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Sansa’s dress has arrived. It’s as beautiful as she’d hoped but there’s a rather large string attached. It’s a wedding dress and the groom is Tyrion. Sansa protests. Tyrion commiserates. Joffrey is awful. The whole thing is a fiasco, and their post-wedding bedding goes equally as poorly. Simon and Mackelly keep the receipt for their wedding gift.

Chapter Review:
Sansa Stark finally gets her long-awaited dress she’d been measured for a while back. She loves it and can’t wait for Willas Tyrell to see her in it. She’s sure it will make him love her for who she is, not her claim to Winterfell. She has Queen Cersei’s entire retinue of handmaids working on beautifying her. Right when she couldn’t be any happier about how she looks in the dress, Cersei drops the bomb saying it’s wasted on “that gargoyle.” Turns out it’s a wedding dress and her groom will be Tyrion Lannister. She refuses and tries to flee, but ultimately concedes to her fate.
At the sept, Tyrion offers to call it off, if she’d prefer to marry Lancel Lannister. Sansa figures it doesn’t matter. A Lannister is a Lannister. Sansa cries throughout the wedding and things only get worse when Tyrion can’t reach Sansa’s shoulders to put the Lannister cloak on her. The wedding feast doesn’t improve on things, ending with Tyrion threatening to geld King Joffrey.
Later in a bedchamber in the Tower of the Hand, the new couple struggle to connect. Sansa is too polite, and too young. Tyrion brings up his previous wife. He makes her undress and get into bed but ultimately can’t go through with the bedding. He offers not to touch her until she wants him to. She says that might never happen.

Characters/Places/Names/Events:
Sansa Stark - Elder daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark.
Tyrion Lannister - Youngest son of Tywin Lannister. Brother to queen Cersei and Jamie Lannister.
Margaery Tyrell - Fiancee of King Joffrey Baratheon.
Lady Olenna Tyrell - Mother of Lord Mace Tyrell and grandmother to Margaery.
Ser Dontos Hollard - Fool to King Joffrey, confidante of Sansa Stark. Has a plan to rescue her, but is rather too fond of a tipple.
Willas Tyrell - Heir to Highgarden. In some measure disabled by a horse as a child.
Queen Cersei Lannister - Widow of King Robert Baratheon, twin sister of Ser Jamie Lannister. Mother of King J

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