Carole Baskins Diary

What Women Want

The day after giving him a laptop for his 53rd birthday.    Dell 5100 Inspiron weighs 7.22 pounds, has a 30 gig hard drive, 2.4 GHz, 14.1" XGA TFT Screen, 384 MB, 56K modem, 24X CD-RW/DVD Combo Drive, True Mobile wireless Broadband Router, Office XP, Extended 3 year warranty with free 24/7 tech support, USB200 Advanced port, Mini PCI, MS Money 2002, Jukebox, Office XP and a wireless mouse (because I just hate putting a mouse on a leash).

 

Dear Howie,  I am the one with the ego problem.  I have never been able to let others do things for me.  I have to disassociate myself from the cats to ask for help there and have to keep telling myself that people are doing it for the animals and to fulfill their own need to do something noble.  I know that what you do for the cats, you are doing for me and that your sense of leaving a mark is tied to what you do for people and not so much for the animals.

 

Knowing that has made me feel uncomfortable because as much as I need and want your help, I cannot let you do that for me, because of my own overdeveloped sense of pride.  You have indicated that I can pay you at some time in the future, but meanwhile you have invested an inordinate amount of time and thought into helping me that I have felt powerless to repay.  Perhaps I am not as observant as you, but I cannot think of anything that I can do for you to show how much I appreciate what you have already done for me.

 

I am not going to take ALL of the responsibility for this inequity ;-)   You seem to have a very hard time assessing value to your ability.  This has been my meager attempt to repay a debt that I consider to be far greater than the price of a computer.  This thing wouldn't even cover 10 hours of your time and you have spent that much on helping me in less than 2 days.   I don't even know what your shed cleaning rate is, but it's got to be more than sitting at a desk ;-)

 

I don't mean to diminish any of the feelings you have and I am especially sensitive to you feeling kept.  This is probably what it at the core of freaking my family out whenever I am in a relationship.  I change to accommodate the person because my sense of self has always been in reflecting those around me.  Whatever is your desire in life becomes mine and gives me a sense of joy to be helping you have whatever it is that you want from life.  You have told me that your desire is to make me happy and that caught me off balance, because I am still not certain how to help you help me, without me feeling that this is all about me, when it's my nature to want to make it all about you.  The more I learn about the reasons I behave the way I do, the more capable I am of being myself, but that person is still a bit of a mystery to me.

 

I feel bad for you that I am so attached to this place, because I realize how strange that must feel to you to come here.  It is made worse by the stigma caused by what others may say or think.  The only saving grace is that when your friends see the place they can understand that it is about the uniqueness of the property and not the opulence of the home that makes the island the undeniable best choice of locations.  It just can’t be duplicated.  Frankly, your address is far more prestigious than Town N Country, which has reputation of being blue collar.   Nonetheless, I do realize that you have had to make a considerable concession with your own pride, for a man who is so capable of taking care of himself, to agree to come here just to make me happy.  I think that alone speaks volumes about your own inner strength.

 

I also appreciate the way you just come right out and say what is on your mind.  You do it in such a polite way, that I often wonder if I caught all of what you were trying to say.  Some of the things you have had to say were probably very hard, or uncomfortable for you, but you have had the wisdom to know when it needed saying and the courage to say it.  I admire that.  I apologize for te

Howie Tells Me He Loves Me

This is an email to Alex Petrilak, Jen and ? at ICC and copying me.  I had hired them with the last $20k I had after 9/11/2001 had caused the sanctuary funding to crash.  I could feed the cats for a week, or I could hire someone to help me figure out how to save us.  Obviously we had been working on the results from their SWOT session (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) for a while before I met Howie and their suggestions were that I move and hire a fundraiser (ie: them).  

 

Hi, I had hoped to spend much more time than I have been able to getting familiar with the WOES situation, so am not where I would have liked to be, but suggested meeting tomorrow anyway rather than delay.  I may send you some other stuff later today but wanted to get a few thoughts to you in time for you to have a chance to be thinking about them if you can.

 

The two things I'd like to see addressed tomorrow are the big issues of (1) the move and (2) the staffing.

 

The Move Decision:  On the issue of moving, I mentioned to Jen when we had time after the last meeting that when the three of us had lunch, the list of reasons that Alex was able to articulate so well seemed pretty overwhelming, but when I talk with Carole two things happen.  Some of the hurdles seem not as clear or compelling, and the negatives associated with a move appear to become quite overwhelming.  Attached is a document in which Carole just tried to write out thoughts and list the issues related to moving.  I had hoped to a little bit of organizing and clarifying before we met but am not likely to get to it.  But I think as it is it serves the purpose of getting on paper where her head is at and giving us a list of points to go through, so am sending it to you in raw form with her permission.

 

The biggest concerns I have from what I have read and discussed are (a) whether there really is a financial scenario for moving that is feasible, i.e. is a move really possible even if it were the best decision and (b) the risk associated with tour volume, the main source of income if I understand correctly, dropping in a more remote location.

 

The Staffing:  I think it would be helpful to hash through this a bit.  Carole met last week with the existing staff in an effort to work them into roles more like those described in the draft. I sat in as an observer only.  I think it would be very helpful to hear your thoughts on how Carole is to deal with the existing personnel, who do not necessarily fit in the proposed roles.  I also wonder how one gets an experienced fund raiser and marketer, or even an inexperienced one, who is any good to work for a $15k base.  May depend on how you envision bonus being structured, but I'd like to understand this better.  Separate is the issue of how to fund an increase in payroll.  I think there was conversation about doing this gradually.  Not sure if the feeling is that adding one of these could generate incremental revenue that would pay for that person before another was added.

 

Self Sufficiency:  The other thing on my mind is whether you found in your look at the "industry" that there were sanctuaries that are self sufficient and if so if there is anything that characterized those versus ones that are not or who have failed.  Not sure if that came up.  Forgive me if that is in plan - did read through weeks ago but have not gotten to fully reread.

 

I think if nothing else tomorrow we need to either reach a decision on the move, or identify exactly what we need to know that we do not currently know in order to make that decision.  Carole raises some, maybe all, of these questions in her document.  For instance, do we really know she could not build there, or can we work on the hurdles that stand in the way if we could make proper approaches to the right people?  Or, under what circumstances, if any, could she actually be forced to leave or shut down against her will, or does she have the right to stay

Howie to Carole on lovemaking:

I just want to express something I increasingly feel.  When we make love, I find to be something different and beyond what I have experienced in the past.  In a way that does not all mean to imply anything less about the excitement, it is less what I have always thought of as "sex", and more like some kind of emotional merging.  And what is wonderful is that I find that feeling growing slowly and steadily, versus any feeling of lessening that can come with familiarity and repetition.  It is a wonderful feeling.  - Howie

Carole to Howie:

I came in, rushed and wanting to get the chain of command issue copied for everyone at Easy Street and was greeted by your beautiful letter.  Thank you for sharing that with me.  I agree that it is an emotional bonding that does increase in intensity with every touch, every kiss, every kindness.  I am so happy to be with you.

 

Attached are my thoughts on the chain of command and where I think you could do us an awful lot of good.  I will delete your name from the copy I send to the rest of the board so as not to speak for you, nor to surprise them.  When you have time, I would like your thoughts on it. - Carole

 

Howie invites me to Scientology Center

You are welcome to attend the lecture if you would like, of course.  It is at the scientology center though, in case that makes you uncomfortable.  Bit of a freaky place.  Starts 7:15.  I have to go a few

minutes early to sign off or something on this series of "auditing" with Donna.  They have concluded I'm done.  Not sure if that means I'm hopeless or I passed or what, but I'm glad not to spend more time on it.  It was interesting and glad I did it.  Got a few very interesting  thoughts /insights from it.  But I doubt if more hours would yield more.  Of course, they will want to suck me into the next whatever it is for some ungodly amount of money.  Hold my foot if you see me slipping into the cult!  Actually, the only other thing that interests me there is this sauna treatment that is supposed to sweat out all past x-rays and drugs (in my case prescription, but for others, recreational) etc that they say get stuck in our bodies.  But that can wait, if ever.  Rambling now - back to work.  If it happens you want to attend this let me know.  Mark is a weird dude, just to prepare you if/when you ever meet him.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Howie Talks About Moving in at the Island

 

At 05:50 PM 4/30/03 -0400, Carole writes to Howie:  Monday and Tuesday the cabinet guy will be here ripping up the kitchen, but any time after that, you are welcome to start moving in.  You could start before then, but things are likely to be a mess until he finishes on Tues.

 

If you think you might like your office in the front room, it would give you a chance to try it for a while to see if the room addition was needed.  Since there is no rush for you to be out of your place, you could leave non essential furniture, or furniture that would go in the new room, until it is done.  Your place will show better with less furniture as it makes a place look bigger.

 

Ted's Sheds : Products : Tuffy   http://www.tedssheds.com/tuffy.html I spoke with Eric at the Hillsborough Ted's Shed 630-0079 and we can get a 14 x 20 (280 sf) Tuffy metal shed with double doors, five windows and a floor in 2 weeks, set up and delivered for 4000.00 plus tax.  That's 14.29 per SF.  Roy could build shelves, or I heard that you could, and there used to be power there.  I found a cord, but don't know where or if the other end is hooked up at the house.  You can get them wider, but there is a big jump in money and more permitting to get it here due to the DOT.

 

Howie emails Carole:

 

After kitchen (remodeling) is better.   All it really requires for me to be moved in initially is my office, some clothes, and the cats. The office is the only hard part. I want to take a day or two to cull files before moving and want to get a little work done on something before then, so will plan for week or so.  The shed sounds good.  I think even if we do a garage the shed would make sense.  I suggest we order and split cost.

 

Putting the office initially in the dining room would certainly work temporarily even if not a permanent solution.  We can talk about delaying the room.  There are a couple things the open office does not accomplish that the enclosed room does, but it occurs to me that I might accomplish those by kind of taking over both the dining room and existing room.  Will think more on it. - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

I Write Howie from TAOS Meeting

Dear Howie,  Sunday:     I may not get to send this until I get back to the airport, because pay phones are the only kind they have here in Menucha.  My cell phone doesn't ring when you call, and I just figured out how to retrieve messages, long distance on it this morning.  I am distressed at the conference attendance thus far.  There were only 15 people here last night compared to well over a 100 at last year's conference.  Of the ones I talked to, three were not members and had no animals in their care, one had rescued 1 cow, and one had 4 chimps. Jan, who I love dearly and admire for all her years of dedication to domestic animal rescue, informed me that the life was just too tough and after spending 3 weeks in Fiji, she realized that this wasn't worth sacrificing her life for, and was going to throw in the towel.  I haven't had time to talk to Craig about his leaving as Director, but I think that has a lot to do with the overwhelming feeling of despair in this group.

 

I started getting down and feeling pressured at that last thought and looked out the window.  My cabin has 3 beds and one is out in a bay window with breathtaking views of majestic trees in every direction.  It was clear when the sun came up, but a mist is now rolling in and looks more Hollywood dramatic than real.  How strange.  How appropriate.  This is a magical setting.  The countryside is so lush and the landscape is awe inspiring, but this little camp is captivating.  If you were here, I might never go home.  The road in wound round and round the mountain giving me the feeling that I was being drawn deep inside the womb of Mother Nature.  When the cabins came into sight, they were surrounded by trees that were laden with bright pink and white blossoms.  The flowers that surrounded them, that dotted the grassy slopes and that clung to the stone steps and ledges could only cry out in weak competition.  It reminds me of Costa Rica where everything is so full of life, except that I don't see squirrels nor do I hear birds.  It's too freakin' cold.

 

The shuttle driver for the 30 minute drive from Portland to the wilderness was a tiny little immigrant from Katmandu named Delipe.  He told me he is the richest immigrant in America because he lives in the most beautiful place in the world and has seen more of America than most of her native inhabitants.  He drives things and people from NY to Seattle and has settled in Portland for the past 4 years giving tours and running shuttle services.  Every free moment he spends in search of some beautiful place he has never seen before.  His enthusiasm was contagious.  He was just astounded at all of the opportunity we Americans let pass us by.  I asked if he thought it is because of him being an immigrant that makes him more keenly aware of the possibilities and he said he thinks it is more of an individual thing.  He said he was the richest man in Nepal too, because he knew how to enjoy himself every day.

 

On the plane from Atlanta to Salt Lake City I sat next to Mike Basile who is the CFO for Great Harvest Bread Company.  It was interesting to hear his version of what is happening since Nido Qubein took over the company.  Mike has been with the company for 7 years and really loved Pete and Laura Wakeman.  He and the COO and some of the other 30 employees had tried to buy the company, but were outbid by Qubein and his partner (whose name escapes me at the moment).  The COO McMakin quit and the company was stunned initially and fearful that the hippie style management they had come to embrace would be dramatically changed by this "big city, buttoned down, motivational speaker".   To Qubein's credit, he didn't try to change something that was already working so well and eventually earned the respect of the management team.  Mike really likes him and got a kick out of hearing how fondly Qubein spoke of the company when he spoke to us a few weeks ago.  There is a store opening

Howie’s Friends All Love Him FYI, Betsy enjoyed. You are such a good entertainer! Oscar Feldman writes Howie: Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2003 10:25:16 -0400 From: "Oscar FELDMAN"  Subject: Re: Betsy, Lightning Howard, Betsy telephoned us about her visit at the Cat Park, and her having met all of you, and she thoroughly enjoyed it all. Surprised that Alan and Phyllis (Lorber) would have the need to consult a physician on the other side of the state with such a preponderance of medical facilities and doctors in the Miami area. We're delighted with the Lightening's success, but disappointed with our Pistons having lost our opener, but our players and coaches are optimistic about the series. Betsy's driving over to Orlando with her dad to attend the Piston games on Friday and Sunday. All is well here. Dede joins me in sending our best to you and Carole Howard Baskin 04/22/03 06:24PM writes: Met Betsy (Coville) at Wildlife On Easy Street today. It turns out, totally by coincidence, Alan and Phyllis were in town to see a doctor here so they got to meet her too. Since she and Carole were talking shop, I took Al and Phyll on a separate tour and did not get much time with her. But enjoyed the bits and pieces I overheard and hope to get more time in the future. Clearly VERY knowledgeable. And congrats on the Lightning! What a come back!!! Al and Phyll say hi, and Carole thanks you and Didi (sp?) for the introduction to Betsy. Burt (Alimanski), thanks for continuing to think of Carole. From her past experience, they insist that you give them your mailing list of no less than 50,000 names. Carole does have 20,000 and might have negotiated the number, but has promised privacy and that she would not give out the names. When she offered to mail the solicitations for the card companies to keep her names private, they have refused. May be worth inquiring again though, particularly with Discover who seem to struggle for market share. Regardless, thanks for keeping her in mind! Denise Kelly writes Carole 4/11/2003 11:29:49 AM From Dkelly5484 Oh, my god, Carol, thanks for adding the links to Best Friends and AWC to your site. Actually, the people I work with at Best Friends (I work on the advertising for their magazine), have been an inspiration to go forward with the Avian Welfare Coalition. That and my associate, Eileen McCarthy, who also co-founded the Midwest Avian Adoption and Rescue Services (MAARS). MAARS is the largest adoption facility for unwanted birds in the U.S. Right now, we're working on our 3rd Annual Avian Welfare Round Table (which Craig Brestrup is also attending) to take place May 29th-31 in Minneapolis. I'll forward you some information on it. This is our annual meeting of representatives from avian welfare, animal protection & advocacy orgs., and professionals from the avian veterinary, behavior, & conservation community that come together to focus on specific programs and campaigns for the benefit of captive birds. We should be leaving for Florida sometime this weekend and I'll give you a call next week. Hopefully, it will be a bit quieter with the holiday coming. Irwin and I will see if we can arrange to get to see your wonderful facility, which we've heard so much about! Take care, and thanks again for your kind words. p.s. If you haven't seen a copy of Best Friends magazine, I'd be glad to drop a few in the mail to you. It is absolutely the best animal magazine .

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that

“You looked so beautiful this morning”

Letter from Howie:  You looked so beautiful this morning that I can continue to picture you almost exactly in my mind in vivid color, glowing.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to play tennis with an...

 

While I enjoy the activeness of our sex life, I must confess that I also really enjoy the feelings of desire that build up after a few days of abstinence.  While I wish for you that you did not have this week of discomfort, there is something of a silver lining in the excitement that builds up and the intensity of reconnecting physically when it passes.  - Howie

 

Dear Howie,  Thank you for all of your healing thoughts.  I woke up feeling good.  Talked to myself and realized I still sound weird.  I have a meeting at WOES with the cage donors at 11:00 and then will be back at the island.  Thanks for looking up a remedy with the laser.  Your letter to the condo owners was very good.  I enjoy reading your work as it helps me to learn better communication skills.  This letter, jumping from topic to topic, is a prime example of my need for those skills.  I hope your game went well and that you enjoyed this glorious morning.  I miss you.

 

Did I tell you that after the volunteer meeting on Sunday in March, Scott gave a private tour to the coaches and team members of the Tampa Bay Lightning?  I told Scott you know Ozzie Feldman.  He said they loved us and are donating a bunch of things to our silent auction.  Scott's email address is 

 

Dennis and Susan (horse fanatics) got the Convention Center to donate a room for our silent auction and he is working on three restaurants to bring food.  I would like for you and I to have dinner with them some night.  They are yellow shirt volunteers, wanting to do much more, but not well liked by the board.  Much of that is because they try to circumvent the board to get my ear, so we need to integrate you with the board first.

 

I need to call a board meeting.  It has to be on a weekend or evening.  Let me know when you can spare 2-3 hours to attend.  We need to discuss things such as the suggestions the ICC made in that small booklet, how we are going to divide the pay between the people working (job descriptions) and an immediate need of a cat in So. FL that belongs to a police officer who is now in a body cast and can't take care of the cat.  Good media opportunity there.  Even the best intentioned people can't take care of big cats for their entire lives.

 

Thank you for your kindness.  I was going to write and tell you how surprised I was at the calm way I have responded to all of my web sites being deleted from my hard drive.  I have no idea how that happened and my backups are four months old.  I was actually taking it in stride until I went to copy your sweet email to my journal and discovered it is missing too.  Now, I am upset.  All of our letters and my feelings for you over the past four months are lost and a search of the hard drive is not pulling them up.  I've heard that even when files have been destroyed there is often a shadow of them that can be retrieved by a professional.  I am just not happy about the idea of the computer being down for another several days.

 

Your letter came at a very opportune moment and made this a lot less stressful.  I am so thankful to have you in my life, that not much else matters.  Love, Carole

 

Howie wrote to Carole:

 

I have copies of all of the emails, so when appropriate, can resend you.

 

Carole to Howie:  Well, this just made my day.  This was the only thing I felt irreplaceable and truly sad to have lost.  It brings tears to my eyes to know you kept them.  I had to stop typing because I couldn't stop crying.  You are so sweet. I  can duplicate the work I lost.  The tech won't be in until afternoon for me to ask if he thinks he can retrieve the information.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit

10 Principles of Sacred Relationships

I can't believe it is 8:00!!!  As late as it is, I won't be there until after 10:00.  I am really looking forward to that though!  It has been another very productive day.  I beat myself into submission and signed the closing docs on the gas station, so that is a done deal and the 32k check is in my hands.   Peter had racked up 5200.00 in legal fees that I have to pay from it, but it is money that I never thought I would see.

 

I bought a DVD burner and want to hook it up tonight and learn to work it.  I almost bought a new laptop, but declined when I found out the new DVD burners don't cover both types of DVD's and only the external burner I bought does.

 

I was wondering today (after talking to you about it last night) if perhaps I had been too judgmental of Alan.  As I walked into the closing, who should be there but his partner, Larry Herndon.  Larry is a rascal, but a great bird dog and was the only reason Alan ever found a deal after me, because Alan was far too lazy to look for himself.  Larry was being his usual talkative self, rambling from one subject to another without so much as a pause for breath, when out of the blue he said, "Alan just bit the hand that feeds one too many times and I finally had to tell him not to call me anymore"  He went on to elaborate that Alan had screwed him out of a ton of money and was just constantly lying to him, using him and then finding any way in the world to get the better of him by not paying.  It was one of those reminders from the Universe that told me I had taken all I could take before asking him to go.  I needed reminding.  It is hard for me to hold a grudge.  I forget why I got so mad.  Catera Bobcat and I have a lot in common.  I hope you don't refer to me as your retarded girlfriend ;-)

 

When you get a chance, I need the name of the cabinet installer.  The closet people are coming on the 21st.  I am having 28 feet of hanging space installed, plus the shelves above for suitcases, hats and such.  I hope you guys had fun today!  See you later.  You could have written this, you abide by it so well:

 

10 Principles of Sacred Relationships

 

1. Unselfishness and selflessness--Consciously put your loved one at the center of your heart and cultivate awareness of his/her needs. But don't go overboard; remember to also take care of yourself.

2. Generosity--Give of yourself, sharing time, things, and emotions.

3. Acceptance--Commit yourself to patience, forbearance, tolerance, and accepting your mate not as a fantasy object--but a real person.

4. Respect--Your mate is a gateway to God and so deserves your respect, trust and support.

5. Honesty--the hard work of communication, revealing yourself, truth-telling, listening (these are big practices)--all lead to authenticity.

6. Empathy--Genuine love involves working hard to understand, and share, the feelings of your loved one. And to offer compassion and caring even for feelings you don't "get."

7. Play--Don't take your love or yourself so seriously. Remember to leave room for fun, whimsy, joy and meaninglessness too.

8. Passion--True passion is not the romantic fascination we associate with teenage crushes; it's a deep wonderment and interest in the other.

9. Mystery--Being open to not knowing, to not having it all worked out, to the discovery of being together.

10. Mission--Strengthen your bond by having some shared "mission," purpose, direction.

 

"Love is the highest form of tolerance." - Richard Burton

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate thei

I’m Uncomfortable with Cameron Spending the Night

Dear Howie,  This is not a big deal, but I have been struggling with how to handle this for weeks, but now the time in upon us and I think it better to tell you what is on my mind than to behave strangely for no apparent reason ;-)

 

I would be very uncomfortable staying overnight with you while Cameron is here.  I think is sets a bad example for an impressionable child to be exposed to people living together.  I understand that his (and your) religious upbringing might not find our situation particularly unacceptable, but mine does.  I think it sets a poor example for reasons that are much more earthbound than that as well because statistics show that people who live together before marriage are more like to divorce later.  I think that is largely because people who opt to do that are less committed to making something work and are perhaps more flippant in their attitude that if it doesn't work out, it's easier to get out of.  I know that you have good reasons, based upon your experience that people change after marriage, and that is why you want to be sure that under the test of constant companionship you will find me to be no less than what you think I am.

 

But Cameron is too young to understand that and doesn't have the same set of experiences that you have had.  I know he looks up to you and at some later date might view our living arrangement as having been acceptable because of his respect for you and then even further justified when it works out for us.  This could cause him to make a big mistake in his later life if he were to choose a young woman who was willing to take a similarly cavalier attitude toward what should be a permanent relationship.    If I were to flaunt our living arrangement before him, I would always be concerned that I was creating an obstacle for him, and if he did end up in a bad relationship would blame myself for having done something that I knew better than to do.

 

I am not sure how to handle the other kids in your life.  It doesn't appear that they spend the night and even though they may see and question a woman's clothes in the closet, it doesn't seem to me to have the same impact as waking up every morning and she's still there.  When the time comes that we do share a roof, I can always go to the cabins at Easy Street for a week or so when your nephew is in town.

 

This isn't easy for me to suggest now, and I suspect that in a week my resolve may have been deeply challenged by your absence ;-)  Might I suggest you take a handful of the Active H, so that we can stock up for the drought?  I will welcome any opportunity in your schedule over the next week to steal a moment of pleasure with you.  My period starts on the 16th, which makes for especially bad timing.  The good news is that you will soon discover whether or not I just love you for your body ;-)

 

Bank of America approved me today for 200,000.00 at 5% fixed, zero points, 15 year on the island, plus an additional credit line of 68,000.00 at .25 over prime.  I currently owe them 125,000.00 at 7.5%.  90 days to close.  They are offering 5.5 % fixed, no points on my investment properties, so I need to sit down and take a look at the big picture to see how I can comfortably parlay it at this opportune time in history.  I am looking forward to seeing you tonight.  Love, Carole

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my word

WildLife on Easy Street’s Costa Rican and Panama Projects

 

After just a week in Central America I am reminded how fortunate we are to live in the United States.  The things we take for granted, like freedom, availability of goods and the opportunity to shape our own destinies through education, creativity and hard work are luxuries far beyond the grasp of most of this planet’s inhabitants.  It’s good to be home.

 

WildLife on Easy Street’s Global Coordinator

 

Pat Quillen has spent the past 31 years devoted to intensive study and hands-on experience with the majority of small and medium sized species of wild cats.  In 1978 Pat founded S.O.S., Care and still maintains the facility.  She has become internationally known for her work and knowledge on housing, husbandry, behaviour, nutrition and infant/neonate nutrition and care of the world's small wild cats.   In 1989 Pat was nominated for the Chevron Conservation Award, and she has been featured by CNN Science & Technology.  Pat also assisted PBS and 20th Century Fox, BBC 1 and National Geographic on film projects featuring wild cats, and she is a member of the World Conservation Union Species Survival Commission.   She and the San Diego Zoo host the Small Felid Workshop each year and she was selected to join the original 12 members of the American Zoological Association’s, Felid Taxon Advisory Group.  Her “family” is currently comprised of 30 Margay, Tigrina, Black Footed Cats, Sand Cats and a recently confiscated Serval.  U.S. Fish and Wildlife has placed confiscated animals with Pat. She has consulted with zoos when they have problems with behaviour or breeding.  Her cats and her work are featured in many publications and her name is widely recognized in the zoo world as a cat specialist.  More importantly, there’s not a cat we’ve encountered who didn’t immediately recognize Pat as a kindred spirit.  

 

I met Pat at the Small Felid Workshop in Las Vegas in May 1998 and visited with her again in April 1999 at the AZA Felid Taxon Advisory Group meeting hosted by Disney in Orlando.  Shortly thereafter, Pat visited WildLife on Easy Street  and we had the chance to talk about our ultimate goals for the wildcats.  We are both in the unenviable position of having to dedicate much of our time and resources into putting a Band-Aid on a gaping wound.  It means the world to the cats we rescue, but it doesn’t cure the problem.  Our common goal is to make a difference that will preserve the cats in the wild and preserve the existing gene pool for future integrity of the species. 

 

WildLife on Easy Street & S.O.S., Care Go Worldwide!

 

Pat shared with me the details of the projects in which she has participated in Brazil and those that she’s been negotiating in other countries of the world.  When she was invited by Yolanda de Metamores, President of the Central American Zoological Association, and Director of the Simon Bolivar Zoo in San Jose, to come advise them on housing and husbandry of their cats, she asked WildLife on Easy Street to come and share the concepts and designs that have proven useful, economical and enjoyable to the 146 cats that we house.

 

Almost all of the 28 cat species are endangered and many are perched right on the edge of destruction.  Most of the exotic cats in the U.S. are termed “generic” meaning there is no known purity of the sub species.  It has taken the thousands of years that humans have dominated animals for us to realize, only in the very recent past, that we have to plan for the future, or there won’t be one.  Only in your lifetime have we started to concern ourselves with preserving our very life support system.  The concept of zoos as collections for amusement has only recently begun to evolve into a “Noah’s Ark” for survival of the species and as a forum to educate the masses.  In this time zoos have formed national and global alliances and have been instrumental in the formation of laws to protect the animals in the wild.  They have