Candour Communication Podcast

2:30 - how Greg got into martial arts.

3:30 - how Bob Paris inspired Greg to become the National Body Building champion.

5:04 - we don't have to be limited by what people say about us.

6:14 - the example we set can change lives.

6:30 - Greg's grandfather won the Military Medal in WWI.

7:08 - the remarkable example Greg's grandmother set.

8:48 - the importance of believing in someone's potential.

9:08 - we need to start going towards what we're scared of.

9:57 - your fear is your greatest strength in waiting.

11:16 - kids need to be taught their family history.

12:32 - reaching your goals.

13:28 - two greatest assets: naivity and stupidity.

14:07 - said yes to Happy Feet with zero prior experience.

14:55 - Leadership is easy: leadership is care.

16:20 - turning around a toxic culture.

16:44 - there is an "I" in "TEAM".

17:55 - lack of communication kills a team.

18:20 - Greg banned emails!

19:24 - if I find you blaming someone you're off the film

19:35 - literally breaking down the barriers to communication.

20:10 - team bonded by playing together.

21:52 - ego makes you an ineffective leader.

23:46 - focus is the key to achieving goals.

26:18 - be a spiky person.

26:52 - the employment world needs to be turned on its head.

28:00 - you need to take time to understand people to get the best out of them.

29:23 - training people and building confidence.

31:22 - the cost of success.

32:03 - how a near death experience changed Greg's life mission.

34:18 - Greg became an accredited speaker to help others.

37:07 - how Greg became an advocate for mental health.

40:39 - protecting his family from his struggles was Greg's stupid moment.

41:42 - you feel like you're not a man if you talk about this stuff.

42:12 - I did not know if I was coming home.

43:35 - Greg started learning public speaking after he started giving keynotes.

44:15 - Greg's aim is now to go global to change lives.

44:33 - how do we help people when they are struggling?

45:10 - do something!

46:05 - clinically proven: a hug can change someone's entire day.

46:10 - 30 minutes of excercise gives 12 hours of better brain health.

46:19 - don't put off seeing someone who is struggling.

46:26 - us, we, together.

46:55 - don't just give them a number and move on.

47:21 - everyone's been through stuff.

47:51 - life doesn't always fire a warning shot.

48:56 - the signs that someone is struggling.

49:32 - suicide survivors want to live.

50:12 - help yourself before trying to help others.

51:12 - what is strength really?

52:12 - chase fulfillment, not success.

52:35 - strength doesn't focus on what you can't do. Focus on what you can do.

53:01 - everyone has the internal battle, but we've got to get up and move on anyway.

53:28 - keep a journal.

54:24 - training to overcome the fear of public speaking.

55:13 - use your time to invest in people.

55:40 - redirecting bad forces for good.

56:30 - importance of being able to detach.

58:18 - it's our responsibility to reach in to help them out.

59:18 - don't worry about saying the right things. Have the right heart.

01:00:34 - the signs are in the body language.

01:01:58 - R U OK is not good enough.

01:02:34 - being a good person.

01:02:55 - we need to unify to fight against mental health.

01:03:36 - the human factor is always needed.

01:04:34 - chasing success leaves no space to help others.

01:05:42 - the small things are the big things.

01:06:34 - going back to old high school.

01:07:58 - people in our life shape us.

01:08:44 - get in touch with Greg.

01:09:33 - final thanks.

You can find more detailed show notes with links to references at 
https://candourpodcast.com/greg-van-borssum/

2:12 - started as a nuclear engineer.

3:14 - Ev's mission is to do all I can to promote forgiveness in every willing heart, home and homeland.

4:16 - why is forgiveness so important to you?

6:01 - why is forgiveness so hard?

8:05 - what causes hurt.

9:28 - what is justice.

10:07 - both revenge and reconciliation is required for survival.

11:00 - the consequences of holding onto a grudge.

12:04 - spiritual consequences of holding onto grudges.

12:18 - mental health consequences of grudges.

13:33 - impact on physical health.

15:54 - does forgiveness let the other person off the hook?

16:30 - two types of forgiveness.

17:38 - you can forgive too early.

17:56 - you can both forgive and hold them accountable.

18:17 - the hardest thing Ev has forgiven.

18:43 - there are some things that I just don't think I can forgive.

19:10 - all events are forgivable.

19:18 - injustice gaps.

20:23 - forgiveness is not the only way to deal with injustice.

21:23 - REACH forgiveness model.

22:03 - R: Recall the hurt.

22:32 - E: Empathise.

23:32 - A: Altruistic gift. Forgiveness is not something anyone deserves.

24:11 - C: Commit

24:21 - H: Hold onto the commitment to forgive when I doubt.

24:51 - feeling angry doesn't mean you haven't forgiven.

25:46 - repeat offenders.

27:35 - Christian view on forgiveness.

28:16 - applying the empathy step of REACH.

29:46 - what to do when we're the offender.

30:31 - make it right with what you hold sacred.

30:51 - make it right with the person.

31:12 - CONFESS model for the offender.

31:26 - C: Confess without excuse.

31:47 - O: Offer an apology.

31:59 - N: Note the other person's pain.

32:09 - F: Forever value the person.

32:35 - E: Equalize.

32:46 - S: Say 'never again'.

32:58 - S: Seek forgiveness.

33:19 - make it right psychologically with yourself.

33:46 - use REACH to forgive yourself.

34:29 - hardest step: accept myself.

34:56 - struggle with self acceptance is what keeps psychotherapists in business.

35:12 - last step: live virtuously.

35:22 - Ev's personal experience with self forgiveness.

40:59 - it's hardest to help the people closest to us.

43:13 - helping a country to forgive: contribution in South Africa after Apartheid.

45:39 - difference between personal and group forgiveness.

48:00 - the difference one person can make through forgiveness.

48:20 - forgiveness research has taken off in recent years due to international need for reconciliation.

49:54 - the role humility plays in forgiveness.

50:19 - what humility actually is.

53:35 - free resources for forgiveness and humility.

53:44 - how to get in touch with Ev.

54:25 - final thank you.

More detailed show notes with links and references can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-everett-worthington/

2:33 - why transition from Fortune 500 executive to research?
3:17 - relationships were the secret sauce in success.
4:22 - initial interest was in anxiety in the workplace.
4:54 - came across curiosity while studying mindfulness.
5:51 - what is curiosity?
6:56 - curiosity gives psychological, emotional and social flexibility.
7:53 - not "if" but "how" you are curious.
9:28 - curiosity can show up in different ways.
10:08 - we pre-asses before exploring the unknown.
11:11 - curiosity is active exploration.
11:32 - curiosity requires openness.
12:11 - the different facets of curiosity.
12:37 - it's ok to not know something.
13:04 - active exploration and immersion.
13:20 - openness means letting go of the familiar.
13:42 - it's not always joyful exploration.
13:57 - curiosity requires stress tolerance.
14:22 - the facets of openness and stress tolerance are most beneficial to workplace.
14:47 - relationship between curiosity and humility.
14:59 - curiosity requires vulnerability.
15:53 - to feel more free we have to feel more exposed.
16:02 - curiosity and anxiety.
17:50 - how not knowing creates psychological safety.
19:56 - using curiosity to become an approachable boss.
20:29 - you cannot get to empathy without curiosity.
21:57 - curiosity is what allows us to make people feel understood.
22:31 - use curiosity to question the stories we tell ourselves about others.
24:11 - how can we become more curious?
25:43 - curiosity starts within.
26:17 - how curiosity can make us more authentic.
28:15 - counting the cost of curiosity.
29:41 - what is psychological safety.
29:52 - obstacles to curiosity.
31:26 - how curiosity research has changed Alison.
33:27 - creating a culture of curiosity.
34:23 - conformity is bad for curiosity and wellbeing.
34:53 - creating environments of psychological safety.
35:56 - celebrating failures and budgeting learning time.
36:34 - budgeting time for people to learn whatever they want.
37:05 - making it OK for people to say "I don't know".
37:49 - should we stop rewarding success?
40:30 - how are you curious?
44:15 - overcoming low stress tolerance.
46:26 - fear of failure.
47:48 - fear setting.
48:29 - scenario crafting™ (Trademark of Intrinsic Curiosity, LLC). 
49:05 - final thoughts on curiosity.

You can find more detailed show notes with references at: https://candourpodcast.com/dr-alison-horstmeyer

1:54 - Ola.
2:14 - growing up in a bicultural home.
3:48 - 26 siblings!
4:13 - identity and identification.
5:28 - finding purpose in the pain.
9:35 - cultural identity crisis.
10:58 - what culture is and how it forms us.
11:42 - culture is.
13:06 - 5 components of culture.
13:20 - everyone got to where they are at honestly.
14:03 - where food fits into culture.
16:17 - iceberg model of culture.
17:14 - how can we become more aware of how our culture shapes us?
18:44 - cultural mindset and skillset.
19:47 - culural competency level.
22:36 - the six stages of cultural mastery.
25:42 - the six stages of cultural mastery really works.
27:19 - balance between hand and heart.
29:23 - diversity and inclusion departments are a symptom of a bigger problem.
30:14 - everyone has a micro-culture.
30:41 - the elements of cultural education.
31:06 - education starts with curiosity and humility.
33:03 - I can touch your soul by talking about food.
35:35 - overcoming the fear of engaging with people.
37:00 - mexican pool hall PhD.
39:47 - relationships are critical for business.
41:18 - is it helpful to call out cultural offensiveness?
43:44 - healthy leadership.
44:43 - cuddling people in rather than calling out.
46:48 - how Ricardo become more open and accepting.
47:55 - everyone is on a journey in this process of transformation.
48:45 - pride and fear can be what holds us back.
49:45 - closing remarks.

More  detailed show notes can be found at: https://candourpodcast.com/ricardo-gonzalez/

2:18 - fear of public speaking to TEDx coach.
6:14 - public speaking anxiety.
7:37 - becoming a keen observer.
8:22 - impact of art on observation.
10:31 - nuances of facial expressions.
11:46 - hardest part of non-verbal communication is observation.
12:04 - the face gives so much information.
13:56 - being on to observe takes a lot of energy.
15:06 - micro-expressions and subtle cues.
16:37 - reading the hidden emotions.
17:34 - common misconceptions about reading body language.
19:32 - normal to lie.
21:00 - can you spot a liar?
21:49 - reading other parts of the body.
22:58 - using body language to identify when you're lying to yourself.
25:06 - analysing celebrities and politicians.
26:45 - should I fold my arms?
29:47 - power poses.
32:57 - common tells.
36:31 - the feet are the most honest part of your body.
40:15 - non verbal communication is also voice tone.
44:45 - anxiety impacting your voice.
45:44 - using your voice more deliberately.
49:12 - virtual vs in person.
51:38 - don't get Botox!
54:16 - thanks.

Find more detailed show notes at: https://candourpodcast.com/sophie-halliday-zadeh

2:14 - why ideas are important.

3:19 - ideas can die when not communicated well.

4:32 - impact of cognitive load on communication.

5:46 - less is often better.

7:05 - know your audience's world.

7:55 - using inclusive language.

9:36 - meeting the audience where they are at.

9:57 - Port method pitch formula.

12:32 - death by detail.

13:06 - Matt Church pitch technique.

15:02 - importance of emotion to communication.

17:24 - humour for communication and creativity.

20:47 - treading softly on someone's ideas.

22:38 - open mouth theory.

27:06 - the environment matters.

29:17 - is it ever too early to share an idea?

35:10 - telling someone their idea won't work without breaking their spirit.

41:11 - creating a safe space to generate ideas.

47:42 - this facilitation technique works cross-culturally.

49:58 - generating ideas with a jaded audience.

52:53 - coming down to their level.

53:46 - sell to the kids not the parents.

55:23 - dealing with mico-managers

01:00:39 - acceptance commitment therapy.

01:04:29 - thanks.

You can find more detailed show notes at: https://candourpodcast.com/nils-vesk

Tina has two decades of experience working with children including children with disabilities and trauma. 

She is passionate about developing the social and emotional skill of children that will prepare them for school and for life. She believes that play forms a vital part of this development and that play is an undervalued skill not just in children but in adults too. 

She has spent most of her career leading teams that support children and their families. She has a refreshing approach to leadership that has helped her to turn around the culture and performance of toxic teams. The last twenty minutes are jammed packed with insights on leadership and culture. 

1:58 - bucket filling.
5:03 - why working with children is important.
7:14 - educating parents are important.
9:02 - the critical soft skills.
13:32 - education system becoming more aware of soft skills.
18:58 - emotional regulation
21:14 - being curious instead of judgemental.
22:54 - navigating difficult conversations.
25:37 - quote: all behaviour is communication
27:14 - power of empathy.
28:44 - emotional regulation and empathy.
29:60 - how play teaches social and emotional skills.
32:28 - importance of labelling emotions.
33:18 - acknowledging emotions in others.
36:01 - easier to get through to someone in a state of play.
37:49 - play is not just for kids.
39:37 - How to use play when leading people.
42:37 - you perform better when you're having fun.
43:25 - stress can be good. Constant stress is not.
44:19 - being playful builds rapport because it requires vulnerability.
45:27 - example of how play turned around toxic work culture.
51:25 - setting the example as the leader.
56:54 - trust is respected more than its taken advantage of.
58:44 - self care and self talk.
01:02:35 - healthy boundaries.
01:03:34 - self awareness.

Find more detailed show notes at: https://candourpodcast.com/tina-robinson

1:27 - surfing.
2:46 - mental rehearsal.
4:59 - study on impact of visualisation on strength.
6:18 - What is mindfulness?
7:47 - the benefits of mindfulness.
8:14 - mindfulness = managing the mind.
9:36 - being present is becoming increasingly harder.
10:58 - active and mindful listening.
12:04 - difference between mindful and active listening.
15:35 - how we can train our minds.
20:01 - types of meditation.
21:55 - most important thing about meditation.
24:16 - why do we get angry?
27:08 - when anger is useful.
28:36 - anger can destroy relationships.
30:13 - underlying frustration and displacing anger.
31:17 - anger coping mechanisms.
32:19 - focus on what you can control.
32:55 - not taking offense.
34:13 - feedback vs taking offense.
34:46 - Adrian's journey with managing anger.
38:39 - aggression to be the best vs relationships.
39:57 - how Adrian started controlling his anger.
44:42 - how to get into meditation.
47:48 - is meditation for everybody?
48:58 - it's important to switch off to recover.
52:31 - impact of stress on relationships.
56:21 - three gates before you open your mouth to speak.
57:57 - relaxation technique to reduce stress.
01:01:48 - meaning is more important than striving to acquire more.
01:03:53 - thank you.

You can see more detailed show notes with links to references and key quotes at: https://candourpodcast.com/adrian-spear/

1:24 - where the platypus was discovered.  

4:22 - if you want to connect you have to think of the other person.  

5:56 - being present to connect with people.  

9:08 - being vulnerable is about being real without the facade.  

11:18 - it takes courage to go first.  

12:28 - why we're scared to show our true selves.  

14:33 - why take the risk to be vulnerable?  

15:51 - performing for approval makes you less likeable.  

17:01 - finding the balance between technique and authenticity.  

18:44 - why people are important.  

19:15 - silo mentality.  

19:49 - the right people in the right role.  

21:01 - What is DiSC?  

25:15 - building rapport.  

27:24 - using DiSC and technology to understand people and build relationship.  

29:26 - it's important to be aware of each other's style, especially under stress.  

29:59 - under stress people resort to comfortable behaviours because of fear.  

31:09 - rapport building techniques can be manipulative.  

32:51 - it's not about technique, it's about trust.  

33:02 - humour is a good technique to build rapport.  

34:04 - how to build trust. Is trust given or earned?  

36:33 - don't fight resistance, adapt to it.  

37:14 - meeting people where they are at.  

38:58 - intellectual vs emotional empathy.  

40:28 - how stress changes behaviour and impacts empathy.  

42:24 - making decisions based on what we want, not what they need.  

43:19 - tension between our desires and others' needs.  

45:15 - incredibly proud of achievements, but it nearly cost the relationship.  

46:00 - re-investing in strained relationships.  

48:20 - what we're praised for is often not what's important.  

51:21 - selfishness does not make you happy.  

52:01 - productive conflict.  

52:42 - separating ego from conflicts.  

55:02 - what makes us happy.  

55:55 - be aware of your own triggers.  

56:57 - emotional intelligence is counter-intuitive.  

57:58 - excuses for bad behaviour.  

59:54 - personal responsibility.  

62:58 - expecting people to do things they are not capable of.  

64:18 - being a good performer does not make them a good leader - but we promote them anyway.  

65:25 - rewarding people for being the best at what they do.  

67:37 - you need to understand your people and what drives them.  

68:11 - understanding people helps you to better utilise their strengths.  

71:46 - last words.

More detailed show notes can be found at https://candourpodcast.com/craig-bulmer

1:14 - welcome.
1:21 - first impressions.
8:18 - what Marco loves about recruitment.
9:15 - weak handshakes.
10:03 - handshakes.
10:22 - non verbals.
10:54 - when does the interview start?
13:49 - how to see someone's true character.
14:16 - dress code.
15:27 - how do I know what the dress code should be?
17:18 - is there a way back from a bad first impression?
18:36 - authentic non-verbals.
21:43 - virtual interviews.
25:04 - 6 seconds per resume.
28:36 - tenure and generational differences.
30:23 - CRM.
31:52 - key words and resume score.
35:06 - unconscious bias.
37:10 - recruitment bible - everyone lies.
38:22 - blind audition.
42:12 - diversity vs culture fit.
44:49 - what can candidates do to avoid biased responses.
52:13 - line between intentional and lying.
55:15 - how to avoid lying.
55:44 - biggest weakness.
58:33 - sharing weakness=self awareness.
59:43 - through weakness I find a lot of strength.
59:59 - we identify more with weakness than strength.
60:32 - getting a second opinion.
61:58 - left field questions.
63:11 - spooking candidates.
64:05 - breaking through the facade.
64:45 - can the recruiter see their true colours?
67:19 - interviews are a two way street.
68:35 - confidence.
69:03 - Marco's last interview.
71:13 - confidence bias.
71:47 - desperation smells.
72:26 - intrinsic confidence.
73:10 - know your lane.
75:47 - have good questions to ask in the interview.
77:40 - you're not exclusive.
77:54 - summary of top 3 points.
78:05 - final thoughts.
78:07 - how to connect.
78:34 - thanks.

See more detailed show notes at: http://candourpodcast.com/marco-setiadi