Cerise And Vicky Rank The Movies

Cerise and Vicky recover from their longest episode ever by zipping through their shortest episode ever, adding five wonderful and kind of samey films about girls school to their list!

6:10 – Seance (2021, Simon Barrett) – Cerise and Vicky rediscover what genre films can be when they don't take themselves deathly seriously. Also: Gay.

18:20 – Madchen in Uniform (1931, Leontine Sagan) – Cerise and Vicky dig up the foundations of the girls' school drama to investigate whether it holds up ninety years later. Also: GAY.

29:13 – Picnic at Hanging Rock (1975, Peter Weir) – Cerise and Vicky investigate the disappearance of five Victorian schools girls in an attempt to discern what role repressed sexual yearning played in their disappearance. Also: GAY GAY GAY.

43:21 – Sailor Suit and Machine Gun (1981, Shinji Somai) – Cerise and Vicky sit down for what they assume will be a quick, unpretentious exploitation movie, but get something way better than they expected/ Also: Not *as * gay, but certainly gay enough.

57:22 – Whispering Corridors (1998, Park Ki-Hyung) – Cerise and Vicky introduce a way better franchise than the Saw movies to the list, shouting out Tartan Asia Extreme in the process. Also; gaygaygaygaygay.

CW: Drug use, self harm, addiction, extreme violence

In celebration of the long awaited release (by someone, surely) of Spiral: From the Book of Saw, Cerise and Vicky take a trip through a torture trap all their own as they watch the first 8 Saw films back to back to back. Listen as they go through an entire afternoon, evening and into the dawn with the purest horror filth. Will they make it out alive? (of course they will, it's a movie podcast, please calm down)

7:47 Saw (2004, James Wan) We start off full of pep and dreams of a fun movie marathon, but Saw has already begun to disabuse us of this dream.

23:05 Saw II (2005, Darren Lynn Bousman) C and V welcome director Darren Lynn Bousman to their list, but before the night is out he will be their most ranked director. This is hardly the worst thing about watching Saw II

37:10 Saw III (2006, Darren Lynn Bousman) C and V lose the will to go on in the face of this absolute racist trash fire. Have they found the new worst film of all time? Still, they go on.

50:45 Saw IV (2007, Darren Lynn Bousman)The drinks have started to have their effect as C and V rank a film that, at least, is not as bad as Saw III? Also, a lot of puppet slander!

1:07:30 Saw V (2008, David Hackl) The franchise is officially eating its own tail here, and Cerise barely prevents Vicky from eating her own hand.

1:22:00 Saw VI (2009, Kevin Greutert) Long running series villain (no, not Jigsaw, series editor Kevin Greutert) takes the helm as director and...makes the best movie so far in the franchise? HUGE TWIST

1:34:35 Saw 3D: The Final Chapter (2010, Kevin Greutert) Hopes of more good movies to come are utterly dashed on the rocks of the misogynist nightmare of Saw VII. Will Cerise and Vicky ever know pleasure again?

1:50:30 Jigsaw (2017, The Spierig Brothers) Is it a reboot? A sequel? Cerise and Vicky can't go on. The sun has come up over beautiful West Philadelphia and they seem to have lost the ability to think about movies, potentially forever.

2:07:30 Spiral : From the Book of Saw(2021) Darren "The Bous" Bousman returns to the franchise, Cerise and Vicky return to theaters, and one final twist ending awaits them.

Cerise and Vicky celebrate their 200th movie ranked by recording in the same room as one another!They immediately find that they have been wrongfully accused of being good podcasters, and add five more movies to their list to hide their shame.

09:28 – Monster (2021, Anthony Mandler)

24:56 – North By Northwest (1959, Alfred Hitchcock)

40:32 – Investigation of a Citizen Above Suspicion (1970, Elio Petri)

57:05 – Reversal of Fortune (1990, Barbet Schroeder)

1:12:26 – Minority Report (2002, Steven Spielberg)

Cerise and Vicky crack open some New York Times Number One Best Seller airport novels and talk about how the movies based on them are...completely fine. Full of amazing performances and often mediocre pacing. But we didn't talk about any YA?

9:30 - Tom Clancy's Without Remorse (2021, Stefano Sollima)Cerise and Vicky are pleasantly surprised that this movie is only half as fashy as Tom Clancy's name is wont to imply, and give a big welcome to the show to Michael B Jordan.

31:25 - The Caine Mutiny (1954, Edward Dmytryk) Vicky reads the entire film as a narrative about gay desire and closets, Cerise defends the righteousness of mutineers, and both of them think this movie should've trimmed its runtime.

50:00 - Valley of the Dolls (1967, Mark Robson) Cerise adores Patty Duke's scenery chewing, Vicky is too distressed by the misogyny to even enjoy it, but both start to think about checking out the book

1:09:30 - The Dead Zone (1983, David Cronenberg) Cerise and Vicky freak out with joy at the first good movie they got to watch in two weeks. Do you guys remember good movies? They almost forgot.

1:26:50 - The Russia House (1990, Fred Schepisi) Is this John Le Carre adaptation unfairly forgotten? Yes! Is it a must watch? Oh, no, no. It's pretty OK though!

(Stars this week include: Michael B. Jordan, Guy Pearce, Lauren London, Jodie Turner-Smith, Jacob Scipio, Humphrey Bogart, May Wynn, Fred MacMurray, Jose Ferrer, Van Johnson, Sharon Tate, Barbara Parkins, Patty Duke, Susan Hayward, John Mahoney, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen, Brooke Adams, Sean Connery, Michelle Pfeifer, Roy Scheider, Klaus Maria Brandauer)

Cerise and Vicky load up on Mountain Dew and trek into the digital void. Will they find five more video game movies for their ever-growing list? Or will they find only despair and madness? The answer is yes.

12:12 – Mortal Kombat (2021, Simon McQuoid) – Cerise and Vicky are forced to climb a mountainous trash heap – is the smell truly toxic, or merely extremely unpleasant?

36:10 – Street Fighter (1994, Steven E. DeSouza) – Cerise and Vicky are forced to ponder the riddle of the Blanka – is Batman '66-style campy humor enough to redeem one of the granddaddies of the video game movie genre?

53:40 – Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001, Hironobu Sakaguchi) – Cerise and Vicky look upon the works of a video game legend, and despair.

1:10:10 – Alone In The Dark (2005, Uwe Boll) – Cerise and Vicky brave the caverns of mid-2000s cinematic detritus in search of the secret origin of the most infamous video game movie auteur of all time.

1:26:15 – Fatal Frame (2014, Mari Asato) – Cerise and Vicky rejoice upon encountering an oasis of a movie – until they watch its second half.

Cerise and Vicky reach the middle of their years and find that there are yet still more movies to rank.

6:40 – Nobody (2021, Ilya Naishuller) – Cerise and Vicky speculate as to why no one seems to recognize that this is a parody of action films, and find time to argue about the literal nature of video game imagery.

30:55 – Pierrot Le Fou (1965, Jean-Luc Godard) – Cerise and Vicky argue some more; Adam Curtis takes advantage of the chaos.

53:30 – Wanda (1970, Barbara Loden) – Cerise and Vicky make peace for the sake of celebrating a woman who was unfairly lost in the shadow of a massive dirtball.

1:10:03 – Jackie Brown (1997, Quentin Tarantino) – Cerise and Vicky argue about whether the presence of Pam Grier is enough to make up for Quentin Tarantino's Quentin Tarantinoness.

1:31:33 – A Serious Man (2009, Joel & Ethan Coen) – Vicky gushes about a movie that reflects her personal experiences, and Cerise is happy that Vicky is happy.

This week Cerise and Vicky do some rubbernecking at horrible events in tunnels, skyscrapers, volcanic islands and many other places besides. They get very excited about The Towering Inferno, get stymied by bad subtitles, and welcome a bunch of great stars and directors to the list. We also all learn a little something about Vicky's sexuality.

11:50: The Tunnel - What can Cerise and Vicky do when the copies of a new movie available make it harder to watch than not?

30:00: Towering Inferno - Cerise and Vicky get so excited about the Towering Inferno they develop a new catchphrase

1:00:20 When Time Ran Out... - Cerise and Vicky deploy a materialist analysis of film production's relation to oil extraction in order to talk about one of the silliest disaster movies in history

1:24:30 Dante's Peak - Vicky admits to having a mom crush on Pierce Brosnan, and Cerise graciously doesn't take away Vicky's lesbian membership card

1:40:45 Contagion - Steven Soderbergh predicts the Coronavirus, and Cerise gets the worst kind of contagious disease, feelings

Cerise and Vicky are caught in a nuclear blast and grow to enormous size. Instead of using their power to level cities, they choose to rank five Godzilla movies, because they are nice.

9:39 – Godzilla vs Kong (2021, Adam Wingard)

30:53 – Godzilla (1954, Ishiro Honda)

48:39 – Ghidorah the Three Headed Monster (1964, Ishiro Honda)

1:06:00 – Godzilla (1998, Roland Emmerich)

1:28:30 – Godzilla Final Wars (2004, Ryuhei Kitamura)

Cerise and Vicky foolishly try their hand at Amateur Night by ranking movies about comedians!

6:20 – Bad Trip (2021, Kitao Sakurai) – Cerise and Vicky debate the ethics of hanging people off of rooftops for comedy as they discuss the only genuinely funny movie this week

23:49 – The Entertainer (1960, Tony Richardson) – Laurence Olivier turns into a boat and jams up the Suez or something..

41:38 – The King Of Comedy (1983, Martin Scorsese) – Cerise reveals the second stage of her plan to turn Vicky into a Scorsese superfan. Vicky is skeptical.

1:01:45 – The Late Shift (1996, Betty Thomas) – Cerise and Vicky puzzle over why they remembered this movie without realizing that it's because they are also vilified lesbians.

1:19:32 – Entertainment (2015, Greg Alverson) – Entertainment? More like EnterNOTment, amirite?

Cerise and Vicky unleash their collected hatred towards the Snyder Cut and manage to rank and review four more movies with legendarily troubled productions.

10:23 – Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021, Zack Snyder) – Cerise and Vicky stare into the murky abyss of fascist trolling and find the Anti-Life Equation staring back at them.

58:35 – Manos: The Hands Of Fate – Cerise and Vicky recover from the experience of Justice League by appreciating the knees of Torgo.

1:14:31 – Sorcerer (1977, William Friedkin) – Cerise and Vicky strap some nitroglycerin to their backs and explore an underappreciated classic.

1:42:21 – Ishtar (1987, Elaine May) – Cerise and Vicky set out to clear the name of Elaine May, only to encounter some unexpected roadblocks.

2:04:16 – The Island of Dr Moreau (1996, John Frankenheimer) – Vicky finally begins to lose her mind as Cerise mocks her descent into madness.