Cantankerous Podcast

She goes to camp, she goes to jail, next she'll be "scared stupid".  Danny Kelly thinks Madea is just a rip off of Ernest P. Warrell from Ernest Goes to Camp.  We discuss peeing sitting down and open a conversation about which Muppet would be the best to hump.  Alex returns this week and declares that Cartoon Porn should be banned.  Brian gets the trumpet player in his band laid and discloses his absolute fear of aliens.  

Danny Kelly discusses his thoughts on prison reform in this week's episode.  Brian bravely shares a story about the psychological impact of nutting too quick.  As the conversation picks up steam, we learn about how Charles Manson was almost in the band "The Monkees", they discuss their universal hatred for Ray Lewis, Baseball theme songs and how the Boston Redsox are dead in the water.  The guys talk about the Netflix series "I am a Killer" and how the life and career of Goldberg from "The Mighty Ducks" is circling the drain.  Also Brian's prized English Bulldog gets his balls removed!

Danny returns to find out that Brian snuck in a quick marriage when nobody was looking.  We discuss how anyone that flies a drone over your house is a peeping tom in disguise and Danny reveals that Turkeys are in fact, c*nts.  

Screw AirBnb... They can crumble like Toys R Us as far as this podcast is concerned.  They can just fall off the face of the earth.  Brian is the one with an attitude problem this week as Danny talks him off the ledge after a bad run in with AirBnb and some poor rideshare experiences.  They discuss Sheriff Roscoe P Coltrane and how awesome it would be to own the General Lee or a Delorean from Back to the Future.  

Danny and Brian sit down for a nice conversation and it immediately goes off the rails.  They learn that there is a rock band out there made up entirely of people of small stature.  It's like Rock and Roll, only smaller.  Brian teaches the world how to leave a welt in the showers with a world class rat tail.  Enjoy 

This week Danny Kelly brings along a special guest for the movie episode.  This is a rapid fire discussion about TV, Movies and more.  Brian vows to punch John Lithgow in the face if he ever sees him and we find out how much you've ever lost on a coin toss.  It moves fast so if you hate the movie being discussed, just wait five seconds and they'll be on to a new one! 

Brian recounts a traumatic experience, from a time when he was the victim of some strange sexual misconduct. As he attempts to join the #metoo movement, Danny and Alex try to hear him up with stories of bad booze and silly sexual positions like the Angry Dragon and the Turkish Snowcone.  

Danny hates most humans but he loves his dog.  We are animal lovers on Cantankerous.  We're basically PETA without the senseless killing.  Danny gets wound up over some of the dumbest animal owners he's encountered.  We cover all sorts of animal topics on this one.  Alex was missing from this podcast because he was mauled by a rabid chihuahua.  Enjoy

It gets a little heated this week on Cantankerous as we discuss Trump's Border Camps and Immigration.  As usual, Brian sits right in the middle as Danny's old school heavy hand triggers Alex's millenial compassion.  We usually stay away from politics but this one boiled over and couldn't be helped.  After that we discuss the growing industry of being a Truck Stop Lot Lizard and what it takes to make it in Little League Baseball.  The moral of the story this week is... STOP F%KING!!!!

Cantankerous drops episode 20 and it's a bombshell of blasphemy.  Brian says Alf is better than Seinfeld.  Alex says Kanye is on the same level as the Rolling Stones and Danny starts a celebrity death pool for the ages.  We touch on celebrity suicide, musicians that should be long gone and the deaths of Kate Spade, Chris Cornell and Chester Bennington.  Life ain't easy, If you need help please ask for it.  Not from us, we are broken too.