When Katie told Carl that this week's book was not so much ABOUT baseball as it was baseball-adjacent, he was undeterred. When he found out what it was REALLY about, he was equally undeterred because we've been doing this for three years now and frankly, he's seen it all. But that doesn't mean that we didn't have a blast with Howls and Home Runs by Biblio Barbie, because we absolutely did! Tune in for some high quality sentient object smut with a heap of spice!

Book Description

The Westland Wolves are known for three things: a winning record, hot shot rookies, and Wilder, their wolf mascot.

After some unfortunate circumstances, the team rebrands to move forward. With a new and improved mascot suit, revamped stadium, and a new handler, the Westland Wolves are sure to make a comeback.

Wilder
I’m not sure when I became whatever this is, but I’ve been this way for a while now. I sit in my locker awaiting a new season and then one day she opens my locker. Sunshine In human form, lighting up the emptiness inside of me.

Lainey
Running from my past, I end up in a new town applying for a mascot handler position for the Westland Wolves. Being the famous Wilder’s handler is not what I expected. Can I make this work? Or will I end up running from this town, too?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: mention of past trauma and resulting PTSD/Panic Attacks (MMC, FMC), Mention of past parental maltreatment (FMC), Accidental death (mild gore), on-page murder of a secondary character, sexual harassment of the FMC, blood and bodily fluids, mustache hating.

TROPES: sentient object romance featuring human, cis/het FMC, and non-human MMC who has gained sentience, instalove.

TITILLATIONS: graphic sex, fellatio, cunnilingus, knotting, fluids - like a lot of fluids, detachable parts, “Good Boy".

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Found

Carl: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Nothing I can type here will prepare you for the spicy blast that is Portal to Pleasure by Viano Oniomoh, so go ahead and smash the heck out of that "play" button. Don't believe me? Sneak a look at the book description and tell me you don't wanna know more.

Book Description

When my best friend sends me the screenshot of an article titled “Female masturbation can apparently open a ‘portal to hell’”, after the day I’d had, I’d jokingly replied with, “Guess who’s about to open ten thousand portals up in this bitch???”

I don’t expect the universe to actually call my bluff, and have my first mind-blowing orgasm in years rip open a literal portal in my bathroom. Now there are three fantastical beings in my home, and I don’t think they plan on leaving until they get what they want.

And what they apparently want is me.

(Producer's Note: told you.)

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: mentions and references to a terrible boss, brief mention and references to emotionally abusive parents, brief mention and reference to an emotionally abusive/manipulative ex, brief reference to the FMC having a total hysterectomy.

TROPES: MMMF erotica feat Black Cisgender Bisexual FMC, Cisgender Pansexual Non-Human MMCs (shout out to Viano for her representation tab on all her books.)  Queerotica, fluff, strangers-to-lovers, high heat.

TITILLATIONS: no plot only porn, queer polycule (swordcrossing) masturbation, use of toys, multiple partners, manual restraints, unique anatomy, fellatio, cunnilingus, anilingus, sex without a condom (not to be emulated), double penetration, tentacles.

So...What Are you Into?

Katie: "Abbey" by Mitski and "check" by bbno$

Carl: Trash Theory on YouTube and "Holy Ghost" by The Bar-Kays

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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We're working overtime here at Smutco Industries and didn't have time to record a new episode, so as a special lil' treat, we're giving everyone a chance to hear our first-ever Patreon bonus episode, in which Carl covered Butcher & Blackbird by Brynne Weaver! If you're a fan of this show, you're probably VERY familiar with this breakout sensation, but if you've yet to take the plunge, let this episode be your introduction!

Book Description

A friends-to-lovers dark romantic comedy full of murder, chaos, and spice, unlike anything you’ve heard before.

Every serial killer needs a friend. Every game must have a winner.

When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive—the friendship of a like-minded, pitch-black soul. From small-town West Virginia to upscale California, from downtown Boston to rural Texas, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country.

But as their friendship develops into something more, the restless ghosts left in their wake are only a few steps behind, ready to claim more than just their newfound love.

Can Rowan and Sloane dig themselves out of a game of graves?

Or have they finally met their match?

Triple T's (Triggers, Tropes, and Titillations)

• Eyeballs and eye sockets 

• Amateur surgery

• Skin ornaments

• Chainsaws, axes, knives, scalpels - a lot of sharp objects

• Accidental cannibalism

• Not-so-accidental cannibalism

• Questionable use of a mummified corpse

• Lobotomized man servant

• Ill-advised use of kitchen implements

• I’m sorry about the cookies and cream ice cream (I’m not really)

• Detailed sex scenes which include (but are not limited to) cock warming, rough sex, praise kink, anal, adult toys, choking, spitting, dom/sub interactions, genital piercings

• References to parental neglect and child abuse

• Parental loss (not depicted - one parent murdered, one parent passed in child birth)

• References to child sexual assault (not in detail)

• It’s a book about serial killers, so there’s some generally messed-up murder and chaos.

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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This week's vibes are immaculate and light as we cozy up with Lindsay Reign's Spacetacular Holiday Novellas! You get two novellas in this episode, and both are full of snuggles and plenty of spice!

Book Descriptions

Rocket Around the Christmas Tree

What's the worst possible thing that can happen when you are traveling home for the holiday season?
An ice asteroid storm that halts all forms of space travel and leaves you stranded in a spaceport full of alien creatures with no available rooms at the local Inn. Then someone takes the last one of your favorite pastry treats right off the shelf in front of you. A truly unforgivable crime.
Until you meet his tawny eyes.
This handsome stranger offers to take you to the next town over to find a place to sleep, and feeling a strong pull to be near him, you agree. But once you're there you realize that he's hiding a big secret.
One that can either tear the two of you apart.

be my vALIENtine

After meeting a roguishly handsome alien in an airport and spending the Christmas holiday teaching him about the Earthen holiday festivities, you find yourself drawn to him and his world.
He sweeps you into a whirlwind romance full of castles and royal parties, but instead of falling head over heels, you feel out of place and in the way in this foreign land. The only creatures that seem interested in what you have to say are the children. They beg to hear stories and tales of all the other Earthen holiday seasons, with one in particular.
Valentines Day.
Can you really fight the pull when an alien shoots you with Cupid's arrow?
Star Wars meets Hallmark in this cozy, holiday novella as Seraphine teaches Zy about the Earthen holiday Valentine's day. For an alien from another planetary system, he picks up on the romance quickly and makes this a night to remember.

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: miscommunication and deliberate deception, discussion of death of a spouse/loss of a parent, themes of loneliness and isolation.

TROPES: M/F cis/het alien/human romance. Cozy holiday romance, Hallmark vibes, single dad, prince in disguise, stranded by the weather, alien discovers holidays.

TITILLATIONS: unique anatomy, only one bed.

So...What Are You Into?

Nothing, because I forgot to ask.

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Sure, the rise of AI could give us Skynet, but what if it gave us knee-buckling orgasms instead? Only one author is brave enough to ask that hard-hitting question, and that author is G.M Fairy! Join us this week as we take on My AI and ponder the ethics of soooooo many things.

Book Description

After social media star Azzy, has a very public panic attack at a red-carpeted award show, her best friend orders her an Andro Corp. Bodyguard. When her robot bodyguard gets delivered, Azzy quickly realizes Model REM082 is the man of her dreams. Things start heating up as Remmy, as she likes to call him, becomes more and more sentient and does whatever it takes to please her.

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: mention/description of past trauma (abduction, suicide, sexual assault, and stalking), on-page descriptions of non-consensual abduction, stalking, panic-attacks, sexual assault and violence.

TROPES: M/F/M Cis/Het menage romance, Android romance, Celebrity & Bodyguard, Build-A-Boyfriend, AI Awakening, I-Robot, but with fuckin', no really, it’s why-choose, I SWEAR!

TITILLATIONS: he was literally made for her, his first LITERALLY everything, cock sold separately, superlative “little slut”, throat fucking, DVP.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Mononoke the Movie: Phantom in the Rain

Carl: Therapy

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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WE'RE BACK, BABY! Season three of Cheap Smut is kicking off with those cozy monster vibes we love and appreciate, and the object of our affection this week isBowling With Bigfootby Eden Crowe. We didn't make any "gutter ball" jokes because we respect our listeners, but boy did we want to!

Book Description

Hazel Reed considers Bigfoot, better known as Eric “Big E” Sasqui, to be her mortal enemy. She thought she’d never have to deal with her annoying, academic rival again after graduation. But sure enough, ten years later, he’s her biggest competition on the bowling alley lanes. Her life is stressful enough without the towering hunk hanging around.

When sparks between them start to fly, Hazel will have to confront the secrets she’s spent years keeping, including knowing just who is responsible for a leaked photo that ruined Eric’s life. But is the lifelong theater nerd ready for how the former jock will react?

There’s nothing Eric desires more than being able to live his life in the open, not having to hide his true Sasquatch form, but life got a whole lot harder when a tabloid photo of him put the public eye on Mistwood. Bowling helps him escape his overbearing family, but there’s also the added plus that it puts him in close proximity to the curvy girl who always caught his eye back in high school.

When Eric concocts a plan to help Hazel with the struggles she’s been hiding, he’ll put her acting abilities to the test and turn them both into a viral sensation on the spicier side of the internet. What happens when the two find that they’re no longer playing for profit and instead falling fast for their former opponent? Are the pins split against them? Or does Bigfoot have the balls to roll for romance while there’s plenty of heat to spare?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS:mentions of death/loss/grief, discussion of opiate addiction, overdose, and rehab, debt and money, digital sex work, fat main character and depictions of self-shame.

TROPES:F/M cis/het romance human/sasquatch, cozy romance supernatural small town, enemies to lovers, sports rivals (bowling).

TITILLATIONS:sasquatch, sasquatch’s dick, fat woman gets railed, sex outdoors, some primal play (run, little Bunny,) light choking, biting, exhibitionism/voyeurism/filmed sex. 

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: "Die With a Smile" by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars

Carl: "Otonoke" by Creepy Nuts

BONUS LINK: DAN DA DAN Opening Credits

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Season two comes to a close in spectacular fashion, as Katie was thrilled to present Mean One by Ab. Cynthe. Yes, it's a Grinch-fucker book, and yes, we know you're dying to read it, so go and read it!

Book Description

(Producer's Note: Yes, that's the whole description. Personally, I appreciate Ab. Cynthe's brevity, but we're gonna need the extra space for the Triple T's.)

Triple T's: Abuse (Emotional, Physical, and Mental), Anxiety, Mention of Arson, Biting, Blood, Blood Play, Breath Play, Bullying, Childhood Trauma (Physical and Mental), Consumption of Blood, Death, Death of a Loved One, Detailed Sexual Scenes, Dismemberment, Domestic Abuse, Drinking, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Desecration of a Corpse, Decapitation, Erotic Asphyxiation, Gagging, Gore, Human Slaughter, Light BDSM, Manipulation, Masochism, Masturbation, Mild Voyeurism, Misogyny, Monster Sex, Murder, Mutilation of a Corpse, Obsession, Pegging, Public Teasing, Public Sex, Physical Abuse, Possessiveness, Profanity, PTSD, Sadism, Slut Shaming, Sexual Objectification, Sexual Manipulation, Sex On/Near a Dead Body, Sex Work, Sodomy, Stalking, Torture, Trauma, Unhealthy Emotional Attachment, Unprotected Sex, Violence, and Voyeurism. You may think you know the story of the Grinch, but I promise, this one is much darker. 

(Producer's Note: Told you.)

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Cheap Smut

Carl: One Cut of the Dead

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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(Producer's Note: We had technical difficulties at the outset of our recording, so this profile is shorter than our typical Author Profile episodes.)

For our final Author Profile of 2024, we were pleased to be joined by Sara Furlong Burr. Join us and hear which sport she wishes was more popular in the smut community, and why she'd never write a hockey romance.

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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It's an all-Michigan episode this week, as your Michigan-based hosts are proud to present Accidentally Under Your Tree by fellow Michigander Marty Vee! If you like your Christmas trees real and your dating fake, this is the book for you!

Book Description

Chatting with a beautiful woman at the hotel bar the night before...is probably harmless too. Their chemistry is instantaneous, and he's lost to her deep brown eyes.

Lizzy needs one night away before the chaotic week of Christmas, and the stress of dealing with her sister. When the winter storm cuts out the hotel's power, and she finds herself falling for the sexy man whose hands she'd been lusting over.

She has the one-night stand she never thought she'd go for.
Their night was perfect, but Will showing up for Christmas as her sister's new man...that was less perfect.

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: realistic depictions of anxiety, and family and the holidays.

TROPES: F/M cis/heterosexual, flashbacks, one night stand, home for the holidays, fake dating, small town romance, third act breakup, who turned out the lights?

TITILLATIONS: mirrors, we gotta be quiet.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: RRR

Carl: "Aankh Maare" from Simmba

BONUS LINK: "Aankh Maare O Ladka Aankh Maare" from Tere Mere Sapne

BONUS LINK: "RATATATA" by Babymetal and Electric Callboy

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Katie is spreading holiday cheer with the a steamy office romance this week, courtesy of Lana Love! Give us a listen as Katie walks us through S.I.L.F., and try not to think about how overworked the HR departments must be in these books!

Book Description

Triple T's

atphobia, internalized fatphobia, rich people.

TROPES: BBW, billionaire boss, Christmas romance, a bit of Cinderella for flavor, "ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli"

TITILLATIONS: hot fat redhead, he loves the taste.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: the love of a great pet

Carl: "Come to Daddy (Pappy Mix)" by Aphex Twin

BONUS LINK: "Six Days" by DJ Shadow

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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