Catholic Mom Calm

I am team planning. I am team house systems. We teach it in the membership and it is the very first thing we tackle in the Catholic Mom Reset, because looking at your next 90 days and making a plan is genuinely a gift to your future self. But if you took all of it away tomorrow, dropped me in a different house in a different town with no idea what the next 90 days held, I would be okay. I could walk around and have peace. That is the part I want for you.

A lot of women tell me they are type A planners. There is a healthy version of that. There is also a version that gets built in a childhood full of chaos you could not control, or in a home where performing well was how you got love and attention. Both of those grow up into a woman who plans beautifully, and one of them is holding on with an iron grip. This episode is how to tell which one you are running on, the five minute healing work that sets the grip down, and the sentence I said to a mom on a coaching call that changed her whole face.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why the plan is not what makes you feel calm (you make a plan, then you think "I have a plan," and the thought is what creates safety in your body)
• The two childhoods that produce a hyper-planner: chaos you had no control over, and love you had to earn by performing
• The difference between planning that feels light and playful and planning you believe you cannot survive without
• Abraham walking up the mountain and the Israelites who never got the itinerary, and what peace looked like for both
• Tolerating uncertainty is a capacity you can grow, the same way a kid grows from 37 seconds to a minute and a half underwater
• The five minute memory work I use, sitting in the theater with the Lord while He tells you the truth about what really happened
• What I told the mom who was afraid that moving every two years would rob her kids of roots and stability

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Why I wanted to do this episode, and why I am solidly team planning and team systems
• [05:00] – All brains hate uncertainty, the AI conversation nobody can predict, and the skill we can actually grow
• [10:00] – Your body feels your thinking, not your plan. The Israelites, and Abraham on the mountain
• [15:00] – The car breaks down. The husband's job might move you. How to answer your own brain
• [20:00] – Chaos versus performance, the grounded healthy version of you, and asking the Lord what we are doing today
• [25:00] – Bob Schuchts, inner child work, and revisiting a memory with Jesus in five minutes
• [30:00] – "You are their mom. You bring roots and stability everywhere you go." Protocols, and week one of the Reset

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Catholic Mom Reset (starts Sunday, September 6th, first live call Thursday, September 10th)
• Bob Schuchts books
• Brya Hannan book on inner child healing (do one chapter a month, it is deep work)
• Restore the Glory podcast with Bob Schuchts and Jake Khym
• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

"People love change. They just hate transition." I heard Matthew Kelly teach that years ago and I think about it every single August. Because right now I'm getting a hundred emails from the school, two of my boys walked out today in socks with giant holes in the heels, and there's a lunchbox in this house that will not zip.

If your body is fritzing out over start dates and supply lists and shoe sizes, nothing has gone wrong. You're not in the change yet. You're in the transition, and I want to give you the exact words to say to your own brain while you're standing in the middle of it. Plus a summer update: our little red golden retriever, the sickness that took my husband down, walking in 87 degrees on purpose, 200 Fulton Sheen rosaries, and the press-on nails I just ordered off an internet ad.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why change and transition are two different things, and why the yucky feeling belongs to the transition and not to your decision
• What to tell your brain when it starts second-guessing (the feeling is bad, so the choice must be wrong) and why that's backwards
• Who you are in a transition is not who you're going to be, whether that's back-to-school or pregnancy or a move you didn't choose
• The two weeks plus two weeks rhythm I use: get ready, live it, evaluate at the end of the day, tweak, then settle into the change
• Giving equal air time, because your brain will spend all day on what could go wrong and about nine seconds on what you're excited about
• The folder-and-calendar hack that keeps the school email avalanche from hanging over you every hour of the day
• Looking for what was good in a hard season, even when the good thing is just the timing of it

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Mid-August, the nesting itch, and going from wild open summer to ordered fall
• [05:00] – Annie Avonlea, a sickness that hit everyone one at a time, and what was actually good about it
• [10:00] – Walking in the heat on purpose, France prep, and giving equal air time to the excitement
• [15:00] – Making Fulton Sheen rosaries, why moms need work that gets finished, and yes, the press-on nails
• [20:00] – "People love change. They just hate transition." The emails, the socks, the lunchbox that won't zip
• [25:00] – Talking to your brain in the transition, and the four weeks it actually takes to settle
• [30:00] – The email folder hack, and having peace today in the middle of all of it

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Join the Catholic Mom Reset: www.catholicmomcalm.com/reset
• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com
• Fulton Sheen beatification conference: https://fultonsheenconference.com/

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Almost everything you believe about your kids' schooling is an opinion, not a fact — and most of those opinions are quietly manufacturing stress in your body. In this episode, I walk you through why your feelings about school come from your thinking, how I choose school for my six kids with detachment (we're doing three different things this year), and the one trick I use to stop emotionally processing problems that haven't happened yet.

Whether you've got toddlers, a struggling nine-year-old, or a high schooler who bit off more than she can chew, I want you to notice how you're showing up — because the more stressed you are about their education, the worse you show up for them. I'll show you how to trade the tightness for problem-solving energy, hope, and peace. Sterling Jaquith.

WHAT'S COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why "well-educated" is impossible to define — and how AI is about to make general knowledge plus the ability to ask good questions matter more than the drills we stress over
• The difference between thoughts that just feel good ("my kid speaks Spanish!") and thoughts that are actually true
• How to sit in the discomfort of watching your child struggle without deciding something has gone wrong
• My favorite trick: refusing to emotionally process a made-up future problem (yes, even the diocese one)
• How to tell yourself the best possible story about whatever schooling you've chosen — including reframing public school as mission territory

EPISODE TIMELINE:

(estimated — confirm against audio)

[00:00] – Why I finally made an episode about school, and the guilt episode I'll link for homeschoolers [06:00] – Your feelings about school come from your thinking, and "well-educated" can't be defined [13:00] – How AI changes education, the Roman Empire example, and feel-good thoughts vs. true ones [20:00] – Choosing school with detachment: my six kids, three different approaches this year [27:00] – The struggling-in-math example, and coaching a mom worried her high achiever over-committed [34:00] – "I'll process it if it happens," modeling peace, and reframing public school as mission territory

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The May episode on homeschool "how far did we get" guilt: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/schooling-guilt-and-stress/id1542253372?i=1000656369341

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

The internet is very loud about AI right now, so I want to tell you exactly where I stand in July of 2026, both personally and as a company, so you can start forming your own opinion. For the most part I'm team AI. I also think it's going to create some genuinely scary things in our society, the same way the internet and smartphones did. Both can be true.

My favorite thing about it? It cuts through the noise. Instead of clicking through twenty websites full of pop-ups and people trying to sell me something, I can ask a question and get a clear answer, then ask for the counterarguments too.

In this episode I walk through how I use it in real life (skincare, salad dressings, puppy training, fact-checking those sensational ads), the private questions you'd never Google, and exactly where I draw my hard lines. I also pull back the curtain on how Catholic Mom Calm uses AI and where we absolutely don't, so you know what's touched by it and what isn't.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Where I land on AI in July 2026: mostly team AI, and clear-eyed about the harm too
• My favorite thing about it, cutting through the internet's noise (Google's AI Mode, and always asking "what's the counterargument, and who's making it?")
• The intimacy-call tip: asking private questions you'd never Google, telling it you're Catholic first, and deleting the thread
• How I use it at home: skincare picks, homemade salad dressing, a week-by-week puppy plan, and fact-checking those sensational ads
• Where I draw hard lines: not for prayer, not for religious art, and why real artists and musicians still make our work
• How Catholic Mom Calm actually uses it (story research, email arcs, financials, coding the app) and where we still won't (design)
• The Calm Catholic Kids app is out, why I made it "the most boring app ever," and a word on kids, AI, and Pope Leo's letter

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Where I stand on AI in July 2026
• [05:00] – Cutting through the noise: Google's AI Mode and asking for both sides
• [10:00] – The intimacy-call tip, and telling it you're Catholic
• [15:00] – Skincare, salad dressings, puppy plans, and fact-checking sensational ads
• [20:00] – Where I draw the line: prayer, religious art, and real artists
• [25:00] – How Catholic Mom Calm uses AI (and how it doesn't)
• [30:00] – The app is out, kids and AI, and Pope Leo's letter

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Calm Catholic Kids app https://apps.apple.com/us/app/calm-catholic-kids/id6768798893
• Calm Catholic Kids (buy the collections here, not through the app, so you skip Apple's 30%): https://calmcatholickids.com
• Xavier Co-op (my new two-and-a-half-day hybrid school launching this fall): https://xaviercoop.com
• Come to France with me this fall: https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/
• My skincare routine: Cetaphil cream (I get this at costco) Blue Lizard sunscreen TruSkin Face Serum
• Pope Leo's letter on AI: https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/en/encyclicals/documents/20260515-magnifica-humanitas.html
• The AI tools I mentioned: ChatGPT, Claude, Google's Gemini (AI Mode), and Grok

CHECK OUT MY WORK:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm
• Mary's Heart, Martha's Order Planner: https://catholicmomcalm.com/planner

It's Friday night, I'm home alone, and I'm recording a completely ridiculous episode. No coaching, no reframe, just me wanting to talk to someone about episode one of the new Elle Woods show on Amazon Prime. My husband took the kids to the beach, I opened Prime, and this little show whisked me right back to being a '90s Seattle grunge girl.

Fair warning: this one is pure nostalgia. If you grew up in the '90s, went to concerts, lived anywhere near the Pacific Northwest, or ever dyed a strip in your hair and thought it was the coolest thing ever (it was not, but it was to me), come sit with me for a few minutes. And if that's not you, skip this one. I promise next week's episode gets deep and coachy again.

WHAT I COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why the show is a love letter to 40-year-old women who grew up on Legally Blonde (and why they nailed it)
• The soundtrack, the plaid, the hoodies, the one girl with an umbrella, and how perfectly they captured '90s Seattle grunge
• My own Seattle years, from Capitol Hill to Green Lake, walking my puppies and running my dog-training business
• The clique-and-judge culture of '90s high school, and my honest confession about who I would have been to a new girl like Elle
• Why I love that the show's characters are positive and kind, and what that stirred up in me as a parent now
• A little window into the me you might not know: concerts, green Doc Martens, and starting a web design company at 17

LINKS AND RESOURCES:

• Come to France with me https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

I just got back from driving six kids and two dogs (including an eight-week-old puppy) from northern Idaho to northern Wisconsin, and the trip left me with a takeaway I didn't expect. I am so in love with my ordinary, day-to-day life. Watching cousins become friends and swimming and puppy chaos was wonderful, and it made me more grateful than ever for the life I've built at home.

So in this episode I'm going to make the case, hard, that you can enjoy your day-to-day life too. I take on the obvious objection head-on ("sure, Sterling, but you're in an easier phase now") and explain why it isn't the property or the ages or the lack of babies making me happy. It's the tools. I walk through calming your body first, opening the messy closet of your thinking, putting what you actually want in the result line, and building rest into your rhythms so you stop living for the next escape. It comes down to rebuilding trust with yourself, and it's available in any season.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why a big, un-relaxing family trip left me more in love with my everyday life than ever
• The objection I take head-on ("it's easy for you now") and why circumstances aren't what make me happy
• Calming your body first: the anger thermometer, breathing, and being Dominic the dragon "cooling his fire" so your kids can see it
• Opening the messy closet of your thinking, popping the comparison bubbles, and redirecting on purpose
• Putting what you actually want in the result line (like "enjoy the kids in the afternoon"), solved both practically and mentally
• Building rest into daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly rhythms so you don't feel desperate to escape your life
• Rebuilding self-trust, why peace and acceptance come before problem-solving, and the great household yo-yo drama

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Home from Idaho to Wisconsin, and falling more in love with daily life
• [05:00] – "It's easy for you now": the phase objection, and why it's not the circumstances
• [10:00] – Calming your body first (the thermometer and Dominic the dragon)
• [14:00] – The messy closet of your thoughts, and popping the comparison bubbles
• [18:00] – Putting what you want in the result line, and rest built into your rhythms
• [23:00] – Rebuilding self-trust, peace before problem-solving, and the yo-yo saga
• [27:00] – Six spots left for France

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Come to France with me this fall (six spots left!: https://catholicmomcalm.com/france/
• Catholic Mom Calm membership: https://catholicmomcalm.com/
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free until September): https://catholicmomcalm.com/calm-catholic-kids-collection-3-kindness/

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

It usually hits right about now. You started summer with high hopes, pushed through the chaotic first couple of weeks, and now you're yelling more, feeling stressed, and wondering what happened to the magical season you pictured. Sterling Jaquith says it's not because you lack a plan. It's your window of tolerance, and summer quietly shrinks it.

Drawing on a concept from her book Catholic Mom Calm, Sterling breaks down the two kinds of tolerance: your capacity for one specific stressor (hello, putting sunscreen on unwilling children), and your overall capacity for everything stacked on your plate at once. When you add camps, vacations, sibling fights, heat, and snacks without taking anything off, your ability to cope drops. This episode is the permission slip and the toolkit: expand your tolerance, drop the "shoulds" that are really just social norms, and stop beating yourself up. Because your anger is a stress response, and that is completely changeable.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The two windows of tolerance: your capacity for one specific stressor, and your overall capacity for everything at once
• How to expand your tolerance for a single stressor, with breathing and coaching yourself (the sunscreen battle as exhibit A)
• Why summer shrinks your overall window: you added all the stressors but never took anything off the plate
• The only real "shoulds" (the catechism and the law), and why most summer obligations are just social norms you're free to decline
• A gentler, more honest take on screen time, and why slower old shows actually help
• Instituting a quiet time, feeding and sleeping yourself, and why your anger is a stress response you can change

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The intolerance of summer, and the window of tolerance from her book
• [03:00] – Expanding your tolerance for one stressor (the sunscreen battle)
• [07:00] – Your overall window, and how summer piles on without taking anything off
• [11:00] – Real shoulds versus social norms (you don't have to bake the birthday cake)
• [14:00] – A gentler take on screen time and slower shows
• [16:00] – Quiet time, self-care, and why anger is a changeable stress response

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Catholic Mom Calm (Sterling's book, with the full "window of tolerance" section): https://amzn.to/4oKZRjU
• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Sterling Jaquith caught herself feeling a very particular brand of summer jealousy. Friends whose parents are stable enough, healthy enough, and trusted enough to take the grandkids for a week or two. And watching that feeling rise was a perfect window into something we all do: we never question why we feel good, but the moment a negative feeling shows up, we start poking at it, and the poking spins into a storm.

In this episode Sterling slows the whole thing down so you can see the difference between prayerfully feeling your feelings and indulging in what a friend called "tornado thinking." One is slow, grounded, and resolves. The other is fast, grows as it goes, and turns a bad mood into a bad day into a "bad season." Nobody is doing that to you, and that's actually the good news. You have more control over the weather in your mind than you think.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The summer jealousy Sterling noticed in herself, and what it was actually about (hint: not the free time)
• Why we interrogate our negative feelings but never stop to question the happy ones
• The real difference between feeling your feelings (slow, grounded, done with the Lord) and tornado thinking (fast, growing, catching everything in its path)
• How a bad mood becomes a bad day becomes a "bad season," and why you control that weather more than you think
• The three choices in any triggered moment: think about it later, feel it all the way through, or spin
• How to walk yourself back gently and lovingly, never in an authoritarian "just get it together" voice

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The summer jealousy Sterling noticed, and why we never question feeling good
• [04:00] – Tornado thinking versus actually feeling your feelings
• [08:00] – How a bad mood becomes a bad day becomes a bad season (the weather you forget you control)
• [12:00] – What feeling your feelings really looks like: slow, named, and sitting with the Lord
• [16:00] – Why jealousy reveals your unresolved work (Europe versus the grandparents)
• [18:00] – Calming the storm by speaking to yourself with love

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Calm Catholic Kids: https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

We're handed a script that summer is supposed to be fun and relaxing, beach days and popsicles and bucket lists. Then the fantasy meets the reality of little kids off their routine, eating sugar, tracking sand everywhere, and a lot of moms find themselves feeling something they didn't expect: angry. Sterling Jaquith says that's not a sign you're doing it wrong. It's cognitive dissonance, and it's incredibly common.

This episode starts with a 30-second check-in you can do ten times a day, then unpacks why the gap between expectation and reality turns into anger, and what to do about it. Sterling walks through exactly how she thinks about her own Northern Idaho summers, lake days, outside time, and all, so she makes memories instead of yelling. And she hands you permission you may not know you needed: you don't have to do anything this summer.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• The 30-second self-check-in (touch your skin, ask "how am I feeling?" and "what do I need?") and why most moms never do it
• Why summer creates a love-hate relationship, and the clash between the sparkly fantasy and the real thing
• Why anger is the surprisingly common summer emotion for moms, and the shame or fear sitting underneath it
• The one question to ask the second you feel frustrated: "What did I think should be happening?"
• Setting yourself up to win (the 40-minute lake math, the outside water and bathroom systems, deciding about the food ahead of time)
• Permission to do nothing this summer, and why "we're just hanging out" is a complete and good answer

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – The 30-second check-in: touch your skin, ask how you feel and what you need
• [03:00] – Why we all have a love-hate relationship with summer
• [07:00] – Anger as the summer emotion, and the fantasy-vs-reality clash underneath it
• [11:00] – "What did I think should happen?" and the 40-minute lake math
• [14:00] – Outside time, the water and bathroom systems, and managing your mind when they come back in
• [17:00] – You don't have to do anything this summer, and being kind to yourself

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm

Every summer it happens. You pack up the little kids, drive to the beach or the grandparents, and somewhere around day three in an unfamiliar Airbnb with no blackout curtains and a toddler who won't sleep, you wonder why you thought this would be fun. Sterling Jaquith has a reframe that changes the whole thing: stop calling it a vacation.

In this evergreen episode you can come back to before any trip, Sterling walks through why little kids won't remember the vacation anyway, what they do remember, and the three honest questions to ask before you go. It's permission to stop chasing "relaxing" with a houseful of tired, dysregulated humans, and to plan the trip like the world's best personal assistant instead. Because the answer, through all of it, is always love. Including love for yourself.

WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE:

• Why calling it a "vacation" is the first trap, and treating the trip like a business trip with a mission and a plan instead
• The honest truth that you may not enjoy it with little kids, and why that doesn't mean anything has gone wrong
• The three questions to ask before you go: What's my mission? What three feelings am I actually going for? How do I set myself up for those?
• Creating novelty on the cheap (crazy straws, Goodwill toys, stovetop popcorn, pop rocks, and the screen time you'd normally say no to)
• Planning something that's just for you, whether it's before, during, or after the trip
• Why Catholic moms living only for everyone else isn't how God designed you, and how to love yourself hard through the hard parts

EPISODE TIMELINE:

• [00:00] – Why this is your reference episode for every future summer, holiday, and spring break
• [04:00] – "I don't think you can enjoy it." The coaching conversation that started this
• [08:00] – What kids actually remember, and why Sterling makes a photo book every year
• [12:00] – The three questions: mission, the top three feelings, and setting yourself up to feel them
• [16:00] – Creating novelty, building in real breaks, and planning something for you
• [19:00] – The answer is always love, and why God doesn't want you at the end of your rope

LINKS AND RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• Rhythm of War which is Book 4 of the Stormlight Series by Brandon Sanderson (the audiobook Sterling and her husband listened to on their cross-country drive): https://amzn.to/4w34nwC
• Calm Catholic Kids (Summer of Kindness stories free now, Collections 4 and 5 coming soon): https://calmcatholickids.com

CONNECT WITH STERLING JAQUITH:

• Website: https://catholicmomcalm.com
• Connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/catholicmomcalm