Candour Communication Podcast

You can learn more about your hosts, Mark and Divan, at: https://candourpodcast.com/about/your-hosts. 

0:00:28 - influencing people who don't report to me: from Bonus Episode "Mark and Divan on why interpersonal communication matters" . 

0:00:35 – I thought that was it: from Bonus Episode "Mark and Divan on why interpersonal communication matters". 

0:00:50 – rather be authentic and vulnerable: from Bonus Episode "Mark and Divan on why interpersonal communication matters". 

0:01:06 – speaking a different language: from Bonus Episode "Mark and Divan on why interpersonal communication matters". 

0:01:15 - "Communication is the most important skill for life", Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. 

0:01:39 – why communication is important: from Episode 14,  Dr Timothy Levine on deception: Truth-Default Theory, spotting liars and how not to be wrongfully convicted . 

0:02:37 – I forgave the man who murdered my mother: from Episode 10, Dr Everett Worthington on promoting forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland. 

0:02:45 – your weakness if your greatest strength in waiting: from Episode 11, Greg Van Borssum on Happy Feet, Mad Max and the road to fulfilment. 

0:03:13 – email is banned:  from Episode 11, Greg Van Borssum on Happy Feet, Mad Max and the road to fulfilment. 

0:03:16 – focus on your big toes: from Episode 24, Daisy Simonis on introversion and people skills (and how these relate to your big toes). 

0:03:38 – left on a doorstep: from Episode 1, Grant Herbert on the foundation of emotional intelligence, being yourself and training mini-me's. 

0:04:45 – empathy is understanding other people's mental models: from Episode 28, Daniel Murray on the business case for empathy. 

0:05:57 – touch the soul of a person by asking about something as simple as food: from Episode 8, Ricardo Gonzalez on cultural mastery, a conversation that will touch your soul. 

2:52 - is it normal to smile when you see a video of someone smiling?

4:14 - mirror neurons (see video clip).

7:57 - how to be the baby whisperer.

9:03 - the hardware and software of empathy.

12:51 - empathy is not standing in someone else's shoes.

17:45 - empathy is a capacity.

20:17 - empathy is a tool. It's not good or bad.

23:08 - empathy is not getting in the hole with the person.

26:56 - how empathy impacts relationships.

31:47 - what if we're not in an empathetic state of mind?

33:13 - the hardest thing to do is to listen (see video clip).

36:31 - helping people solve their own problems.

38:25 - listening requires patience.

38:55 - helping someone learn a lesson for themselves is much more powerful than simply teaching.

42:29 - human beings are designed to be insecure.

45:55 - confidence and self-esteem.

47:06 - narcissism.

49:41 - can a narcissist be helped?

52:18 - being in a relationship with a narcissist (see video clip).

58:25 - directional empathy.

01:02:49 - how can couples navigate life changes together.

01:06:18 - Trusting your partner to have your back.

01:10:3 - how to find the right partner.

01:11:18 - the Van Gogh problem.

01:12:37 - confidence and self-esteem.

01:16:38 - how to build confidence when you are failing.

01:19:34 - connect with Ashok.

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-ashok-bhattacharya/

1:34 - what drew Belinda to HR.

3:17 - what people skills did the mentor notice?

4:58 - where did love for people come from?

6:37 - connecting with people who are not like you.

10:12 - HR doesn't manage people but they have to influence.

12:41 - hiring the right people.

16:32 - getting to know your people.

21:25 - what makes good leadership.

26:51 - bringing your full self to work.

33:26 - what is culture.

34:23 - our actions can impact culture - even unintentionally.

41:07 - people don't come to work to do a bad job.

46:57 - self-care for leaders.

50:04 - communicating expectations can reduce the team's stress.

51:16 - change management and communicating restructures.

57:54 - performance management.

1:01:24 - caring about people vs the business.

1:06:21 - Get in touch with Belinda.

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/belinda-winter/

1:57 - background in mathematics, banking and insurance.  

5:35 - some factors were missing.    

9:27 - what factors made the difference?  

11:30 - how to convince sceptics of value of people skills.  

17:58 - what non-profits teaches about motivation and leadership.  

23:27 - why did empathy stand out as a skill?  

26:34 - judgement and assumptions.  

28:46 - how to practice empathy.  

32:30 - empathy doesn’t mean you don’t make tough decisions.  

33:48 - empathy does not require you to feel the emotions.  

36:10 - a tool to help be more empathetic.  

37:00 - an example of empathy in action.  

43:55 - how empathy helps product design.  

44:45 - how does empathy help individual contributor at work?  

46:05 - shaping workplace culture.  

48:30 - accused of not empathising?  

50:00 - taking empathy too far.  

52:50 - a story about resilience.  

57:00 - empathy enables diversity.  

58:19 - one act of kindness can impact a life.  

1:01:27 - get in touch with Daniel. 

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/daniel-murray/

1:50 - drawn to interpersonal communication because it was so broad.

3:01 - communication applied to organ donation conversations.

4:55 - communication needs to be audience-centred.

6:22 - your audience can have very diverse beliefs and opinions.

7:47 - you are not your audience.

11:24 - how shows like Greys Anatomy shapes perception about organ donation.

15:27 - reading your audience without making assumptions.

20:39 - best way to approach sensitive conversation.

22:03 - perception checking. Did they understand what you said?

23:50 - sharing embarrassing stories to make you more approachable.

26:08 - more ways to do perception checking.

28:26 - different ways to get our point across.

30:28 - value judgements vs observation.

32:52 - importance of emotional intelligence in these conversations.

34:49 - how stories impact organ donations.

37:54 - health communication during COVID.

40:05 - humility vs confidence in communication.

42:48 - What is InnoQuest?

43:50 - Sunday Funday experiences.

49:33 - InnoQuest's impact on how cities are perceived.

51:32 - getting below the surface of the place you are visiting.

53:02 - importance of trying new things.

56:04 - getting in touch with Ashley.

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-ashley-fico/

00:01:58 – wanted to be an actor from a young age.  

00:04:04 – the art of acting vs the appeal of being famous.  

00:06:58 – acting develops empathy and other soft skills.  

00:10:58 – dealing with big personalities.  

00:13:50 – most actors are introverts.  

00:17:08 – most important skills for good acting.  

00:23:44 – how to use the actor's toolkit at networking events.  

00:27:46 – mission behind teaching acting to children.  

00:34:05 – Cathlyn gave up her apartment to keep serving students.  

00:39:41 – called greedy despite being homeless to keep pricing affordable.  

00:50:43 – copywriting advice for written communication.  

00:56:21 – writing good hooks while avoiding click-bait.  

00:58:50 – swipe file to save good copy.  

01:00:21 – learning how to become a better writer.  

01:04:45 – connect with Cathlyn. 

More detailed show notes with  links to references can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/cathlyn-melvin/

2:27 - Using "busy" to describe how you are doing.

4:28 - are we really more busy now?

7:18 - is obsession with busy cross-cultural?

8:27 - impact of COVID on being busy.

11:40 - addicted to busy.

14:01 - sleep is usually sacrificed when we feel busy.

15:58 - what are we busy doing?

17:48 - shifting our mindset from efficient to effective.

22:06 - I don't have time for this!

24:49 - being on the other end of busy.

30:06 - saying "no" to focus on your priorities.

33:19 - improving communication about urgency of tasks.

36:37 - people pleasing is one of 8 types of busy.

39:45 - how to get better at saying "no".

43:29 - your loved ones pay the price of your people pleasing.

46:16 - how to avoid micro managing people.

49:26 - delegating vs protecting team from overload.

55:09 - transition from technical expert to managing people.

59:01 - focus on strengths or weaknesses?

1:01:10 - story of "busy Gary".

1:04:35 - fear of judgement is what keeps us busy.

1:06:59 - connect with Julie.

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/julie-hyde/

2:16 - NATO.

6:54 - what NATO looks for in candidates.

10:01 - what is social engineering.

10:30 - how to get a free business class upgrade.

13:28 - can you learn social engineering?

15:53 - separate the behaviour from the person.

17:54 - observations instead of value judgements.

22:15 - how emotional intelligence relates to cybersecurity

30:03 - what is emotional intelligence.

33:07 - we construct emotions with the stories we tell ourselves.

37:57 - many variables impacting emotional intelligence.

44:59 - the benefits of role play for training.

51:11 - protecting yourself and your family from cyber criminals.

57:07 - How to practice empathy.

1:00:54 - type of training Nadja does.

1:04:22 - some marriage advice.

1:05:15 - don't blame others for how you feel.

1:06:42 - hold space so other people can talk.

1:07:19 - connect with Nadja.

You find more detailed show notes with links to references at: https://candourpodcast.com/nadja-el-fertasi/

02:04 - role of sport in Christian's life.  

07:21 - rejected for sports journalism.  

09:13 - pursued career at Nike.  

13:48 - was is a dream come true in reality?  

18:34 - Am I giving up or is this the right time for me?  

22:39 - impact of a good manager.  

24:54 - being authentic.  

26:48 - fear of failure (and startups).  

36:38 - feeling light to guide your decisions.  

40:57 - how to feel more light?  

48:30 - people who annoy us say more about us than about them.  

52:58 - being a mirror and giving feedback.  

56:40 - entrepreneurs of life.  

58:20 - feedback vs advice.  

01:01:16 - why do we feel the need to give advice?  

01:04:00 - creating safe space for giving feedback.  

01:06:24 - receiving feedback.  

01:09:24 - feedback without hurting people's feelings.  

01:10:51 - live feedback example.  

01:14:44 - getting to the heart of the matter.  

01:19:30 - people find the answers within themselves.  

01:28:36 - connect with Christian. 

More detailed show notes with links to references can be found here: https://candourpodcast.com/christian-fleck/