Carole Baskins Diary

Learning Ways Howie and I Are Similar

Dear Howie,  Thank you for all of your assistance today.  I enjoyed having you beside me through much of the day.  It is hard to leave you, even when I know I will see you again shortly.  We have talked volumes about what I want, what I need and what is helpful to me.  You have mentioned that we need to talk about what we both desire and expect from a business aspect, and I have been doing all the talking.  I want to know what you want and how you want to approach all of this.  We need to devote some time to your feelings, desires and needs.  Just let me know when is good for you.

 

You seemed uncomfortable that I would "defer" to you regarding some of the contract issues.  You have no need for concern.  If one way is as good as another, I will defer to any preference you have.  If there is a reason to take a stand, I will explain why I don't think something is a good idea.  I won't just sit back and let you do something that I think compromising, just because you suggest it.  I think you may have felt that I was subjecting my will to yours because of my personal beliefs about the necessity of a woman doing that for her man, but I draw the line where I think there could be a negative impact that would effect you.  To the best of my ability, I will always protect you, even if from yourself.

 

I was impressed that you read the contracts.  It is in keeping with your good sense and what I perceive as an attitude of responsibility.  My feeling is, that if I sign my name to a contract, then I had better be willing to live and die by the terms.  I am glad to see that in you.  The more I see of your daily attitudes and interactions, the most I realize what a rare and wonderful person you are.  I am so happy to have this time with you.  Love, Carole

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Howie Helps Small Businesses Grow

 

The summation of this proposal is that I need you to do what you used as your seven-second job description:  "You help small businesses to grow by doing the things they don't know how to do, or don't have time to do."  My feeble attempt to put the pictures in my head into written form below further illustrates my need for you.

 

Time Line:

 

From 1983 till 1993 100% of my attention was focused on growing the real estate business.  From 1993-1997 I dropped to 25% attention on the real estate business and 75% attention to the hands-on care of the ever-growing population of cats.  From mid 1997 (when Don disappeared) to 1998 I was scrambling to protect the business from an onslaught of people who were suing the estate claiming rights via Don's supposed promises to people claiming to be his illegitimate children wanting a cut.   I fired three office staff (leaving no one) and took over the accounts receivable, accounts payable and all other administrative duties.  The conservatorship refused to allow more than $125,000.00 to go to the care of the animals and all of my assets had been seized, so I had no way to meet the $399,000.00 budget.

 

In 1998 my mother agreed to give up her pension and run the daily operation of the real estate business.  I slept for three days straight.  From 1998 until 2002 I focused 80% of my attention on getting WildLife on Easy Street self sufficient, 10% on the real estate business and 10% on protecting the assets in the estate and trying to free those that had been mine before the marriage.

 

In the aftermath of 9/11/01 I realized that all I had done to establish financial security for WildLife on Easy Street could literally go up in smoke with the collapse of the twin towers.  My real estate business was successful because it was recession proof and WOES needed that same security.  I hired the ICC to show me how.  I've found the process beneficial because it's caused me to take a more organized look at things, but as yet, it hasn't produced any tangible benefit to WildLife on Easy Street.  The only revelation has been that ultimately WildLife on Easy Street depends on my real estate business.

 

Where I am:  I am now in a time of transitioning.  I am trying to divide my attention equally between WildLife on Easy Street and the real estate business, but sense that I am only being half effective in either endeavor.  That is causing a tremendous amount of stress because I refuse to fail, even if I knock myself out trying.

 

It took me 20 years to learn the real estate market and I am still learning every day.  Evaluating potential deals is what consumes so much of my time and yet is the hardest thing to train someone else to do because it's based largely on experience.  Anyone good at it doesn't need to work for me.

 

The same is true of the refuge.  Anyone who has mastered the art of appealing to the public to support animals is probably up to their eyeballs with their own commitments.  Anyone who has been exposed to the larger picture has come to realize that sweeping social change will not likely come about by the efforts of one sanctuary, no matter how well intentioned.

 

My life is not justified by saving 200 animals.  It wouldn't be by saving 2000.  There isn't a number that quantifies success.  I have been too richly blessed (with you, with a loving family and with supportive volunteers) to leave this planet without affecting the greatest shift in perception that I am capable of achieving.

 

Where I want to be:  I want to see an attitude of compassion and responsibility.  I want to see people treating each other and all life forms with respect.  Everything else will follow.  Many may find that desire to be naïve, but I believe it's possible.  I'm willing to be patient, because I know it won't happen overnight.  I know it means starting locally and it will gain momentum, one community at a time.  The biggest problem with animal advocates is that they

Everyone Loves Howie

Carole writes Howie 3/27/03:

 

Dear Howie,   Unless I can beam myself there, I won't arrive before noon.  The USDA conference was only a one day thing and I didn't miss any of it.  I just couldn't get an earlier flight back via Orbitz when I scheduled this, without paying 300.00 more.  I would either be spending the day in the hotel lobby or the airport lobby, so it isn't a big deal either way.

 

You are always the source of good minutes for me.  You make all of the bad ones that came before you just fade away.  I keep thinking of Ana's words when she said that you deserved someone who recognized you for the jewel that you are.  Had I not known the darkness of the past, I might not have seen you shining.  To have missed knowing you would have been the greatest loss I ever could have suffered.  You make everything all right.  You make me happier than I ever thought possible.  I am so excited to be coming home to you!  Love, Carole

 

Denise Kelly, Burt and Arlene and Craig Brestrup

Carole writes Howie 3 Apr 2003 17:20:04 EST 

 

Dear Howie,  Thank you so much for meeting with Alex and Jennifer on my behalf today.  You must have made quite an impression.  Alex was virtually breathless in his admiration of you.  I felt bad that you were working while I was playing tennis and taking the family out to lunch.  When I noted that to my mother, she considered it a moment and then remarked that she couldn't ever remember that sort of a situation occurring in my life.  How rare you are!  I promise not to make a habit of it.

 

I included the attached photo of you and I in the thank you cards that I sent out to the list you gave me, in case anyone comments on your mustache (or mine).  I hope your session went well and your computer is doing better.  I may get there before 7PM as Mel said the closing date on the contract was wrong and wants me to change it to 30 days out, and re-fax it.  

 

Email From:  Denise Kelly 

 

Hi Carole,  I was given your email by our friends, Burt and Arlene Alimansky.  They told me all about your wonderful sanctuary, which I've already read about last year.

 

I am also an animal advocate and am co-founder of a group called the Avian Welfare Coalition (AWC).  The AWC is a network representatives from avian and animal welfare groups, as well as professionals in the legal, veterinary and conservation community, who are dedicated to the ethical treatment and protection of captive exotic birds.  You can visit our website at avianwelfare.org.

 

I also work with Best Friends Animal Sanctuary as a representative for their publication, Best Friends magazine, here in New York.  Actually, I think we have another friend in common, Dr. Craig Brestrup, of the Association of Sanctuaries. Craig is a member of our coalition and several of our participants are accredited by TAOS. Craig is a wonderful person and has been very supportive of our efforts.

 

Irwin, my better half, and I do get to Florida quite a few times a year, and would love to visit your facility.  We have heard nothing but good things about it!  Anyway, I look forward to hearing back from you, as I'm sure we have a lot to talk about.  Bye for now, Denise Kelly

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazo

The Joy of Being With Howie Makes Up For All The Former Abuse By Men

 

Carole writes Howie 3/26/03:

 

Dear Howie,  I had to start the USDA meetings at 7:30 and just now broke for lunch and wanted to come spend it with you.  John Kirtland is here from Ringling (you met him at the open house) and he asked me to contact Richard Froemming again about allowing John to sit on our advisory board.  He said Richard has cancer and is spending most of his time in the hospital these days, but still has a

tremendously strong outlook.  I like Richard and wish to make contact with him to see if there is anything I can do to help him.  John seemed to think this whole experience has made Richard a better man from a spiritual standpoint and often that is just what illness is meant to do.  No sense suffering after you got the message though.

 

After you had filled out answers to 200 questions earlier in the day, I am sorry that I burdened you with two more (essay types at that).  Thank you for your heartfelt answers and for taking the time to further contemplate the one about your business decisions and to clarify your position to me.  It takes a lot of courage to admit fear.

 

My reason for asking that is to try and figure a way that we can help each other reach our fullest potential and to help us find ways that will enable us to experience our greatest satisfaction.  I can't even begin to know how to implement something like that if I don't know what you want.  Thus the question.  As usual, your answer was well thought out, well said and easily understood.  I appreciate you sharing it with me.

 

My question about your desires in a mate stem from not having any idea why you, of all people, aren't one of those ecstatically happy, married to the same woman for thirty years, types.  You well could have been a relationship consultant because you understand the dynamics of the golden rule and incorporate them into every one of your relationships.  You really are the rake (is that spelled right?  I've never read a romance novel).  The dark mysterious shroud about you is, "Why is this wonderful man single?"  What I am finding, as you described in the novels, is that there is no darkness in the reason.  The reason is perfectly justifiable, once the mystery is removed, and it turns out the hero really was a man of honour and integrity.  I'm just trying to figure out the mystery.

 

Also, I am fearful of inadvertently driving you away.  You will never hear me yell at you or anyone.  You will never hear me say nasty things to you, or anyone.  You can talk to my ex-husband and any man from my past to verify that I never yell and I am never mean.  I will give you contact info on all of them I can find if you wish to do so.  I was absolutely appalled at the way Mary spoke to Lewis on several occasions last Sunday, but particularly in respect to the glasses.  There is no thing of more value than your mate and I thought her tone and words were castratingly cruel.  There is no one that I have been more harsh with than my own daughter, and I expect far too much from her, but as you come to know her, I think you will find that she would not describe me as someone who has ever yelled or been nasty with her.

 

I've been told that my weakness in relationships is that I don't need anyone, or at least that I don't act like I do.  My second husband was having a hard time deciding between Pam and me.  She was ugly, incompetent, needy, spiteful and purposefully caused his divorce from Gladys in hopes that Don would marry her.  Later Gladys told me that Don had raped his 15 year old niece and that hadn't

helped matters.  When I asked our secretary, who knew Pam and I well, what it was that Don saw in her, Anne said "Pam needs him and you don't".  Thus began my career of cars breaking down and getting locked out of things so that Don could feel useful.  Fixing cars and breaking into locked houses and cars was Don's greatest talent, so I found a way for him to s

Lots of Voices In My Head And Their Voices Are Different

Carole writes Howie 3/25/03:

 

Dear Howie,  Note to self:  The hair dryer will defrost a baked potato, but if you turn it on high you will spend the rest of the night scraping the flaky fish off the walls and ceiling of the bathroom.

 

This morning I woke up startled that you were not there.  That lasted about a minute until I fully awakened and remembered why.  Then I felt lonely and decided to stay with that a moment and to then take it a step further:  What if I had seen you for the last time?  How would I feel about that?  I thought about how I had felt about that the day after Richard, Alan, Peter and Jay and how relieved I was that it was finally over.  I even feel that way, to a certain extent, about Don.  It has the weirdness of not being over, but from the standpoint of my life ever being about him, it is over and thankfully so.

 

There was nothing in me that would celebrate not having you in my life.  There was nothing that said to me it would allow an opportunity for something better.  That probably sounds strange, but even as much as I have taken on the responsibility for caring for others, and made their needs my needs, I always felt that my life would be easier without them.  You make my life easier.  You bring an element of security and stability that transcends any earthly issue.  You give me a sense of peace.

 

It is a lasting sense of tranquility that exceeds time and space.  As I held the question in my mind of how I would cope without you, I realized that having known you, having just known that you even existed on some ethereal plane, has been enough to make my life infinity better for all time.  If I were never to see or touch you again, I would feel sadness at that deprivation, but would still be able to carry on great joy with just the experience of having known a spirit of your caliber.  Having joined with your soul, I will always know you as a part of me, and will always find comfort in that union.   Don't get me wrong, the bed behind me is looking REALLY empty, but the good news is that I am not freaked out by that.

 

I was rushed all morning and never did get to properly say good-bye, but I told myself that I would have time tonight to do that.  How typical of me to think myself indestructible.  The approach to Atlanta was the absolute worst I have ever experienced, including all of my own lousy landings.  I was sure the pilot had never landed a plane before and as it lurched and nose dived I thought how

careless I had been in not taking the time to tell you how I felt before getting on that plane.  What if I had never been given this opportunity to tell you what a tremendous impact you have made on me?  I am always so overwhelmed with love and admiration for you, but I bite my tongue to keep from saying so, because I feel your discomfort when I do.  I hear the uncertainty or the lack of ease in your voice when you tell me you love me.  I am not sure if it is that you then feel you must reply, or if the words conjure up bad memories and association with actions that did not validate the meaning of the words.  I am often torn between the desire to tell you how I feel and the need to make you comfortable; and not really knowing how to do that.

 

I know you love me.  You make that abundantly clear in the way you treat me.  I don't know how I got off on this tangent, other than to say that I don't know how to tell you I love you without making you uncomfortable.  The inspiration for this letter was actually Wahn Penh, Tom and Ana's housekeeper.  I was telling Bob about the meeting that you arranged for us with Stephanie and he commented that it must be great that you have all of these wonderfully well connected people in your sphere of influence.  I told him that what impressed me more is how much all of these people love you.

 

I am not surprised that most of them think the world of you, because you really are a remarkable individual,

Momma Jacquie Makes Miraculous Recovery

Carole writes Howie on 3/23/03  

 

Dear Howie,  I couldn't be happier!  Watching you in the pool this morning, I imagined myself as each raindrop on your face.  I wanted to be warm and soothing as I dripped into your hair and ran rivulets down your cheeks.  I imagined being the water that you were immersed in and feeling your body moving through me.  I swirled in ecstasy around your nakedness wishing I were warmer for you so that the moment would last longer and be as pleasant for you as it was for me.  This morning in church I could feel your embrace.

 

Today my grandmother felt good enough to come to worship.  My mother said her doctor had been telling her that her preliminary tests were not good and that he had to send them out to see just how dire the situation was, but that he was suggesting she go ahead and move in with my Aunt and begin to accept that life was not going to be the same for her any more.  He was scaring everyone with his anticipation of the worst and that was further aggravated by the fact that he has been her doctor for a very long time and seemed to know the score. Since the episode in the hospital, when she took such a dramatic turn for the better, Momma Jacquie kept insisting that she was going to be "just fine".

 

Yesterday her doctor called her with the lab results and said he couldn't explain it, but that he just had to call and tell her she was right and that they can't find a single thing wrong with her.  My mother said that is something that he never should have told her because she is really riding high on being right.   She was weak but looked good.

 

My mother and I had a chance to visit a little and she said that she knew she liked you from the first time she met you, but that after working with you, she was even a greater fan of yours.  She said you are not like anyone I have ever brought into their life.  She described you as being "elegantly conservative".  She suggested that I try not to be too weird and scare you off.  She reiterated that

sentiment about the family in general in this email from her:

 

"Howie does have an easy-going personality and is very knowledgeable.  You can tell he is thinking things through before he speaks - that's good.  I hope it is not too stressful for him in getting to know our family.  I have the updated report in your box.  I am sending new discs to Andrea.  I can tell from the report we have duplicated some of her "journal" entries.  The mortgage payments and interest still are not showing on the report because they are under "Other Assets" and that does not show as "Income".  I will ask her how to show that when we are printing out the report for a grant request.  Love, Mom"

 

She said that after you left the other night, she told my father that I was serious about you and that he sat back and smiled.  Having never witnessed his opinion of any man in my life, I didn't know what that meant.  I waited for her to explain and she said, "That is a very positive response.  Every other time that I said, "Your daughter is getting involved with so-and-so" he would burst out into a tirade of every reason in the world that he didn't like the man and why that was a stupid thing for me to do.  This time he just relaxed and smiled."  Well, aren't you something special?

 

The lesson today was about Genesis 2:18 the verse about woman being created for man.  Brother Qualls illustrated that further with Gen. 24 which is the story of Abraham having his servant select a bride (Rebekkah) for Isaac from among his kindred back home.  The servant prayed that God would show him the right woman by this sign:  That when he asked the women at the well for a drink that

the right one would not only give him a drink but water his camels as well, which, of course, Rebekkah did.  (Does watering the cats count?)  The point was that a mate should be someone sent from God, someone who is loving and giving, one who is committed and one who

Don Makes Me the Sole Beneficiary of His Helicopter Brothers Investment Meanwhile, in Costa Rica Don on May 9, 1997 made me the sole executor and beneficiary of his Costa Rican will and if I were already deceased everything went to the cats. Found receipt for airplane fuel dated 7/26/97 for SYY CU 28.70 gallons paid cash by Don Lewis in receipts that were in the office trailer I brought from east Tampa to Easy Street. More evidence that his office staff knew Don was flying illegally.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

From the future: 2/25/2021 I emailed the person who sent me these saying, “These are some of the most exciting clips you have sent me because this was right after the amnesia and in my diary I was so fuzzy on when all of this was. Thanks!” She sent three dated 5/25/1989, 6/22/1989 and 6/25/1989 and the June ones had a new trainer, Denise Pace, so I had probably already broken up with Bill Benjamin by that time and were letting the horses go in claiming races.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Peace, Happiness and Joy

Carole writes Howie 3/21/03  Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles-

 

• An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

• Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.

• I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in...

• The fastest line at the grocery store.

• A good sing along song on the radio.

• Your keys right where you look.

• I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

• I wish You a day of Peace, Happiness and Joy.

 

They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

 

Thank you for arranging the meeting with Stephanie.  I cannot thank you enough for your support and generosity with your time in these matters that consume so much of my attention.  It is so difficult to find things that I can do for you as you are so self sufficient.  Paying you is the only way I can think of to keep my problems from being a burden for you.  When I am singing the blues about not being able to afford paid help at WOES, I am speaking only of that entity's ability to fund growth.  My real estate business is doing fine and now that I have been unleashed from all of the ridiculous expenses of the conservatorship it will recover nicely.  It's always easier the second time around because you've learned from the mistakes.  Please keep track of the time you spend on my behalf and we can argue later about how I can repay you. ;-). What would you recommend that we bring Stephanie?

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

If There is a Heaven, I Am Living It Now

Carole writes Howie 3/12/03:  

 

Dear Howie,  Sorry to hear of your frustration.  I hope the work out does the trick for you.  As for being ravished, I will always take my lead from you.  My desire is to please you and if that is seven times a week, or once a week, it is your decision and I am happy with whatever you choose.  I don't often initiate sex because I know that my desire will eventually be satisfied.

 

I was writing the following for the past couple of hours:

 

Dear Howie,  It's been one of those days where I wonder if it's real of if I'm making it up as I go along.  As I entered the courthouse, the guards all knew my name, even though I didn't recognize most of them.  Larry Herndon (the bird-dog I mentioned last night) who I haven't seen in over a year came running up to schmooze me.  I sat down in the auditorium and a familiar looking woman came and sat beside me.  I asked where I knew her from and she said, "If your name is Carole, we sat next to each other at a tax deed auction."  Shyly she asked if Bob was my husband, boyfriend or available.  She was wearing an engagement ring but I told her he'd love to hear from her and she said she would call.  

 

Now I remembered her.  She'd practically sat in my lap to get closer to Bob that day.  She was still was carrying his number but explained that she hadn't called because she couldn't ascertain the nature of our relationship.  I went out for coffee and ran into Larry Hodge, the man from church who is being considered as an Elder, that I introduced to you at Red Lobster.  He was here for jury duty as well.  We talked about the real estate business and crime until I was called.

 

Standing in the hall a familiar looking man came up to shake my hand.  I felt like a mule had kicked me in the kidneys and almost buckled from the impact of his hand in mine.  I couldn't place his face yet but I knew his health was severely compromised.  He told me his name was Gary Costello and that he had been a volunteer of mine 5 or 6 years ago.  He said he'd left because his health had been so bad.  He said he wasn't fairing any better these days, but asked if he got to feeling better if he would be welcome, since he had been the side kick to a woman that I dismissed for forcing a cat into a carrier.  (Judy Watson)  I told him that I didn't hold him responsible for her behaviour and that I would love to have him back.  I was trying to consciously shake the physical impact of touching him by reminding myself that I don't have to experience everyone's pain.  I reminded myself that to do so was only the Ego validating the experience and I don't need that sort of validation.  I was looking out the window and felt the wind in the leaves.  Then I became the wind and passed through the trees, through the clouds, through time...

 

I passed back through time to when you "put out to the Universe" that you were ready for me.  I reflected over the immediacy of being summoned to your side.  I didn't know what was happening.  I remembered ascending the winding incline at the aquarium, just a few steps behind you.  I could feel the discomfort in your lower back.  I could see pain in your gait.  I remember thinking, "If he'd let me

touch him, I could fix that."  I know that I have no power, but rather seem to just be a big amplifier between those who need help and the Source that is capable of giving it.

 

Despite your friendliness and apparently gregarious personality, I sensed a shyness that said, "If you touch him, he'll run like a scared rabbit."  Rather than touch you openly as we talked, I opted to move closer into your aura and touch you with mine.  When you left abruptly I figured I had intruded on your space by embracing your spirit too aggressively. From what you've said that wasn't' perceived, but what I found interesting about the entire encounter was that I wanted to touch you.  I felt that it was my responsibility, my calling, to aid you