Carole Baskins Diary

To Love Another Person is to See the Face of God

Howie writes Carole 12 Feb 2003 06:33:49 

 

Had to get up early for a 7am appointment.  Woke up at 5:30 and found myself wanting you.  At one point, as I laid there a few minutes in that half sleep before deciding to get up, I could have sworn you kissed me on the neck.  I know you do remote viewing.  Is there such a thing as remote kissing?

 

Sydney spent the entire night on the bed, which is somewhat unusual, almost like she knew she had to fill in for you.  Another of my favorite quotes, this one from Les Miz:  "To love another person is to see the face of God."  Hope you have a wonderful day.  See you tonight. - Howie

 

Carole writes Howie 

Dear Howie,  My timing for remote kissing was a bit off.  4:12 by my clock and you did the same thing to me, that I did to you.  In the early morning hours, when you get up, I always watch your silhouette against the soft light.  This morning, when I awoke, I thought it was at the sound of you getting up.  When I looked to where you would be rising, I saw your silhouette, but you just stood there with your back to me.  It wasn't until I crawled across the bed to nuzzle and kiss your back that I realized you weren't there.  As with your apparition, it was such a shock, rather than the obvious, that your physical presence was not there.

 

I did feel your spirit and wrapping "your" arms around me fell back off to sleep.  I am trembly today in the arms, but not in any pain.  That's a surprise.

 

Hope your morning meeting went well.  Was the roof fixed?  I am REALLY looking forward to tonight.  Tell Syd thanks for filling in.  The steam rising off the river is captivating.  It is barely illuminated by the sun peeking through the trees and even the squirrels seem to be in reverence of the dawn.  I hope your day is as beautiful and tranquil. - Carole

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Howie Wants Me to Put Jamie First

 

(Jamie did all of her own cooking and cleaning from the time she could use a stool to reach the counters)

 

Howie writes Carole 11 Feb 2003 19:19:54

 

You are welcome to pop in by surprise any time you want.   Today at noon you would have found a funny scene.  I got myself stuck up on the roof (yes, again).  Fortunately I had the hose with me.  I tied it to a vent, prayed that the vent and the hose would hold, and lowered myself.  What an idiot. 

 

I hope I'm not overburdening your calendar and you can decline any of my invitations with no issue, but I now find I have to be in NY March 30 for the 50th birthday party of the sister of my long time friend Marshall.  His parents have been like a second set of parents to me.  Would be thinking to make it a 3 day, 2 night trip and see friends in NY and then go upstate to Poughkeepsie for the event and see my one remaining aunt who turns 90 this year and is still wonderfully sharp.  Anyway, would love to have you join me and could gear the specific days in front of or behind 30th to your schedule if you are able and would like to go.  - Howie

 

Carole writes Howie At 05:33 PM 2/11/03 :

 

Dear Howie,  Najla sounds like the perfect mate or life partner in her attitudes expressed in the section titled:  The Power of Belief.  What greater gift can a person give their loved one than that sense of unconditional love and the commitment to champion their cause.  You have given that to me.  I have no higher calling than to reciprocate in kind.  

 

Strange, I have had the same sensation in missing you.  I wanted to drop by this morning, because I was in the area (OK, Dale Marbry north of Waters).  I wanted to stop by on the way to the Harbor Island club and then again afterwards, but decided I would appear needy and heaven forbid...  How odd.

 

I really enjoyed the tennis lesson and signed on for six more.  I have misplaced the one week card, but Dan said I don't need it to access the courts as long as I am scheduled for classes.  Next one is Thursday morning at 8:00 am.  What was I thinking?  I guess that just about insures that I will spend the night Wednesday.  I cannot believe that I found this physically challenging.  

 

I picked up two king feather pillows (that I can live with) for your place, a cookie sheet (bet you didn't know I knew what that was called) and a set of six little fork like things for the snails.

 

I have to leave in 5 minutes and the electric guys are still here so I haven't had a bath, nor shaved, nor washed my hair, so I am not likely to show up at your door later.  I will miss you (even more than I did during the day) and will greatly look forward to tomorrow after church around 9:15 PM.  Today was amazingly productive.  Hope yours was too. - Carole

 

Howie writes Carole 11 Feb 2003 19:26:34

 

Re the purchases, you are so sweet, but I am becoming afraid to mention my shopping list to you.  And I have a 20% coupon to Bed,Bath Beyond that I just put by the door so I could stop on the way to you Friday.  Somewhat like the Quidam tickets, I really do appreciate it, but l would also urge some restraint?  By the way, I'm also thinking of getting myself a new Rolex watch.  :-)  (That was a joke - honest!  It occurs to me you might not think so. :-))

 

Sorry not to see you tonight.  For future reference, you are always welcome to show up disheveled and do your tidying here.

 

Just to remind you of something I mentioned earlier, I really, really do not want Jamie feeling like you cut short an evening with her and Daniel to get to me.  If you guys are having a good time and the evening lingers, don't be looking at your watch or leaving when everyone is having fun.  You can arrive here as late as you want, or just call to let me know you won't be here, but please complete the evening with her as if you were not planning to be here.   Thanks.

 

P.S.  Bob, of course, you can walk out on as you wish.  :-)

 

Carole writes Howie  11 F

One White Rose in a Dozen Red Ones

Carole writes Howie 8 Feb 2003 18:37:30 EST 

 

Dear Howie,  You are the dearest, sweetest man.  I've been on the road all day and before my phone died Jamie called to say a box that looked like flowers had arrived and was driving all the volunteers crazy wondering who sent them to their "mom".  They are beautiful and your choice of arrangement touched me deeply.  I will be thinking of you all the way to Ruskin and back tonight.  Of course, I would have been thinking of you anyway, but this makes the thoughts all the lovelier.  Thank

you.  I love you (and if you don't believe me, I'll SHOW you when you get home) Love, Carole

 

Howie writes Carole 08 Feb 2003 20:38:02 

 

Sounds like I better take my vitamins tomorrow morning.  Look forward to seeing you whenever you get there.  Drive safely with that load! - Howie

 

Carole writes Howie 8 Feb 2003 22:53:37 EST Subject: Ruskin To: [email protected]

 

Dear Howie,  I had the choice of driving the spay trailer to Ruskin tonight or being there and unloaded before 6 am, so I went tonight.  The ride went well, and I only had a little trouble getting out from under it.  I am just thoroughly wiped out though and won't last two minutes once I hit the sack.  I just wanted to thank you again for your thoughtfulness.  The roses are just gorgeous and the arrangement is absolutely breathtaking.  Driving home with them in the front seat of the truck they were quivering the same way you make me shiver in ecstasy.  You are the greatest! - Carole

 

Poem for Howie Inspired by Roses

 

Carole writes Howie 10:53 PM 2/8/03:

 

The Gift of Your Love

 

I miss you when you're far away

Or just across this town

I miss you more, when e'er my day

Has been less up than down

 

I long for you and cannot wait

To be with you once more!

The roses that came to my gate

From you, whom I adore

 

Were fragrant sweet and petal soft

Just like your tender kiss

Reminding me how strong and oft

Of you I reminisce

 

The kindness and the love you show

Mean more than words can tell

I wonder if you truly know

The passion you compel?

 

Are you so good for your own sake

'Cause you can't help but be?

Or is the goodness I partake

A gift from you to me?

 

For every kiss and sweet caress

Feels like the World you've giv'n

Not only momentary bliss

But a piece of heaven!

 

For Howie Baskin

By Carole Ann Stairs 2/9/03

 

Howie writes Carole 09 Feb 2003 08:21:49

I woke this morning out of a dream in which we were simply standing without clothes and I was gently running my hands over you.  It was not even really a sexual dream in a way.  I was just enjoying touching you.  This dream was so incredibly vivid that I honestly was startled when I awoke and for a moment simply could not believe it was a dream.  It was more like it was real and the kind of astonishment I would have if you suddenly vanished into thin air.  Which, now that I think about it, it occurs to me you may actually be able to do that and have not yet told me? :-)

 

I'm glad you like the roses. - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epi

I Introduce Howie to Staff and Volunteers

 

Carole writes Howie At 12:31 PM 2/7/03 -0500:

 

Who could have known that beneath that serious facade would dwell such a romantic?!  Every time I think of you I take a deep breath and feel at peace.

 

Should I?  Shouldn't I? Should I...  what the heck.  From my journal this morning:

 

Last night I introduced Howie to the staff and volunteers at WOES during the Oldsmar Chamber of Commerce mixer.  On the way home, in the glow of this new revelation of our mutual feelings, the theme song from Love Story came on the radio.  Howie turned it up and we listened; each of us savouring the words and the moment in our own way.  The next song to play was the theme song

from The Titanic.  Howie's previous reference was to the movie in which a man gives up his life to keep the woman he loves alive after the sinking of the great ship.  The tension was broken by both of us recognizing the music and bursting into laughter when I said, "Of course!  The sinking ship song!  How appropriate!"

 

In considering his analogy, I know he would never let me give him the last seat on a life boat, but I couldn't take it in his place either.  Even thinking of all the people and animals that depend on me, I couldn't save my own life and live it without him.  I wouldn't be of any use to anyone ever again if I were to have to face life without him.  I have never felt this way before.  Could it be that I actually

NEED someone?

 

Our lovemaking last night was with an even deeper understanding and connection to each other.  It seemed that time stood still in the rapture of our embrace.  When he wraps his arms around me I feel safe for the first time in my life.  I know that this gentle giant is emotionally incapable of hurting me because it would be so foreign to his nature.  His touch is so soothing, so healing and so empowering.  I just can't get enough of him.

 

Wave after wave of emotion coursed through our bodies.  I am overwhelmed with feeling that I have FINALLY found a good man.  A man I can look up to, a man I can be proud of, a man I can love without fear.  In that hypnotic way that he gazes straight into my soul, he broke the silent reverie of my thoughts with one sentence, "I love you, so very much!"

 

I breathed in his words.  I let the profound sincerity of his manner soak in through every pore.  I don't know if seconds passed, or moments or hours.  I had waited a lifetime, or more, to know the bliss of this moment.  The welling up of love for him spilled over in my own words, "I love you!  I love you SO much!" and was followed by heaving sobs of joy.  He held me while I cried and tried to comfort me, I suppose from not knowing the full reason behind my tears.  I explained that I was crying because I had never been so happy.  I have never known such joy.  I am so happy!  Thank you God!

 

Last night was his first night to stay over at the island.  I will be going to his place tonight and can't wait to feel his arms around me again.

 

Should I hit send or delete... If you are reading this, I am more exposed than I ever thought I would allow.  - Carole

 

Howie writes Carole 07 Feb 2003 14:07:27 -0500

 

Thank you for the bravery of hitting "send".

 

No, you don't "need" me, and if something happened to me, you would definitely survive like you have survived so much else.  But that does not in any way take away from the wonderment of what we are both experiencing.  I'm not as good at writing about it, and maybe not as brave at saying it, but I believe I share it equally.  What my diary said, a few weeks ago, is that for the first time in my life I feel a sense of purpose.  The happiness you have given me in the last few weeks seems to dwarf the happiness I have had in all my prior years.  And what is really exciting is that we are just on Chapter 1.  I hope it is a very long book. - Howie. 

 

Carole writes Howie At 07:48 AM 2/7/03:

 

This was my mother's response to the blossoming of our love.

 

1 C

Howie Tells Me He Loves Me & That I Am The First

 

Carole writes Howie:At 10:27 AM 2/6/03 -0500:

 

Dear Howie,  I did not feel that you were prying and you did not come across as being jealous.  I don't know how you deal with things yet, and thus don't know how to avoid making you uncomfortable.  I guess I am much like an ostrich in that I reason, "What I don't know won't hurt me."  When my husband didn't come home at night, I never asked where he had been, because I felt it would force him into a position of lying to me and I hate being lied to.  He was probably lying when he would present me with a myriad of wild tales, but I never questioned it, because I really didn't want to know.

 

That is a large part of why I don't ask you where you are going, or what you are doing, or did.  I believe that if you want me to know, you will tell me and if you don't want me to know, my asking probably wouldn't elicit anything I wanted to hear.  I asked you about any possible drug addictions because that really is something I cannot live with.  People are weird enough without adding the uncertainty of chemical imbalance.

 

Speaking of weird, I don't find Taurus dull at all.  You have such a foreign way of approaching things that I find it infinitely interesting.  I did like the tie though ;-)

 

I want you to be comfortable and communication is the biggest part of any relationship.  I just need to know what you prefer.  I will answer any question you have about Bob, unless it would be a breach of his trust in some manner.  I didn't bring him up or volunteer stuff about how he and I are adjusting to this platonic role we have agreed to, because I feel that at some level it still must be threatening to you.  If you felt this strong desire to spend time with a woman who was making it clear she wanted more from you, I would feel jealous (despite my insistence to the contrary).

 

Bob isn't at all shy about asking why I have chosen you over him.  As far as I can, without hurting his feelings, nor breaching any areas of trust with you, I answer his questions, but I never volunteer anything.  I have told him that you bring tranquility and stability to my life.   He says that is what I bring to his.  I've told him that you observe everything about me and respond with such precision that I know you understand me (or can at least accept me).  He says that's why he is so drawn to me.  I get him, when it seems no one else does.  I've told him that I look up to your morals and values and that I share these same beliefs.  Bob looks up to mine, and sees them as his own.  As I write this, it seems apparent that you are to me, what I am to him.

 

There is such a synergy there that I really feel I need to get to know him better, to learn whatever lessons are there to be learned.  I enjoy being in his space and touching him because I feel connected to a life force and spirituality that is stronger than my own, but I don't desire him sexually.  There is a tremendous passion there, but for me it is not something that reaches its culmination in sex.  For him it does and he is finding this to be more difficult than he had originally thought.  I fully expect to be given an ultimatum at which time the choice seems even easier to make, because then there is no doubt about the depth of his love.

 

Your love for me as a person superseded your needs and there is no greater love than that.  (Yes, I said the L word first, but I won't make a habit of it until we come to a consensus on its meaning)  My longing for you increases.   My passion for you keeps growing stronger.  My admiration for you grows deeper with every conversation.  I appreciate the freedom you have given me to sort all of this out.  Please help me to know how to best show you that appreciation. - Carole

 

 

Howie writes Carole 06 Feb 2003 15:04:34 -0500 Subject: Love

 

If I don't come home to you at night, you can be sure that with my sense of direction, I am simply lost.

 

The only thing I ne

"I knew you before, in a previous life"

Carole writes Howie 5 Feb 2003 01:06:35 EST 

 

Dear Howie,  I look forward to your return.  I will be attending the Animal Advisory Board at 6:30 downtown and then come straight to your place.  I don't know how long the meeting is likely to last.

 

I had to go to the D.O.T. today to take a look at their plans for the road widening project on 301 in Z-hills.  I had called and spoke with a woman named Gordana Jovanovic, who acted like she just couldn't let me off the line.  I went to her office at 5PM and as soon as we were in the hall alone, she said she knew me.  I told her she had probably seen one of the T.V. pieces on WOES and she said that

she knew my voice on the phone.  I never forget a voice (names yes, voices no) and again reiterated that she probably heard me in an interview.  She took me by the arm, stopping me and looked me straight in the eye and said, "I knew you before, in a previous life".  She seemed to have no fear that I would take offense of such an unusual assumption by a public servant.

 

I asked if we spoke in her tongue before ( a heavy Slovak accent) because I didn't remember anyone from before having such an accent.  She smiled knowingly, as if I remembered her.  Actually, I don't.  I felt very comfortable with her on the phone and in standing there staring into her eyes, but I cannot say I remember her.

 

The only thing that was really outstanding to me, in her office, was a photo on the wall that looked like she had blown up from a vacation.  It looked like my idea of the perfect vacation spot, but lots of people are drawn to palms and sand and clear blue water.

 

I finished the driving course and passed the final exam.  I have NO idea why I am still awake.  I've had milk and oatmeal and a glass of wine and feel like I could run a marathon.  I signed on for another year as the Big Cat writer for Animals, Exotic and Small.  It is my third year writing for them.  They let me publish whatever I want, so most of it is aimed at encouraging a higher standard of care and responsibility to the animals and each other.  I probably should actually write something about big cats.

 

The bobcat looks good, but Jamie thinks he is in shock and won't make it.  She has a good sense for such things, but I am not ready to give up on him.  I spent a considerable amount of time in his field of vision, but at a distance, so that he could see how the bobcats near him respond to me.  He will either know it is safe to trust me, or that he is surrounded by idiots, depending on his perspective.  He ate yesterday and that is a very good sign.  I am still hoping that he will be a candidate for release.

 

Frank Sanchez wrote back and said:   Dear Ms. Lewis,  I just cannot offer myself up at this time for fear I would disappoint - unless it is truly only my name you need?  Email my campaign manager, Maryann Blitz ([email protected])  Also, Marianne Williamson is coming in an event to support me!  Staff should be in touch.  All the best,  Frank

 

I wrote his campaign manager and asked for her advice on how to proceed, and let Frank know that his name would help me to attract the like-minds I am looking for and would give my supporters more of a reason to get involved in his campaign.  I assured him that I wouldn't waste his time.  I feel I am being pushy, but his question allowed me to stick my foot back in the door.  Persistence is omnipotent...

 

The county attorney called me today to say that despite her spending four months trying to clear us, the Human Rights people, at the insistence of our fired volunteer Patricia Fry, were going to take us to hearing.  The county attorney said that no such case has ever gone to hearing in all the time she has been there, as she can usually resolve them.  I agreed to all of the county's terms, but the former volunteer insists on having her day in court, so we are on for March 3. I asked if there were formal charges being filed and the

Howie Thinks of Me Showering

Howie writes Carole:  28 Jan 2003 07:06:38 -0500

 

Sometimes I feel like you are just invading my mind.  I was just standing over the sink running the water to shave, and I guess the running water triggered this wonderful image of watching you shower through glass blocks.  Of course, the image was interrupted when part of me suddenly smacked into the vanity.  See you soon. - Howie

 

Howie Loves My Love Letters

Carole writes Howie At 08:32 AM 1/30/03:

 

Dear Howie,  I hope you know that I have much more than just a thought of you at the end of the day.  I think about you all day.  You are like an ever-present guardian that I consult and lean on throughout the day.  I try to look at things as I think that you might to give myself a different perspective.  When I talk about you, people always comment that they think I need someone like you who is "rock solid."  I never used that term when referring to you, but there must be something in the way I portray you that infers that strength of character.  (That, or anyone who doesn't run around barefoot, with flowers in his hair and talking to himself has got to be better anchored than I am.)

My back is well enough today I think I can skate.  I just pulled it Monday and aggravated it worse in the next couple days.  I would like to try the laser for that sometime though.  It sure helped with my other problems.

I read this quote and thought of the way in which you always seem to get to the heart of a matter.  Madame de Sevigny (La Marquise de Sevigne) remarked to GB Shaw in one of those famous letters, "Forgive me for writing at such length, but I hadn't the time to be brief."  Always thinking of you.  - Carole

 

Howie writes to Carole:  I love your emails.   Sometimes I read the 3 or 4 times.  You have a wonderful way of articulating feelings.  Probably best if I never meet any of these people.  You are so credible, they'll believe your glowing description and I'll never be able to live up to it!  :-). The couple of hours tonight waiting for you to appear in my doorway seems like the longest couple hours I've ever spent. - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only and is my opinion.

Getting Past Don and That Chapter of My Life

Howie writes Carole 04 Feb 2003 07:40:55 -0500

 

Last night after shutting down my computer I continued to see an image of you sitting with the certificate in your hand drifting.  I wondered if maybe you were seeking Don to say goodbye.  But mostly, I was sorry not to be there just to hold you while you drifted.  I continue to be amazed at the way you have overcome so many challenges in your life.  I hope today is a very good day for you. - Howie

 

Carole wrote Howie:  You inspire me:

 

           The Next Chapter 

 

 

A piece of paper says it all

In one hand now I hold the past

And when I file the chapter closed

My spirit will be free at last

 

Now the time has finally come

To know the lessons that were learned

Were worth the price I had to pay

Instead of lost through bridges burned

 

Life keeps unfolding, page by page

With twists and turns throughout its plot

A never-ending story line

Of memories and things forgot

 

No sense re-reading chapters closed

Or pondering on what seemed strange

When reading it a million times

Cannot the final outcome change

 

The future's pages still are blank

And yet await the author's hand

So on the saga will ensue

Until the earth time here is spanned

 

I have the chance to change its course

And write it as I'd have it be

My dear, sweet friend, I'd like to ask

If you would write this book with me?

 

Carole Ann Stairs 2/4/03

 

Dear Howie,  I woke up crying and can't seem to stop.  I think it is a good thing.  A letting go.  Your words touched me deeply and I feel you holding me now as I toss about on this sea of emotion.  Even at a distance I feel that you are here for me.  Your analogy to a book was perfect.

 

Your friends sound like people I would like to know better.  My mother sent the following this morning and I thought you might enjoy some of these although most have been around a long time.

 

21 Wise Sayings

 

1. The best way to get even is to forget...

2. Feed your faith and your doubts will starve to death.

3. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts...

4. Some folks wear their halos much too tight...

5. Some marriages are made in heaven, but they ALL have to be maintained on earth...

6. Unless you can create the WHOLE universe in 5 days, then perhaps giving "advice" to God, isn't such a good idea.

7. Sorrow looks back, worry looks around, and faith looks up...

8. Standing in the middle of the road is dangerous. The traffic from both ways will knock you down.

9. Words are windows to the heart.

10. A skeptic is a person who when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it's a forgery.

11. It isn't difficult to make a mountain out of a molehill, just add a little dirt.

12. A successful marriage isn't finding the right person-it's being the right person.

13. The mighty oak tree was once a little nut that held its ground.

14. Too many people offer God prayers with claw marks all over them.

15. The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.

16. To forgive is to set the prisoner free, and then discover the prisoner was you.

17. You have to wonder about humans, they think God is dead and Elvis is alive.

18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

19. You'll notice that a turtle only makes progress when it sticks out its neck... 

20. If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher.

21. And last but not least -- God gave the angels Wings, and He gave humans CHOCOLATE!!!!!

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of c

Don’s Death Certificate Arrives

 

Carole writes Howie At 09:42 PM 2/3/03 -0500:

 

Dear Howie,  I am glad you are there and safe.  I just got through judging the WOES photo contest and am getting ready to post the winners.  The contest raised 640.00 at 5.00 per entry and it was a hard decision.

 

Ch. 20 says they will send out a crew and film a one hour program on us and several PSA's.

 

A bobcat (Alachua Bob) was hit by a car in Gainesville and referred to us.  His pelvis was crushed and he is an older cat, so the vet doesn't think he will ever be able to go back to the wild.  One of the vet techs there is a big fan of ours from the web site and wants to see the facility, so she is driving him down tomorrow.

 

Don's death certificate arrived today.  I read it and looked out the window.  Some time later I realized the sun had gone down.  I don't know where I went.  It left me in a really weird mood.  This may be the closest thing I get to closure but many of the blanks were filled in with the word UNKNOWN so it didn't help much.

 

I bladed on the beach today.  That was nice.  I haven't done that in over a year.  The access road is a lot bumpier than Bayshore, but the view was wonderful.

 

All the stuff I was interested in redeemed today before the sale.  Turns out that trailer didn't have a septic and couldn't get one.  Learning that before the sale was very fortuitous.  I almost bid on a 2000.00 lot, but found out while researching the files this morning that there was a 44,500.00 lien on it that was held by the county, meaning it wouldn't go away.

 

I am exhausted, so I am going to wash my hair and go to bed.  I hope you manage to stay warm.  - Carole

 

Howie writes Carole 03 Feb 2003 22:55:08 -0500

 

Sorry it was a bad day for real estate, but glad it was a good one for WOES.

 

I can picture you in a trance with the certificate.  Seems like a natural and appropriate reaction, and I hope you do at least get some level of closure.  Whether that book is as fully closed as you would like or not, I hope I have opened another one that you can look forward to reading.

 

I had dinner with Salim tonight in a wonderful French restaurant, seated at the window seat looking out at NY at night.  Not a place I'd want to live, as much as Salim would like me to move up to work with him, but it really can be an interesting place.  Was sipping Cabernet and wishing you were here.  Perhaps sometime we could visit together?

 

I had totally forgotten that years ago Salim had visited WOES on my recommendation after I had been there.  So when I started to talk about it, he reminded me that he had been there.  And his reaction was much like Cameron's.  He remembered how awesome it was to be just a few feet from the tigers.  Salim is a very spiritual unusual person and quite a philosopher.  I think you will enjoy meeting him.  His sister is sort of a psychic coach who is able to diagnose illnesses and advise people.  Kind of runs in the family.

 

Anyway, time to turn in.  Since you won't read this until morning, I hope you had a good night with good dreams.  For the Minutes. - Howie

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet.  

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Ch

Networking with Big Wigs

Carole writes Howie At 08:52 AM 1/29/03 -0500:

 

Have fun at golf.  I had a great time last night.  I went to volunteer for the Frank Sanchez campaign and ended up at the Mayoral debates sponsored by The Organization of Black Affairs.  In a room of about 200 people, I was one of only maybe 5 white people.  Blacks are not traditionally crazy about big cats and I can honestly say I only have one die hard supporter in the black community and who should I walk up and sit next to but him?  I now have tons of friends in the black community, including key contacts at the St. Pete Times and WMNF who says they will do a program on us.

 

James Ransom, my friend, serves the county as sort of the ethics police and from what I saw in the room is loved by everyone.  Frank Sanchez came over to hug him and James reintroduced me with a glowing rendition of my life's accomplishments to date.   When James told Frank that I had just signed up as a volunteer on his behalf he hugged me with such emotion that I thought he was crying when he said "Bless you!"  I took advantage of the moment this morning by asking Frank to sit on my Advisory Board because we have 4276 families in Tampa that support us.  In H.C. there are 390,000 households and over 500,000 dogs and cats, so the pet vote is a big one and his association with us could only help.

 

They took a straw vote last night and Frank had 40% of the vote with the next highest being Pam Iorio at 27%.  I liked her and she seems to be a highly ethical person, but she doesn't have the business skills and experience that he has.  Did you know he was from Harvard?  I don't live in the City limits, so I can't vote, but I think he is just what Tampa needs and will be a great advocate for us whether he is willing to serve on the board or not.  It is warming up here.  I have to give a tour this morning, then lunch with Mom, Jamie and Daniel.  I miss you and look forward to your return.

 

Carole writes Howie:  29 Jan 2003 22:16:50 EST 

 

Dear Howie,  Today was a great day.  Scott gave a tour to a guy who turned out to be worth 160 million and who is the Nascar driver you see on the cola machines all over the place.  He supports a road side zoo and the greyhound rescue groups and we are his new favourite place.  (He never did donate) I met with Alexandria and Beth today for a 3 hour tour.  Alex helps raise funds for Shambala and Exotic Cat Breeding Facility and says she's never seen anyplace run as well as ours and wants to help us from Michigan.  I am meeting with her tomorrow as well.  Beth is the significant other to one of the Detroit Tigers and is trying to get them to do something public with or for us.  It was her second time here.  She came last year when the Tigers were here for training and did the Big Cat Expedition.

 

Tomorrow I meet with Catherine from MOSI who has the hot air balloon company.  She wants to show me plans she wants to develop into a joint venture in which she picks people up for a balloon ride and then delivers them to us for the safari (our Big Cat Expedition) and then back to her for the evening ride.  She says she has plans to advertise it on the balloon which would give us a lot more exposure.  Scott has been working on that lead and just invited me to see what she is presenting tomorrow.

 

The guy from James Auto Body, who wants to do the billboard for us, has been missing me all day in telephone tag, but that should be resolved soon.

 

I made a 100k offer on a house in Carrollwood but haven't heard from the bank.  I think I could make a quick 20k on it.  The bank has two offers of 115k each, but the people have to get financing and I can't imagine a bank financing it in it's current condition.  The bank that owns it says they won't.  Probably the best news in all of that is that I reconnected with Mel Bermudez of 3Palaces Realty.  He used to be a competitor of mine, and told me he was injured badly a couple years ago and couldn't do the f