as an adult
03:16 – Discomfort as a biological trigger for rewiring
06:56 – How illness forced my brain to change
10:19 – Rewiring by choice: Overcoming social anxiety
12:54 – Why habit change is so hard (and how to work with your biology)
14:08 – Two reasons to welcome hard things
16:18 – Kindness Narrative: An attentive nurse

For full shownotes, including resources mentioned, go to: https://www.calmyourcaveman.com/episodes/how-to-get-your-brain-to-change-itself

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