Cheap Smut

When we debuted Cheap Smut in February of 2023, there was no way we could have imagined that we would make it to one hundred episodes. And yet, not only did we make it to one hundred episodes, the stars aligned and we ended up recording it in Baltimore because we were influencer guests at the first-ever Monsterotica Book Con.

In celebration of our centennial episode, we're honoring the works of Dr. Chuck Tingle, because were it not for his groundbreaking works, Cheap Smut would not be here today. We also chat about the new theme song, and we get mushy about how proud we are of our show. (We were very tired and a tad inebriated...we were partying!)

Book Description

Through the history of prose there have been many tales that awaken the imagination and stir the soul, but true literary giants are few and far between. Still, every few decades an author will come along to reshape the landscape of fiction forever, authoring true classics that stand the test of time and serve as historical landmarks for generations of readers to come.

One such author is Chuck Tingle.

Collected within are seven of Chuck’s greatest works, breathtaking journeys through the world of classic literature that will melt your heart and pound your butt.
Featuring…

The Picture Of Dorian Gay
20,000 Pounds Into My Butt
Happy Birthday Frankenstein, Now Pound My Butt*
Happy Birthday Dracula, Now Pound My Butt
I Have No Butt And I Must Pound*
The Great Gatsbutt
The Tell-Tale Butt*

(* = featured on the episode)

Triple T's: as is always the case with Chuck Tingle episodes, your Triple T's are Tingle Shit, Tingle Shit, and Tingle Shit.

Pounded By The Classics on Amazon

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Music: "Storytime" by Mated Fates

Things are hectic at Smutco Industries as we prepare for Monsterotica Book Con, so this week we're letting off some steam and revisiting our beloved New York Nighthawks! Join us as Katie quarterbacks us through Spread Offense by Fiona Davenport, and find out if our running back of an MMC fumbles his dream girl!

Book Description

Gage Ledger didn’t know Rory Abernathy beyond her online gamer tag, but he still couldn’t get her off his mind. Although he’d never met her in real life, he had a feeling he’d finally met his match in the quirky and intelligent woman who he’d looked forward to talking with every day over the summer.

Rory hadn’t expected to come face-to-face with her favorite professional football player on the first day of her internship for the New York Nighthawks. Or to discover he was the gamer she’d fallen for. As her two worlds collide, she just has to hope the coincidence doesn’t cause problems for her at work.

Triple T's

TRIGGERS:  toxic patriarchy and heteronormative dynamics.  (Just suspend your disbelief and lean in, it’s easier.)

TROPES: F/M Cis/Het, instalove, age-gap, football romance, nerds in love.

TITILLATIONS: virgin FMC, mile high club, nipple piercing and nipple play, unprotected sex, edging.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Makin' Stuff!

Carl: 33 1/3 Books

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Monsterotica Book Con is right around the corner (DO NOT REMIND US WE ARE NOT READY!!!), but we had time to get one more attending author's book in front of Katie! And what a book it was, 'cause we were sweating by the end of Blood Moon by Jillian Graves! The spice is as high as the stakes are in this one!

Book Description

Hazel knows exactly how to get over her bar's troubles: getting under something big, hairy, and monstrous at her coven's supernatural mixer. The hottest club in Los Angeles may be luring away her clientele, but for just one night she is ditching her responsibilities and indulging her fantasies.
But the relief the witch seeks looks nothing like what she expects. Fur-free and bearing fangs, Vlad is more than an anonymous one-night stand. He's the mind-reading vampire whose every success brings Hazel's bar one step closer to ruin.
After a century away from LA, Vlad has opened a club for humans and supernaturals alike. But a hot hookup brings him face-to-mind with the curvy witch who stands between him and his dreams. Understanding her desires as well as her heartfelt ambitions means navigating a passion studded with pitfalls.

Will mixing business and pleasure brew a delicious new future together, or leave them with one hell of a supernatural hangover?

Brief Descriptions of Long Books: Crystal Iris by Blair M. Shadows

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: violence, main character suffers a minor injury, vampirism, blood, blood play and blood exchange, sex under (magical) influence, sexual power dynamics do not reflect best practices.

TROPES: F/M Cis/Het paranormal romance ft plus sized, tall, witch FMC and a century old vampire MMC. grumpy/smart-ass, one night stand, lovers-to-rivals-to-lovers, the real enemy is the guy in the suit.

TITILLATIONS: praise, light degradation (“good little slut”). Exhibition and voyeurism, mirror play, cum play, “reading your mind to fuck you right.”

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Doctor Odyssey

Carl: Peglin

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Katie has never hidden her love for the cozier books we cover, and this week the cozy gets cute with Kass O'Shire's The Curious Incident of the Great Cookie Snackcident of 979!

Book Description

The Curious Incident of the Great Cookie Snackcident of 979 is a cozy, slower burn workplace romance with two MCs who connect over a shared passion for their calling. It features a demi heroine, a non-binary shadow monster, wooing with snacks, footnotes from an in world narrator, and shadow tentacle play!

Brief Description of a Long Book: Green and Gold by Gwendolyn Harper

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: religion and worship of a fictional deity, reference to past sexual insecurities and pressuring, poop jokes and frank discussions of human body function, mild body horror.

TROPES: F/Nb queer romance ft a demi-sexual Human woman and a non-binary shadow creature, slow burn, cozy romance, gaslamp, cooking and baking.

TITILLATIONS: semi-corporeal and entirely malleable main character, tentacles…lots of tentacles.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Transplant

Carl: "Drugs" by Fernando Silverio Solis

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Katie was such a fan of Thea Masen's My Date With a Rubber Duckie (which we covered in our March Patreon bonus episode) that she wanted to do ANOTHER Thea Masen book! And that is why this week, we're talking about Stiff, the book that dares to ask the question, "What's the worst way to get punished when you pull a 'Rail n' Bail' on a witch expecting reciprocal cunnilingus?"

Also: we're trying out a new segment this week where we briefly highlight a second book for your consideration. This week's book: Disadvantage by S.A. Burd!

Book Description

Have you ever wished you could curse a man for being selfish in bed?
Felicity Stiff has writer’s block. She’s trying to finish a book on the history of pleasure, but keeps getting stuck. Until her agent sends her a salacious gift.

Lord Richard has been stuck as a "toy" for centuries, slave to the desires of the women he once used. But when Felicity breaks his curse, he’s given a new ultimatum: learn how to give or be cursed to remain a tool for someone else’s pleasure forever.

Will he prove himself to be Richard or stay a dick?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: selfish men, curse magic, revenge, dubious consent and non-consent, sex facts of questionable accuracy. 

TROPES: F/M Cis/Het romance, inanimate object, witch’s punishment, the porn is the plot, that dick is a guy.

TITILLATIONS: historical sex toys, magical blow job, a lot of semen (like, a lot), use of toys (historical and modern), mild degradation.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: The Hunting Party

Carl: Fever House by Keith Rosson

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Were K.L. Hiers still able to attend Monsterotica Book Con, we would lay upon them the biggest of hugs for Shoulda Swiped Left. They can no longer attend, so instead we will heap praise upon their retelling of a classic myth for your listening pleasure.

Book Description

Joseph Abrams can't believe he's found his perfect match through online dating. Zale Petropoulos is hot, charming, and just the right amount of mysterious.

They meet for their first date and the sparks fly all the way through dinner and right through dessert.

But Zale has a confession to make and finally reveals his secret…

He’s god of the Underworld.

And Joseph is his new prince-consort.

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: manipulation, love bombing, godly trickery, mild body horror, mild violence, on-page sexual assault, Zeus, temporary character death, excessive quotation of Firefly.

TROPES: M/M Cis/Homosexual romance, Hades and Persephone myth, messing with mythology, nerds in love.

TITILLATIONS: gods don’t need prep, bathtub sex.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Delicious In Dungeons

Carl: "Over and Over" by Hot Chip

BONUS LINK #1: "Satan Said Dance" by Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

BONUS LINK #2: Poisson Steve by tomo

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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We're gearing up for Monsterotica Book Con here at Smutco Industries, and this week we're featuring another MBC author: Lizzie Strong! Katie could not stop gushing about Gotten By The Gator, a book she described as "like reading a cloud." Tune in and see why that is the highest form of compliment coming from the Smutco CEO!

Book Description

Aurora's ex-husband got everything in the divorce—the dog, the house, the car, everything—and she's left to pick up the pieces. Crawling back home to her mother with her tail between her legs, she expecting a big, fat "I told you so" waiting for her in the small, woodsy farmland of Oklahoma. What she gets is a bottle of wine, a hug, and a drunken adventure into the woods with the mom she left behind to follow her heart. Now, she's got to figure out what's in store for her...but also, where did her shoes go? Retracing her steps the morning after is a journey, but it gets weirder when she finds her phone still intact in the middle of the woods. Even more suspiciously, there's a new app installed, something called KisMet—a dating app? Seriously? To her chagrin, it starts a cheesy game of hide-n-seek to 'help her find all she's looking for', which leads her to a cabin deep in the woods with a massive gator man standing on the front porch.
Yuri is the grumpiest gator there ever was, but he has a heart of gold, a soft touch, and a hunger for her that reminds her she's worth more than being some rich man's charity case. Aurora is an experience—a messy, still-figuring-it-out experience, but one Yuri is more than happy to play hide-n-seek with. Will she find what she's looking for in the surly but sweet gator, or is she doomed to be a hot-mess express all her life?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: past domestic abuse (emotional), divorce, depictions of childhood bullying and attempted drowning, social isolation and depression, some physical violence, light gore in the course of rural veterinary medicine.

TROPES: F/M Cis/Het romance ft human FMC and mostly human MMC, grumpy/sunshine, finding love post-divorce, fated mates, dating app, magic in the trees.

TITILLATIONS: super-strong MMC, unique anatomy, hunting/primal play, stuffing, breeding kink, tail play, biting/marking, sex outdoors, sex in a public space.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: The Residence

Carl: I May Be a Guild Receptionist, But I'll Solo Any Boss to Clock Out On Time

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Spring Break at Smutco Industries brought in some bad vibes, but we're shaking them off and going out of this world with How to Land an Alien Boyfriend by Cassie O. Peia, better known to you smut lovers as Dakota Cockaday! Join us as we ponder the great mysteries of the universe, like how can one MMC be so oily, yet so dry!

Book Description

It was just another day at work when Araceli Martinez met her fated mate. Okay, so “met” might not be the right word... more like she tried to hit him with a crowbar. Now Araceli is stuck with an alien boyfriend she doesn’t want and the future of the Earth in her hands. Will she be able to keep aliens from showing up to “relocate” humans to a refugee planet all while thwarting the sweet, nerdy alien who’s determined to win her over for good?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: discussions of infertility & IVF, pregnancy loss/child born sleeping, Military PTSD in main character (including mention of suicide), divorce and post-divorce abuse, elderly character in danger, depictions of a character in acute physical pain.

TROPES: F/M Cis/Het alien romance ft human FMC and extra-terrestrial MMC, divorcee romance, eldest daughter syndrome, invasion story, fated mates & DAKOTA DEMANDS AN ANIMAL COMPANION!

TITLLATIONS: slow burn, unique anatomy (?), mild spicy.

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Death and Other Details

Carl: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch From Mercury

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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When Katie told Carl that this week's book was not so much ABOUT baseball as it was baseball-adjacent, he was undeterred. When he found out what it was REALLY about, he was equally undeterred because we've been doing this for three years now and frankly, he's seen it all. But that doesn't mean that we didn't have a blast with Howls and Home Runs by Biblio Barbie, because we absolutely did! Tune in for some high quality sentient object smut with a heap of spice!

Book Description

The Westland Wolves are known for three things: a winning record, hot shot rookies, and Wilder, their wolf mascot.

After some unfortunate circumstances, the team rebrands to move forward. With a new and improved mascot suit, revamped stadium, and a new handler, the Westland Wolves are sure to make a comeback.

Wilder
I’m not sure when I became whatever this is, but I’ve been this way for a while now. I sit in my locker awaiting a new season and then one day she opens my locker. Sunshine In human form, lighting up the emptiness inside of me.

Lainey
Running from my past, I end up in a new town applying for a mascot handler position for the Westland Wolves. Being the famous Wilder’s handler is not what I expected. Can I make this work? Or will I end up running from this town, too?

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: mention of past trauma and resulting PTSD/Panic Attacks (MMC, FMC), Mention of past parental maltreatment (FMC), Accidental death (mild gore), on-page murder of a secondary character, sexual harassment of the FMC, blood and bodily fluids, mustache hating.

TROPES: sentient object romance featuring human, cis/het FMC, and non-human MMC who has gained sentience, instalove.

TITILLATIONS: graphic sex, fellatio, cunnilingus, knotting, fluids - like a lot of fluids, detachable parts, “Good Boy".

So...What Are You Into?

Katie: Found

Carl: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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Nothing I can type here will prepare you for the spicy blast that is Portal to Pleasure by Viano Oniomoh, so go ahead and smash the heck out of that "play" button. Don't believe me? Sneak a look at the book description and tell me you don't wanna know more.

Book Description

When my best friend sends me the screenshot of an article titled “Female masturbation can apparently open a ‘portal to hell’”, after the day I’d had, I’d jokingly replied with, “Guess who’s about to open ten thousand portals up in this bitch???”

I don’t expect the universe to actually call my bluff, and have my first mind-blowing orgasm in years rip open a literal portal in my bathroom. Now there are three fantastical beings in my home, and I don’t think they plan on leaving until they get what they want.

And what they apparently want is me.

(Producer's Note: told you.)

Triple T's

TRIGGERS: mentions and references to a terrible boss, brief mention and references to emotionally abusive parents, brief mention and reference to an emotionally abusive/manipulative ex, brief reference to the FMC having a total hysterectomy.

TROPES: MMMF erotica feat Black Cisgender Bisexual FMC, Cisgender Pansexual Non-Human MMCs (shout out to Viano for her representation tab on all her books.)  Queerotica, fluff, strangers-to-lovers, high heat.

TITILLATIONS: no plot only porn, queer polycule (swordcrossing) masturbation, use of toys, multiple partners, manual restraints, unique anatomy, fellatio, cunnilingus, anilingus, sex without a condom (not to be emulated), double penetration, tentacles.

So...What Are you Into?

Katie: "Abbey" by Mitski and "check" by bbno$

Carl: Trash Theory on YouTube and "Holy Ghost" by The Bar-Kays

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Music: "Nostalgia" by Makaih Beats

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