Carolyn & Sonia In Focus

When things align be prepared to be in action. Can we just share what that means to us? For years Carolyn and I have felt stuck in our pre-arranged life and now we make our own arrangements. Meaning, we decided to follow our own dreams and desires and not those of others. We understand as parents that we want our kids to have what we never had in our own lives. But do we really want to impose our dreams onto our kids? No, they have dreams of their own and our job is hold that space for them. 

So, what does alignment mean in this sense? When we align ourselves with things that make us happy everyday we are so there. Let me just share. We took an assessment of our lives not too long ago and come to find out we were so out of alignment. Think of it like this. Image you're driving and your car is constantly pulling to the left or to the right. Obviously, you're not in control here. That poses as a problem when we are trying to get from point A to point B. So, we take our car to the shop and ask for an Alignment. Now, driving becomes easier because we are steering in the direction that we want to go. 

Now, think of you and where you want to go in your life.  Simply posed, what aligns with you? Are you doing what feels good to you? Is it effortless or are you fighting like hell to be happy? 

In a nutshell, Carolyn's mom wanted to be a nurse, and so did Carolyn until she didn't. It's not that Carolyn was opposed to helping others she just found a way to do it on her own terms. Coaching and mentoring was more in alignment to her style of supporting others.

When everything in your soul is in alignment for what you desire to do it becomes effortless because you are happy to do it. It really is that simple. We are doing just that today. I'm not saying its easy to run a business, but it makes it so much more easier to get up everyday to do what you love.

Take control of where you want to go and have fun doing so is all I'm saying here. So make that adjustment and get to it.

Wow! So much is available when we are present. How so? For one, when we're present we get to do more. Meaning, we are aware of opportunities and we seize it. 

Being present with self is where it starts. What do you desire presently? What type of relationship do you want today? What can you do today to change the course and get to where you want to be? 

Carolyn and I have conversations daily, most of which we record for this podcast. However, these conversations aren't just for you; the listener its also for us to get in tuned with our desires and the action steps we need to take to sieze our opportunities. 

So far we are doing just that. Taking a deeper look at what is present for us and doing what brings joy to us together and individually. 

Be present with yourself first and stay tuned to opportunities that come your way. 

When we let go of baggage that doesn't belong to us we become aware of ourselves.

There is so much freedom in releasing what doesn't belong to us. We carry so much around for so long that we forget why we allow ourselves to be weighted down.

We believe that we are all in a position to receive anything in life. But the key is to have the space to receive it.

Imagine that your hands are always full carrying things that belong to other people. This leaves you unable to hold things that matter to you.

Self awareness is key to see what is yours, what is good for you and more importantly what makes you happy.

Let's lighted the load and be open to receive what you really want. Are you ready to travel light? Lets do it!

What happens in a relationship when Love Safety and Belonging are present? According to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, there's are certain things we need in our lives in order to become the most that one can be. Whatever that looks like for you.

We start with:

Physiological needs

Safety needs

Love and belonging

Esteem

What if all one needs is Love, Safety and Belonging and the rest is residual; it will come automatically. Meaning when love is the foundation of relationship the sense of belonging  to one another (committed to being in a relationship) is apparent and as a result we are safe to love back and be ourselves.

It has been our recent experience that when Love, Safety and Belonging was established as a trusted environment in our relationship we can then release and shred away chronic trauma emotions that haunt us. This is what Carolyn and I are experiencing today.

Carolyn made a decision to release past trauma, shame and blame and as a result life going forward is different for her and I now. Environment is key to growth whether growing a flower, plant or relationship. The environment we created for our relationship keeps us growing strong.

Action Step:

What parts of your relationship do you want to see grow? And what steps are you taking to create a healthy environment for that growth?

When we recognize our own worth, others will follow suit and they will see that you are priceless. More importantly, you recognize your own worth. Its starts with YOU.

I say this with such confidence because Carolyn and I are living this life together. Believe me when I say it takes honest work and the willingness to go after what you want in life. For us, it was to have a loving relationship and in the process we both learned how to love ourselves. Our self worth is priceless!

Carolyn shares why she was not happy for most of her life (even with me) and how she made a decision to make a change. Once that decision was put into action everything else in her life just fell into place.

In this episode we ask:

What do you want?

If you're not satisfied with your life now, then what do you want instead?  

The key is to want it, to do it and then live it! 

What parts of YOU are loved and what parts of YOU are not? Yes, its real when we say; "I love this about me but not that so much." Here's the thing. We are a Whole Package and every part of us deserves to be loved and taken care of period. 

And, our spouse (Sonia) deserves to know and love every part of us as well. No more hiding, evading or making excuses to not be seen or known. This was me for over twenty years. My wife Carolyn has been dealing with Body Image all her life. It's only been a few months since she has learned to LOVE ALL OF HER. 

What does this mean for me? I get to LOVE ALL OF HER now. This means FREEDOM. Let me explain why I feel such freedom now that my wife has released self hatred and self sabotage.

I get to love Carolyn fully. Meaning no more hiding certain parts of her body when we are being intimate. No more reassuring to her how beautiful she is because she now sees that for herself. Shopping is fun because she gravitates to more colors and texture. Loving it because I'm a shopper. 

Okay, Its not about me so much but, I can't ignore how affected I was all this time. It was frustrating and heart breaking to witness my wife not love herself for all these years. I know what I saw and loved but she didn't see it for herself. Do you know someone like this? Are you the spouse like me trying to convince your spouse that she is beautiful inside and out? This was me for years. 

But, here we both are on the other side of things and still keeping the momentum going to end negative body image, not just for us but for others all over the world.  

It's our goal, mission and passion to share our experiences and come to you with solutions. We are born worthy and are deserving to be loved. The love has to start with Self, no questions about it!

Freedom is waiting for you,

Much Love Always,

Sonia & Carolyn

Let me explain why I use to get so frustrated when Carolyn wouldn't receive my compliments seriously. I would say to her, "You're beautiful." Instead of saying, Thank You Sonia, I would find myself constantly saying, "You better get believer fixed" because she didn't believe me.  

I never knew exactly why until a few months ago.  What changed? A couple of things changed actually. First of all, Carolyn decided to change her mindset about body image. As a result of that EVERYTHING changed. Things changed for both of us. 

I hadn't realized how frustrating I was until we started talking about it in this episode. I had become her personal "pick-me-upper" and that was getting exhausting. It was so exhuasting to the point that I didn't want to compliment her any longer because I knew it meant spending extra time convincing her of it. 

I have to admit, this was a tough and emotional episode for both of us. But we survived it and here we are sharing our truth with each of you today.  

Body image affects us in all areas of our life but, it doesn't have to drive our lives.  We are in control of how we see ourselves and not how others see us; inside and out.

Why is it difficult to accept compliments, especially when the compliment are coming from the one's closes to you? In this episode we discovered how triggering pushes us to visit deep seeded reasons that keep us running for ourselves and how to approach with sensitivity. 

On the flip side, when your spouse refuses to accept your compliments it becomes frustrating to the point of not wanting to give compliments because of the push back of not believing what is being said. 

What we know now looking back is to never give up, trust that support is always an option and the importance of communicating through it all!

Stayed tuned as we unfold all aspects of body image and how it affects everything and everybody around you.

Our choices become brighter once we accept and release trauma that surround body image. Is it possible to live life without fear or judgment? The answer is Yes!

In this episode, Carolyn passionately shares how she tackles body image just by the colors she choses when shopping and how these are necessary steps she takes to no longer allow body image to direct her life going forward.

Stay with us as we go deep into negative body image and learn to develop a more positive body image.