Chatabix

David and Joe have had a lot of problems with the narrowboat so ask Mr Taylor to come round so they can run through everything that has gone wrong. Mr Taylor is making a massive crumble. He tells them all about his winklepickers and then his assistant ticklish Tel knocks on the door. Mr Taylor owns 12 themed barges that he manages with his other assistant Logan. Tel sings a fleetwood mac song and Mr Taylor trys to recite the names of each of the barges.

(Mr Taylor is played by the amazing Seb Cardinal)

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David and Joe get some narrowboating tips and tales from Eddie Phillips an old guy who's been hanging about the canal for nigh on 40 years. Ted recites some poems from his new book Tales of a Seafaring Man and tells them about his wife Sheila who slipped off the boat into the sluice gate after drinking too much Mateus Rose. He then went on to have an affair with Sheena (or was it Shona?) and Patrick Duffy saw a ghost in his toilet.

(Eddie Phillips is played by Alex Lowe who has announced a new tour for 2024 as Clinton Baptiste www.clintonbaptiste.com )

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David & Joe's brother Paul is coming to visit them on the narrowboat. They are a bit nervous as Paul has just finished an 18 year stretch inside. While they wait for him to arrive they struggle to remember their favourite Paul stories. When Paul turns up he tells them all about his crimes, childhood illnesses and how he passed his time in solitary. David has made Paul some spag bol but Paul has brought his own lunch. The visit doesn't go well.

(Brother Paul is played by Alistair Green who is currently touring his own show)

https://showandtellpresents.com/events/what-are-we-like-eh#shows

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David & Joe are looking for someone to clean their new narrowboat. They come across Davide Darood who lives in a thatched cottage and has a plethora of businesses including a cleaning company called Lemony Zing. Davide takes a look at the boat which is covered in weetabix and decides he may need his assistant Jammie to help him clean it.

Davide Darood played by Greg McHugh who be will taking another of his great characters Gary Tank Commander to the Edinburgh Festival this year

‘Gary Talks: YOUS LISTEN!’ 

18-28th August (not 22nd) 

Gilded Balloon

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David & Joe meet Edward who is the custodian of the boat they have just purchased from Mr Taylor. He is supposed to be giving them the keys and showing them how to drive the narrowboat but is listening to Ian Dale. Edward makes them a cup of tea and tells them about a murder. They start the boat up with one of the 14 keys. It ends up in a bit of a barney and Edward ends up in the canal.

(Edward is played by John Kearns www.johnkearnscomedy.co.uk )

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David & Joe decide to buy Mr Taylor's narrowboat so they go to see him in the pub to do a deal. He tells them all about his girlfriend Lilibet and they meet Johnson who is related to Noddy Holder. They handover the cash and Mr Taylor's real name is revealed by Lilibet.

(Mr Taylor & Lilibet played by Seb Cardinal)

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David and Joe decide they need three Red Setters for the boat. They go to see Mr Cooper who has three identical dogs of different sizes for sale and a room full of sedated dogs. He tells them about his friends Lilian & Peter Driftwood and Peter Lake. Mr Cooper also has a lamination and de-lamination business as a sideline.

Mr Cooper devised and played by Robert Popper

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David and Joe have start to think about the realities of owning a canal boat. They discuss their roles and responsibilities and run through a checklist for narrow boat owners. They decide to buy three skittish red setters called Aerial, Archive and Barney.

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David and Joe go to look at another boat on the same stretch of canal. They drop in on a surprised Mrs Falconio and ask about buying her big 57ft narrowboat. Mrs Falconio tells them all about her husband Jonny who is in a coma due to a cricket accident. Then Mrs Falconio introduces them to Martin who happens to be building a dock for the boat. (Mrs Falconio is played by Anna Crilly)

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David and Joe wake up in the AirBNB in Glenfield. They take a drive back to Rothley to see if the owner of the boat they want to buy is at home. His name is Mr Taylor. To his surprise they ask to see the boat. Mr Taylor tells them all about his son, a man called Gerald and Avocado Attack. They try to guess his age and he shows them round the boat.

(the brilliant character Mr Taylor devised and played by the amazing Seb Cardinal)

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KILM

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