Richard worked with his crew up at the lake house today.  That evening, after church I met him at his office and then we went out to eat at El Toro’s.  He introduced me to his tenants there and I had soup because I have been fasting for a week.  Richard had a grape chicken dish that was out of this world.

 

There was a pianist and a singer that I liked a lot.  The singer was an older woman, dressed like a gypsy in sequins and headband and the pianist seemed to really enjoy his work.  We had been working on a lease revision and took it with us, but the ambiance was so terrific that the paperwork was set aside.  I am so impressed that not only can he read a lease but that he can actually think one through well enough to modify it.   When we went to the condo, I took the papers again, but still didn’t’ work on them.  One thing led to another and in the heat of our pleasing each other, he asked me to get on top of him.  I knew I shouldn’t but wild horses couldn’t have pulled me off of him.

 

Now what?  So much for all of our will power.  So much for my proving that I could be faithful to a man a year after he left me.  I hate that I am such a sinner, but know that God will forgive, but would Richard?  I agonize that he will always look back on this moment of weakness with disdain.  He says that he doesn’t believe I should put my life on hold for five years, just because it is an arbitrary number accepted by law, but can he help but wonder, what if it were he who was missing?

 

We have talked about this a lot.  He would make someone such a good mate, but I can’t fully consummate such a relationship for many years.  Even though I could obviously violate all that I believe in to have a physical relationship with him, I cannot openly declare my love for him.  For fear of losing my business and the public support from people who have now glamorized Don’s involvement in WildLife on Easy Street I cannot tell these people the truth about Don or how I feel.

 

My family and those at church know what Hell I went through being married to Don and I would feel comfortable proclaiming my feelings for Richard to them.  These are the people who matter most to me, but the masses, who know only the image of Don that I painted for them, are the ones who would be most critical of him.  Is it fair for me to want him to love me when I cannot openly proclaim my love for him? I want to shout from the roof tops that I have met a decent man!  I want the world to know that there is one left.  I want to bore everyone to tears with every detail of every moment I spend with him.  I want him to know how proud I am to be the one he’s with.

 

I can’t tell everyone, so I haven’t told him either.  Why is this?  When everything inside me wants to say “I love you” a thousand times a day, why do I bite my tongue?  I wouldn’t have made love with him if I didn’t love him, but I didn’t tell him so.  Why not?

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

Wendell Williams says “before Don exp...”

I noted the following in an email:

 

In Wendell’s deposition Friday he slipped and said, “...before Don exp...Disappeared”.  The only thing I can think of that he would have been about to say was “expired”.  I believe that if there was foul play in Don’s disappearance that Anne and Wendell are behind it.  The court reporter may or may not have picked up his slip of the tongue.  I want to be sure that the tapes are preserved and listened to by the Sheriff’s department as to this one sentence.  I believe he was answering the question of the time frame in which the Brockway first arrived at Westshore.  What can I do to protect this tape and perhaps even get a copy? 

 

I never got a copy and don’t know if the Sheriff’s did either.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

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You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

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Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

Fishing and Thinking of Big Daddy

I went fishing with Richard Martin, Larry and his son Joey.  Richard Martin introduced me to his friends at the bait shop who all recognized me from the St. Pete Times article where I was pictured kissing Simba on the nose.  Richard Martin baited our hooks and told me to keep the bait active looking.

 

It was drizzling rain and I was thinking about BigDaddy.  The last time I stood on the Gandy bridge and fished was with him and I was maybe four or five years old.  I caught a fish that day and was so proud.  All the other men on the dock congratulated this little kid for reeling in such a big fish and my grandfather just beamed.  I thought back to our 5 am fishing expeditions on Lake Keystone when I was nine or so.  He never said much and what he did was always funny.  He had such a dry wit, that I had to stay on my toes to catch what he said.  I knew he loved me and I cry now even thinking about it.  I told him I loved him, but not near often enough.

 

He died last November after struggling since the previous August with brain cancer.  I can’t even think about him with bursting into tears.

 

I was glad it was raining and that Richard Martin wouldn’t notice me crying on the bridge.  I felt a pull on the line and gave the pole to Richard Martin to reel in.  It was a pretty little trout and he put it in the bait bucket until we all agreed to set it free.  I was glad he wanted to do that.  He had said that he didn’t’ like to kill any animal and this proved it to me.  Why am I always looking for evidence?  It would be nice to just accept something a person says at face value.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

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You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

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Mindy Harrell Bitten by Jumanji Leopard

 

September 2, 1998 Citrus Park, FL: Black leopard bites volunteer attempting to pet animal through cage at Wildlife on Easy Street. Wounds to arm required 451 stitches to close.  The volunteer, Mindy Harrell, admitted she was breaking the rules and was not allowed to return to the property.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

I wanted to call Richard and say something stupid, like “Happy September!”  I never call men, so I finally got over the urge, but thought I must be crazy to  even want to say such a thing.  I have never had any desire to call “Mr. America” with all of his good looks and money and his admitted obsession with me.  One call is all it would take to have him wrapped around my little finger and yet I run from him.  He told me that only once before had he fallen so hard and she had died 10 years ago. Unsolved Mysteries returned my call and said they may still want to do a story on Don.  I’d like to know what happened to him, but I don’t want him back.

 

From the future:  I’m trying to remember Mr America’s first name.  His last name was Collins and I think his first name was Tom, but not sure now (20 years later)  Collins Ranch Road was named after his family’s orange grove business.   He used to peel oranges for me and took great pride in the fact that he could remove the peel in one long loop.  Weirdly, Don used to do that too.

 

I think I may have met Collins via Lance Ponton, but am not sure.  He’d call me up in the middle of the night and always seemed so lost and forlorn.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

Keith Gaynor called and told me he thought Easy Street was worth well over 6,000,000.00 and said that he would be in town in a few weeks.  I had only met him once, but his attraction to me was obvious.  The fact that he didn’t act on it had kept him higher in my esteem than most men I meet.  I had met him several Sundays ago when I went to the Hyatt for dinner at Armani’s and it was closed.  I went down to the bar in the lobby to ask about another place to eat and he was sitting there alone.  He made some dinner suggestions and we had gotten to talking.  We talked for hours about real estate, sharks, politics, zoning and bad investments.  His worst was a 5 mil loss, which by far exceeds my $150,000 race horse losses.

 

Re: Racehorses.  When Pam Enriquez was making it unbearable for me to show my face at the Courthouse for the auctions, I had tried to make a go of it claiming, training and racing horses.  That was certainly not my idea, but rather was to assist Bill Benjamin, who had nearly lost his legs helping me.  My car had stalled in the middle of the night on the 1-4 exit ramp to Clearwater.  He and another man were pushing, as I was steering, when a woman, asleep at the wheel of her Mercedes, plowed into the back of my 1983 blood red Volkswagen Rabbit, pinning his legs.  I think that would have been around 1987 or so.  I ended up with amnesia from hitting my head on the frame of the windshield during the impact, so I am not very clear on the time frame.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

We Stipulate to the Asset Distribution and Management I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views. If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story. The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/ I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story. My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile! Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

Richard’s Lakehouse on Lake Island Ford

 

Chuck, Momma Jacquie and Carole on the boat in Lake Keystone circa 1970

 

Richard Martin asked me to come see his place at Lake Island Ford on Crescent Road.  He showed me the road he built with wash out from a rock mine, the orange grove and the tenant who isn’t paying.  The house and grounds were like out of my most comfortable memories of living near my grand mother and grand father on Lake Keystone.  The house was wood and brick and sprawling to take full advantage of the glorious view.

 

The house was in disrepair as if it had been abandoned for several years.  The dust was an inch deep on the player piano, the memorabilia and the slot machines.  It looked like a place that used to hold so many happy memories but had been long forgotten.  On the boat docks the wood was rotting from neglect, the screens were torn and blowing mournfully in the evening breeze.

 

Richard has stopped on the way there and picked up shrimp, muscles, bean salad and potato salad for us to eat in the Jacuzzi while we watched the game.   He pealed them and fed me.  I pealed them and fed him.  It just felt so “normal”, like we had always been this way.  He kissed me, but differently this time.  This time his kisses were passionate and I felt so carried away.  My heart was pounding and my breathing accelerated and he asked me why it was I wasn’t turned on.  Was he kidding?

 

That weekend I was scheduled to be at Peter Fortunato’s seminar:  One Step Beyond in Orlando.  Wally and Barbara Wolcott were there and I met John Schaub and his wife.  The seminar was great.  I learned a lot.  You have no other choice when in Pete’s company, but I couldn’t get Richard out of my mind!

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.

This was my letter to David Karp at the St. Pete Times (813) 226-3352

 

You asked what was still being done to find Don and probably the most notable, I didn’t even mention because I see it every day.  The poster of Don and Nyla (leopard) that we distributed for months following his disappearance was also circulated in Costa Rica and is still in the windows of my car, our house keeper’s car, my daughter’s car and many of our volunteers.  After you left, I looked around the parking lot at all of the signs and couldn’t believe I didn’t think to mention them. 

 

It has been a year ago today that Don’ disappeared without a trace.  Not a single clue has surfaced that can even answer the question “Is he dead or alive?”   I believe if he could be home, he would be here.  Were he homeless or in a facility, we would have found him by now.  He wouldn’t be sitting idly by and letting attorneys eat up everything he worked for, so he can’t be hiding.  I miss him so much.

 

Radar compiled a list of my phone messages and one was from Richard Martin.  Could this be THE Richard?  I was breathless.  All the message said was that he was returning my call.  That could be anybody about any thing.  Was it him?  The message had come almost a week ago and not given to me until today.  Would he think I was rude, or worse yet, fickle?  I couldn’t wait to call him and yet was nearly paralyzed with fear.   I cleared my office, locked the door, took a few deep breaths and dialed.

 

Talking to Richard was like talking to an old friend.  I liked everything about him.  He reminded me of me.  Not only his interests and experiences, but his attitudes and beliefs mirrored my own.  I wanted to meet him because I wanted to talk to him, face to face.  It didn’t matter what he looked like although he assured me that he had his own teeth and hair, as if it mattered.  I didn’t ask him how old he was because I liked him so much that it didn’t matter.  I have never liked being around young men, but even if he had been a young person, I don’t think I would’ve cared.   He could’ve had two heads, but by the time I actually met him, I liked him so much I figured I could get used to it.  He suggested we meet on Thursday, August 20.

 

On Thursday he called and suggested we meet at Dagwood’s but I misunderstood and drove to Dog Water’s.  I went in and waited, but he didn’t show.  Fifteen minutes went by and I had asked every man in the bar if his name was Richard and all of them said they wished it were, or they’d change it if that’s what I wanted.  When the page came through, I couldn’t find a phone.  My cell phone was dead, the one down the block had been ripped out of the wall and I finally asked to borrow the merchant’s phone.   We retraced our steps to see how we could have been mistaken and finally agreed to meet at Skipper’s Smokehouse.  When I drove up I saw a man standing out front, but immediately dismissed this as possibly being Richard, because I was expecting the two headed guy that was going to make this attraction such a challenge for me.   As I walked up I could tell by the way he looked at me that it was him.  This was too good to be true!

 

It was late and we virtually had the place to ourselves.  The more I learned about him, the more I liked him.  Being somewhat compulsive by nature and not too shy, I struggled with the overpowering desire to kiss him on the lips and ask where he had been all my life.  We asked all of the “get to know you questions” and I learned that he is the older of two children.  He described his sister as “beautiful”.  He said his father died too soon at 51 and that his mother was still alive and living in St. Pete.

 

He said that he had been a Councilman for St. Pete for two consecutive terms, but that he was usually the one who was against the politicians and for the people when it came time to vote.  His vote was not for sale to the wining and dining upper crust, which made him pretty unpopular among the political crow

I had heard that a lot of people in Tampa read the St. Pete Times and that it is a more liberal paper than the Tampa Tribune.  The St. Pete Times has always been kinder to me that the Tribune and I need to run some real estate ads, so I picked up  a copy after church.  I read the real estate ads, the comics and auctions, thinking that I needed to get out and do something.  I have always been amused by the Personal Ads and find it interesting to see what people are looking for in relationships.  Ninety percent of the ads of women looking for men seem to be looking for someone rich and ninety percent of the ads men place seem to be looking for someone pretty.   These people deserve each other.

 

One ad leapt off the page at me.  I want to find a copy of it again, but in essence the person advertised himself as being: Christian, ex-politician, (seems like oxymoron to me), likes animals, real estate investor, likes scuba diving, …  It was written better than this and had a catchy heading, so I knew the guy was good at marketing and had some self confidence.   I had never called on one of these sort of ads before, but felt compelled to call him and tell him I thought he sounded great.  I picked up the phone and dialed, but was reminded by my carrier that I had put a block on this line for calls that incur a fee such as this.  I tried another line. Same problem.  I tried another line.  Same problem.  I pulled out my cell phone and tried.  Same problem.  I was determined now to call this guy and drove a half mile up the dirt road to call from a pay phone.  Same problem.  I drove half way across town to the condo and called from there.  I got through.

 

I listened to the pre-recorded message he left about himself and liked him immensely.  I played it again just to make sure.  No doubt about it.  I really liked him.  I thought to myself “What an answer to a prayer!”  He said his name was Richard and his message said to leave a number or to call him, but he didn’t leave his number.  I told him a little about myself as it related to his interest.  I told him I weighed 178 pounds on a 5’8” frame, but that he would like the way I was proportioned.  I figured if he was just another shallow male and heard how heavy I was, then he would not waste my time, nor his by returning my call.  I left the sanctuary number.

 

All day, I kept checking my answering machine, but he didn’t call.  The next day, I did the same.  I left on August 11 with my mom, Jamie and Katie and Emily for our family reunion in Indiana.  I worried that he would call and get no answer and I would have missed this great opportunity to meet a wonderful person.  I called in for my messages every day, but no word from him.  I got home from vacation on Monday August 17 and still he hadn’t called.  I wondered how I could have been so wrong in my first impression of him.

 

I've been writing my story since I was able to write, but when the media goes to share it, they only choose the parts that fit their idea of what will generate views.  If I'm going to share my story, it should be the whole story.  The titles are the dates things happened. If you have any interest in who I really am please start at the beginning of this playlist: http://savethecats.org/

 

I know there will be people who take things out of context and try to use them to validate their own misconception, but you have access to the whole story.  My hope is that others will recognize themselves in my words and have the strength to do what is right for themselves and our shared planet. 

 

You can help feed the cats at no cost to you using Amazon Smile!

Visit BigCatRescue.org/Amazon-smile

 

You can see photos, videos and more, updated daily at BigCatRescue.org

 

Check out our main channel at YouTube.com/BigCatRescue

 

Music (if any) from Epidemic Sound (http://www.epidemicsound.com) This video is for entertainment purposes only.