Carolyn & Sonia In Focus

Hey everyone! Welcome back to the Sonia and Carolyn Podcast. 

Today we're gonna talk about taking action. How can we actually bridge the gap in our relationships? We take action by speaking up, by being honest and asking for what we need. Let's get closer with each other and make this happen!

We are so excited to launch Bridging The Gap which will begin on July 19.  We will meet every Tuesday for 4 week, so if you and your person are ready to take action and bridge your gap e-mail us!  Oh and if you put PODCAST in the subject line you will get 50% off the registration fee

xo Carolyn and Sonia xo

WHAT DO YOU BOTH NEED RIGHT NOW?

When we ask for what we need its important to recognize the place you’re in right at that moment. The pressing need will allow a pathway for other needs to be discussed at a latter time. Meaning, if intimacy is the most pressing need then the conversation can start out with the level of commitment and accountability needed from both parties for that connection.

Maybe, the answer is be intentional and to not over think having sex. If we have to start some where, then have sex and ask questions later. This sounds good to me right at this moment. Again, being in action.

The point here is to understand without a doubt that each person is just as important as the other in a relationship. We are always worth everything we ask for.

Remember that asking is the action step here and that’s important. Should we expect every item on our list to be fulfilled all at once? No, but its definitely a start in the right direction.

The bottom line is that if we never ask the question then the answer will always be NO!

What does it take to get your person to listen to you? For Sonia, making eye contact is a way that let’s her know she is being heard. For others, it may be repeating back what is being said and so on.

The question is what are you use to hearing versus what are you currently hearing in that moment. Ask yourself; ‘am I being present, am I listening?’

Often, we hear what sounds familiar and assume what the other person is going to say. But, how many times did you assume wrong? It happens because we are not truly listening in the moment.

What happens when we feel that we are not being heard? We tend to talk louder thinking the words will sink in better. Well, we know that only leads to a shouting match and no one wins. Not that we are keeping score here.

The fix is to listen with new ears and don’t assume. Be patient and be open to the conversation. I promise, the conversation will go smoother.

Make it a point to know what type of communicator your person is; ‘A story teller’ or a ‘just the facts ma’am’ type. Make space to listen to the person you LOVE. Effective communication is important in a relationship.

Seriously, if you want to be heard then learn to be a good listener.

Share Fears? Be vulnerable? Yes, yes, and yes. We all have a level of fear because we are humans and we can't change that no matter how hard we try to pretend.

The fact of the matter is that it's okay to be fearful because there are things to be fearful for. Specifically in a realationship we fear how the other person is going to receive, react or run when we share our fears with them. Just remember they are intitled to their feelings, thoughts and actions. Its what you decide to do together that matters once the fears are shared. 

The upside to sharing our fears is that no matter the action from the other person it is indeed an action and now you actually have a direction in which to address the issue. Also, honor their fears. But what if, the fear you feared the most was merely an assumption because you took it upon yourself to think for your partner? 

One very important lesson Carolyn and I learned early in our relationship was to allow each other to be responsible for our own actions, feelings and fears. Never to assume how the other is going to react to a certain situation, suggestions or a needed change. When it happens we remind each other by saying; "Get out of my head." (lovingly of course) It's a quick reminder and we move on. 

This practice foster's a positive environment for each of us to not be fearful to talk, ask or suggest anything regarding our intimate relationship or work relationship. 

Fearful or not, sharing is absolutely the best way to build trust when you are vulnerable with your partner. 

XO Sonia & Carolyn

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BE HONEST

Meaning that being honest starts with self. The reasoning is that if we believe ourselves to be honest then others will too.

Being honest about who you are and what you need in a relationship is crucial. We also have to remember that our words need to match our actions. With that being said, if you honestly want certain things to change in your relationship then mirror those wants with actions to reach that change. Make them attainable as so to not set yourself or your partner up for failure. Keep your promises and don’t make excuses.

One important key that we have known to work for us is to not exaggerate. Say what is true to you, especially when it comes to your own feelings. Meaning, don’t stretch the true for attention or worse sympathy. Again, just be honest.

Honesty is usually at the top of the list when we look for traits in a person. So, its our responsibility to be accountable for ourselves even when its difficult.  

xo Sonia & Carolyn

Join our FB Community:

Hey, Sonia & Carolyn

Check out our website:

SoniaandCarolyn.com

Email us at:

[email protected]

Sonia and I want to wish all the mom's a Happy Mother's Day so in this episode we talk about Mom's.  All kinds of mom's from birth mom's, to bonus mom's and mom's of choice.  Each mom brings something special to the lives of those she touches.  However we want to recognize that being a mom is not the only roll that women play.  

In our relationship we have learned to celebrate each other for all that we bring into our relationship, family, and all that we do outside of the home as students, friends, employee's, business owners and beyond. So today we celebrate YOU as a mom and so much more!

Celebrating enriches our lives, stops us from focusing on the negative, and empowers us to notice what others see in us.  So Celebrate all you are, and all you bring into every aspect of your life on top of being a mom

xo Carolyn and Sonia xo

Here's a great definition for being confident that we found in a google search. I really like this.

Confidence means: feeling sure of yourself and your abilities — not in an arrogant way, but in a realistic, secure way. Confidence isn't about feeling superior to others. It's a quiet inner knowledge that you're capable.

We are so capable of doing everything anything we desire. With that being said, we're confident already. Meaning, learning and knowing a skill set builds our confidence level. Knowing self, improving our weaknesses and capitalize on our strengths. 

As children, we are either supported or not with our confidence. Meaning, 'Don't climb that because you will get hurt.' How about allowing one to explore what they are capable of on their own. This helps to build a positive confidence level. 

Confidence to me is a practicing skill for gaining knowledge and being secure in knowing what you are capable of doing.   

What is your confience level in your life?

How do you improve on your confidence daily? 

Share your secret sauce with us and the community. Be bold, be confident! 

Life is shaped from the inside out. Meaning, we spend our lives being influenced by first our parents, siblings, school mates, friends and hero's. Eventually, we develop our individual identity, well most of us do. 

Carolyn and I grew up in the 70's/80's and so our influences came to us via school yard, television, and people we met face to face. We didn't have the social media connection that is available today. 

How does social media affect how we shape our life today? Its instant! Today we have Instagram, Tic-Tok, Youtube, FB, twitter, and a host of individuals that post daily with their own unique brands.

Basically, there's a plethora of ways to be easily influenced to live a certain lifestyle or be a certain type of person. In my opinion this makes it a challenge for us to be ourselves fear of not leveling up to others on social media creating an illusion of epic living!

Listen in as Carolyn and I discuss the changes from time we grew up to the now. Leave us comments and/or share what you believe is different today as far as influences that keep us from being our own.  

'Be yourself, because everyone else is taken'

Contemplation or Lack of Motivation, Which is it? The answer will come once you take the time to differentiate between the both. For me, I was feeling unmotivated for the past few weeks but now that I think about it, it was more of deep contemplation for a re-direct for our business and more specifically my photography strategy.

Honestly, I was feeling unmotivated but digging deeper is was due to not knowing where to start up again now that we are taking a new approach with our business. The thing is, we take a deep breath and remember what our 'Why' was in the beginning of this whole journey. Its always a good place to start because its that 'Why' that got you started in the first place right? 

The point is: Look at your 'Why' and remember what that was. Utilize your down time (contemplation/lack of motivation) how ever you title not being in action. And most importantly decide to get back in the game or not. We always have options to do what we want to do.

We hope you decide what's best for you and those closes to you. Until then keep exploring your world!

When we lose our motivation it takes a minute or two to get back in the game. It's especially important to get back in the game when others are dependent on you. However, what we discovered in this episode are steps to get motivated and the right words to encourage each other. 

It's good to take a break to evaluate, reflect and prioritize as necessary from time to time. Whether the cause is from a lack of motivation or a need to redirect. The point is to find your motivation and get back in the game.