Certified Cinephiles

This week! We are talking about the hit movie Surviving the game starring Ice-T and Gary Busey! Why does hollywood hate Gary Busey, Why did Ice-T get dragged out into the middle of the woods to be hunted. And why is William in trouble for pranking a family super hard?

daaamn we're getting good at this!!! timecop fuckin rules. 

intro skit:

timecop: trent dozier

present day van damme: damon  royster

next week we watch the ice-t HEATER surviving the game: gary busey goes full sicko mode in this thing

become a supporter at patreon.com/birthdaypiss to hear the entire first season now!

steel and martin get a hot lead on some terrorist activity happening on junkyard island, can steel and his supersuit save junkyard island in time for the junkyard basketball championship?

intro skit:

steel - david gborie

martin - shanel hughes

gun man - danny maupin

next week we watch van damme in the action packed 90's sci fi masterpiece: timecop

the evil journalist snurd is trying to turn america's population into classical music loving losers by killing all the kids at rock n roll high school, but luckily, rockerman is on the scene.

full season available now at patreon.com/birthdaypiss

minkey is the world's smartest primate spy. on a search mission for his missing friend c.i.ape, minkey runs into dr. deepstate. a force so evil, even the spymate minkey might not make it out alive.

intro skit:

minkey - stanley sievers

next week we watch the rock n roll classic camp rock

join the patreon to see the entire second season now: patreon.com/birthdaypiss

Weeeee're back!! The beast is in the east! A true action hero is banished to asia in the wake of deepstate hollywood villainy. can he overcome his obesity and save the world? 

next week we look into another monkey spy thriller: spymate

intro skit:

steven seagal - sam tallent

join the patreon to see the entire second season now: patreon.com/birthdaypiss

season two early access is available now at patreon.com/birthdaypiss

we know we're taking our sweet ass time w season two of cinephiles, but we promise it will be worth it! 

the whole birthday piss squad gets together in the pisscord!! CERTIFIED COBOSPHILES!!!

listen to the full episode and enjoy a bonus episode like this one every week for $5 at patreon.com/birthdaypiss

On the season finale, we bring on our Christian theologian expert BK Sharad to break down just exactly how to fall in love with a Church Girl. Ja Rule stars in this movie about love, faith and destiny. Thanks for being a part of the first season of Certified Cinephiles! We will back in 2023 with an action packed second season!! MOOOOVIE BOYS

Mars Needs Moms AKA the film that Disney pressed self destruct on. This movie in all of its glory is a cinematic masterpiece. A work of art packed to the brim with A-LIST talent from the crew to the cast. Every ounce of this movie lives up to its 150 million dollar budget and anyone with a pair of eyes will agree its terrible reviews don't make a lick of sense. That is until you start digging. On Certified Cinephiles season 1, we have only barely scratched the surface of Hollywood’s elitist deep state. In this season's penultimate episode, we show you just WHY one of the world's most powerful studios decided to go to great lengths in order to publicly flop their own movie, and just why we have never seen mocap animation since.

next episode will be our last before we take a break to gear up for season 2 of certified cinephiles. thank you so much for your patience while we get things in order and rework the show a bit! we've learned a lot from these first 16 episodes, and we look forward to expanding the certified cinephiles universe. thanks to those of you who have been here from the beginning: we love you for loving our weird movie podcast. we plan to be back in late october or early november--stay tuned for more info on season two of certified cinephiles. movie boys!!!!!!!!