When I asked Cayce Howe, what he would tell his best friend about grief, especially if that friend was new to grief, Cayce did not immediately provide a definition. What he did, was remind me, that grief is different for everyone. We may or may not have the words to describe grief. We have words -  sadness, fear, suffering, clinging. But fear might be completely different for you than it is for me. Perhaps our words are not enough.

Grief is complex. Our words are not working. We need more words. Or maybe, what we can do is drop the words and be with the experience. Let go of expectations. Maybe giving friends a definition of grief is unhelpful. The last thing we want to do is add to the burden. Imagine, your best friend has a different experience than yours, and then he wonders, "Am I doing this right?"  There is no "doing this right." 

There is being.  Being with our emotions as they arise in our awareness, and being with our grief.

Cayce Howe is the author of: Becoming Water: Heart Path to Wisdom: Poems on Life, Love, and Awakening