Chaos Monster

This episode is more chaotic than usual, which means we did a good job.

The thing is, it features Zara's dad, who is a match for Archie when it comes to intellectual-adjacent tangents and astrological aptitude. 

So go ahead and listen if you want to learn too much information about Zara's dad's astrology chart, alien architects in the desert, the type of sex JFK had, and Archie's innovative ideas about abortion...

You will also learn the answers to: 

•Who influenced David Lynch?
•Did a blowjob in the Oval Office lead to the overturning of Roe V. Wade?
•Does Archie have what it takes to be a reality star? (What do you think?)
•Who is Zara's dad's favorite Chris?
•What is that new movie with a gun?
•Does Archie know who Joni Mitchell is? I can't tell.

Enjoy!(?)

Archie and Zara are joined by drag queens Puff the Magic Drag Queen and Dalt Flowers who mostly use the time to educate Zara on all things drag, despite the fact that she lives in West Hollywood. 

In addition to the history and political implications of drag, you can also expect to hear:

1. Archie still loving comic books
2. Zara's hypothetical drag name
3. TONS of audio glitches 
4. Advice on friendship breakups, which really just doesn't belong in this episode. 

please follow:
•@muacolby and @puffkween for Colby 
•@daltflowers for Dalton 

you will legit not be disappointed.

Enjoy the chaos! 

This time around, Archie and Zara are joined by Zara's sister, Natasha, to discuss depression, eating disorders, ADD, OCD, panic, death, and trauma. The fun stuff, mostly.

As always, you'll get 
1.Wallmart 
2.The boy from Casper 
3.Zara's Dad 
4.The Little Drummer Boy

PLUS: Did Zara and Natasha switch bodies while Natasha was still in utero? 

Find out now!!!

"The OC is no fun without the D." -Archie the prophet 

*For a couple of very important visuals, go to Instagram: @chaosmonsterpodcast*

Archie and Zara are joined by renaissance man, Kaleb, to discuss his adventures as a performer on Only Fans. 

Inevitably, they often get sidetracked and explore other fascinating topics such as: the genus and species of foxes, the likelihood of Archie getting murdered, and the fictional Only Fans accounts of several Glee characters. 

Plus, when you listen to this episode you will receive some very exciting bonuses, such as:

• Loopholes: how to get into heaven even if you kill yourself
• At least 10 gasps from Kaleb and twice as many shrieks 
• Archie and Kaleb's thorough reenactment of a scene from Glee (you're not gonna want to miss this)
• Real life spirals and main character moments
• AND special cameos from both Archie and Zara's dogs 

You can follow Kaleb on
Twitter: @KalebKevins
Instagram: @KalebKevins

In this cursed episode, Archie and Zara talk about what it means to be a slut, celebrate all kinds of debauchery, and give listeners permission to make mistakes, take [safe] chances, and leave their high school years in the past. 

While listening, keep in mind that we are proponents of 
1. safe sex 
2. consent 
3. sleeping with your friends' teachers, apparently

Also, most importantly, please follow Zara's dog on tiktok @shilohlisbondoodle

Join us (Archie and Zara) as we explore what it means to be a friend, and when you know to get rid of the losers who don't deserve you. 

Zara's brilliant advice for making new friends: get a dog.
Archie's brilliant advice for making new friends: get a better job in a town where your internet friends live.

For so much more wisdom, listen now! 

Join us, Archie and Zara, as we rebrand as CHAOS MONSTER!

Experiments in sobriety, sluttiness, and and getting the f*ck over your loser ex. What more could you possibly want from us?

Are we qualified to give you advice? Eh, maybe. But you're here, so we all better make the best of it. 

xo
A&Z

Archie and Zara are joined by Choreo and Cosplay Queen Tay BoBo to discuss England's second best girl group... LITTLE MIX!

Cancel culture, slut shaming, black fishing, and cyber bulling...this episode is FUN.

PLUS
•A corset made out of skin?
•Archie almost goes a whole episode without mentioning Walmart 
•Archie one again reviews his love for Devon Sawa, the man we all know as "Casper the ghost before he died of hypothermia or whatever." 

Today, Archie and Zara are joined by writer NATHANAEL to discuss the woman Archie worships and serves...Miley Destiny Hope Cyrus! 

Buckle up for a wild (and raunchy) ride ranging from educational pop songs about rollercoasters and pizza that cuts itself, all the way to the everything you EVER needed to know about gay sex. And yes, enough Miley talk to push the episode into the one hour twenty minute range, the longest yet! 

Bonuses include: 
•Selena Gomez tries to break into Zara's room
•Archie falls in love with The Little Drummer Boy
•Nathanael steals the show 
•Lastly: Archie says "velour" instead of "volition" .... which feels fair. 

Archie and Zara are joined by actress and writer, Emily Robinson, to discuss vampire queen and gay icon Kristen Stewart. Listen as they cover her roles from Bella to Princess Diana, speculate what she'd be like playing a Batman villain, and hypothesize on the dynamics between her and Taylor Swift. 

PLUS
•Zara encounters dramatic technical difficulties.
•The Joker's face is ripped off and then he staples it back onto himself.
•Archie talks about the moment Casper becomes a real boy. Again.