Let's unwind the grind of reality with Pick 70:"Hey, Slick!" Flick Pick: 30 Second Egress--Waingro's Got to Go Six Feet Below (Tense Diners and Body Bag Trunk Liners) (30 Seconds Flat, Café Chitchat, Downtown Combat and a Grim Reaper Rat); (Heat, 1995)

Today, we discuss--the most horrifying hockey mask adorning monster since Jason fstars Voorhees, but, upon deeper reflection, Waingro gives me more willies than Voorhees, the likelihood Waingro uses rubbers to minimize his criminal DNA coupled with the liklihood he is already nursing an STD, how chasing, tackling and smothering your curly haired Appalachian accented dame on a hill behind her home is neither romantic nor a friendly game of touch football, how easily Val's ponytail could get stuck in the vault door, why diner grillers' should be paid a heftier salary and treated with more respect, when you see slick shiz leaking out of an armored guards ears, the polite, societal approach is to write your message down on paper with a colorful crayon and had Neil's crew simply possessed one suppressor for their pistol, Waingro would have been dispatched and disposed of which would have spared the life of that sightly red bra wearing discrete street hoe.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: The bank is worth the risk, me, I'll let them stop--but never frisk, receiving my bank heist schematics on floppy disk Neil-Falsetto Prophet-McCauley and my co-host, snorts a little coke, drinks a little Dr. Pepper, uses salty language to turn up the HEAT and increase the pressure: Vincent-Brother J-Dawg Hanna

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, in your favorite well-worn, stale chair, rustle up some popcorn, fresh as fstars, the antithesisto that stale a** chair, we just mentioned, zoom in and zone out as we unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.

Fallen is the flick, so very slick, hence our fstars pick! When Slick Flick Pick is near, shake no stranger's hands shuffling along the alleys, subway platforms or corridors of busy streets, smash any speakers blasting a song by The RollingStones, forego cereal and replace with angelically French toast, take a cab instead of the subway, isolate,  yourroomie brother and nephew doubly appreciate and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's and Red Devil's voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. We're your worthwhile cinephiles; you're our cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the realworld's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this satanically spooky slick, faith fractured, fragmented and frayed, almost to the point of being filleted, flick, pious, prayerful and periodically practicing but incorruptibly pure policeman pick.

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… We offer you: Pick 69: Slick Flick Possessional Pick: Denzazel--What Goes Around Comes a Hellhound, (From Goodman to a Man Possessed); (Cop, Cat and the Unholy Spirit); (Fallen, 1998).

Today, we discuss--the prophetic and retroactively applicable words spoken by John Constantine regarding cats: cats are good, half in, half out anyway in the film Constantine, how Hobbes wishing that ridding himself of a sinister spirit or making sense of this consecrated carnage clusterfu** was as easy as blowing the collected dust out his precinct coffee mug, why the vessel Azazel spends the most time in is also the prettiest and likely the most wicked, when you perform a satanic, suicidal, self-sacrificing, self-fulfilling, more poison than standard poison laced cigarette, ritual in a desolate cabin deep in the heart of the woods, do make sure there are no critters or cats within 500 cubits, the duality in color recognition illustrated by the fact that the whitest, no cream on the side, immune from bribe taking, incorruptible and angelic bright white knight is also black and where an Azazel inhabited vessel might seek and qualify for a better dental plan provider for their rotting, rootless teeth.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: Your Azazel with eyes more brown than hazel, Falsetto Prophet and co-host, eyes as big and brown as they are covered in fiery shades of red hair, Red Devil

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Whether binding open or cover shut, you've wed the novel--the flick serves merely as your mistress-- soon to be the Wendols' cave dwelling, their queen mother's bloated baby swelling, local mist blanketed village scaring, bear's wares wearing--slut.

Here, we unwind some novel binding for this is where final cut greets papercut!

The Slick Flick Pick we will be discussing: Pick 68: Slick FlickPick: Vikings and Fire-Breathing Things--Beware Those Who Wear Bear's Wares (Mist Forming, Fire-Worming, Village Storming); (The 13th Warrior, 1999) and while that flick was undeniably entertaining, rare, swashbuckling and suspenseful--the book offers raw, unadulterated privileged information, with a dutiful if not intrusive amount of detail as though Ibn Fadlan was not just a spectator/writer/warrior, but who also had, in his employ, a stenographer. The R rated film feels PfuckingG compared to the abrupt revelations and licentious subject matter of the novel coupled with prolonged bouts of violence and bodily traumas.

Our protagonist, Ibn Fadlan, is a stranger in a stranger fucking land and while the glowworm proves to be human in nature and anticlimactic, they still make a fire spewing ancient evil antagonist fantastic, the thunderous combat as bombastic as the thunder caves and their scaling down the cliff measures prove rather fucking drastic!

Today you are gifted the treat of audibly checking out this edition **Thirteenth selection of Slick Page Flip** from my Chemohawk Library Rack: Hellbound Binding 13: Slick Page Flip: Bear Beware, They'll Wear Your Wares--Eaters of the 13th Warrior, Which of these Two Tales is Gorier? (Comparing the Swordsmanship Skills Twixt The Thirteenth Warrior Film and Eaters of the Dead Novel).

-Your freestyle logophile, bibliophile and cinephile: Falsetto Prophet

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, and let's unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick. The 13th Warrior is the flick, so very slick, hence my fstars pick!

When Slick Flick Pick is near, into the communal water bowl launch a snot rocket and file down your broadsword into an emasculated dagger you can tuck it away into your pocket and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's soothing semi-professional voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. I'm your worthwhile cinephile; you're my cinematic fanatic; together, we,excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this mother of the Wendol venom supply thick and bloodily slick, Fadlan just wants to know the godd*** plan flick, precariousboth the thunder cliff egress, cave ingress and turning an exposed village into a defendable bastion even the Wendol calvary can't dismiss pick.

Enter, with me, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… I offer you: Pick 68: Slick Flick Pick: Vikings and Fire-Breathing Things--Beware Those Who Wear Bear's Wares (Mist Forming, Fire-Worming, Village Storming); (The 13th Warrior, 1999).

Today, we discuss--the value in not judging a foreigner by their headdress, language, preference of sword shape or stated desire for clean water over warm cow urine, why laughing makes little sense when you are sloshing around the violent maelstrom of oceanic activity, how following a pack of bear imposters back to their communal cave makes about as much sense as listening to a bone throwing shawoman, when to throw mud at the red-headed juggernaut in the interest of finalizing a political scheme, how desired and scrumptious that bread loaf tastes that Ibn slung tossed to Edgtho, the Silent, and of all the Norsemen he could have been paired with to serve as his mentor, he really scored the fstars lottery with Herger, nicknamed the Joyous, for if you have to be paired up with a thrill seeking, bloodthirsty alpha male, the Joyous is a fairly innocuousmoniker.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: a petty criminal but a magnanimous podcaster: Falsetto Prophet

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

F.C.F.U. (Fact-Check Follow Up): According to some estimates, there are over 4,000 religions, faiths groups, and denominations that exist around the world today.

Researchers and academics generally categorize the world's religions into five major groups: Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism, and Judaism.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics; let's unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.Traffic is the flick, so very slick, hence my fstars pick!

When Slick Flick Pick is near, broach the concept of a walk across the parking lot instead of starting a car, but with the Obregon assassin coming for you’re a** you won't shuffle far, so abstain from eggs that taste like caca, be kind to theremaining DEA agents left to protect you, hide till your court date and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's soothing semi-professional voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. I'm your worthwhile cinephile; you're my cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this thrice storyline story slick, fentanyl laced and evidence erased flick, poignantly pungent and profoundly prescient pick.

Enter, with me, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… I offer you: Pick 67: Slick Flick Pick: Shining Stadium Lights on a Traitor--If Your Eggs Taste Like Shi*, They're a Hit (Who Has Jurisdiction over Addiction?); (Traffic, 2000).

Today, we discuss--the innate, astonishing and undeniable quality of Del Toro's acting prowess, the difference between a small corrupting cogue in a large corrupt Central American cesspool and a huge corrupt shiz stain on the underpants of America, how true love can be illustrated in many forms, between a pasty pale entitled bratty inductee into the honor roll and a dark drug dealing thug slum rapist who packs a phat blunt roll, the dangers of eating unauthorized eggs from a hotel bellhop, the hilarity in getting your toe shot off in a ball pit by an undercover cop, why the war on drugs makes as much sense, in market branding, as the war to end all wars, when creepy porcelain dolls morph to creepy high impact cocaine powdery porcelain dolls, when your last meal looms bright before you are forced to dig your own desert hole in the earth--un bistec is a fine choice indeed, where to meet when you are justifiably fearful of bugs, wires and mics, just don't forget your bathing suit, or, to be supremely safe, make them strip to their birthday suit.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: a petty criminal and asweaty podcasting fiend: Falsetto Prophet

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song,Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Greetings Cinematic Fanatics, in this particular case, you Hellbound short story in a larger collection Book Hounds!

The only thing more satisfying than a gorgeous and flawlessly executed standalone Slick Flick Pick is one that honors, if not exceeds, the splendor of its novel source material. Sometimes a screenplay, or film, has been novelized into a riveting read; conversely, an analogue bound book is oft condensed and converted, via a complex digital undertaking, to a cinematic adaptation. Some of the very slickest, sleekest, passionately picked flicks I've had the pleasure of enjoying originated with a Slick Page Flip I took pride in perusing.

The age old debate remains as heated and vitriolic as ever, the lingering, pesky, vexing question: is the slick flick pick better than the slick page flip? Sometimes this answer proves easier than slicing your finger's flesh on the corner of a page in a hellbound book; I offer the example of Winter's Bone, the flick is superior to the novel--but not vastly so-- while no doubt novel, source--however the Slick Page Flip of Sphere, by Michael Crichton, outshines the merit of its cinematic expression; coming from a cinephile, such as yours truly, that is a cocksure comment indeed.

While I will not perform this companion, contrast/comparison analysis between the primitive novel and polished flick on every Slick Flick Pick, I will grant you the gift of an either/or both discussion when I find the right pairing of bound paper and waxy film.

Enjoy you Hellbound Book Hounds and Cinematic Fanatics as I investigate these various bound collections and similar comparisons to their corresponding flick--remain on track with your deft, rapt attention in tact through an aurally pleasing perusal as you sate your curiosity with each passing slick flick/page flip pleasure on my Chemohawk rack.

As you earn each paper cut, you'll feel these fully fleshed out characters in your gut.

Whether binding open or cover shut, you've wed the novel, the flick serves merely as your mistress dime novel whose pages you, not precariously, but rather feverishly turn, until your finger tips bleed--slut.

Here, we unwind some novel binding for this is where final cut greets papercut!

The Slick Flick Pick we will be discussing: Pick 66: Slick Flick Pick: Gory Folklore--Doling Out Depravities and Cavities; (Sleuth with a Sweet Tooth, Sweets to Dead Meat); (Candyman, 1992) and while that flick was undeniably entertaining, frightening, enlightening and provocatively gory folklore--the book, short story, The Forbidden in Volume 5 from Clive Barker's Books of Blood  furnished so much dialogue from its bleeding paper cut fingers feverishly flipping pages of the source novel, I find this flick to be incredibly slick but how can you fstars up a story about grotesque graffiti in a forlorn, littered and torn, gritty, shitty city where the suburban legend comes alive, where looters, vagabonds and gory folklore shall never die but survive, and on these gloomy, squalid streets thrive.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: turning, with my hook, pages in a paperback book: Falsetto Prophet and victim of sweet tooth cavities and stabs to body cavities RED DEVIL

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, in your favorite well-worn, stale chair, rustle up some sweet treat confections, a little butterscotch with your stiff scotch, zoom in and zone out as we unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.

Candyman is the flick, so very slick, hence our fstars pick! When Slick Flick Pick is near, stare into a nearby reflective surface, utter his sweetly lethal name until you both feel and hear a buzz and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's and Blood Red Devil's voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. We are your worthwhile cinephiles; you're our cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this--shi* stained bathroom floor sweet slick, glory in a gory folklore story's flick, lethal last spasm from a reflective phantasm pick.

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of a gritty and decaying urban legend's reality… We offer you: Pick 66: Slick Flick Pick: Gory Folklore--Doling Out Depravities and Cavities; (Sleuth with a Sweet Tooth, Sweets to Dead Meat); (Candyman, 1992).

Today, we discuss--the futility of wandering the fstars around an unwelcoming city, innumerable dangers inherent when you're the wrong color at the wrong time within the wrong crime scene: this lean, pale, blonde, queen in jeans

-Your worthwhile cinephile: turning, with my hook, pages in a paperback book: Falsetto Prophet and victim of sweet tooth cavities and stabs to body cavities RED DEVIL

 P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, in your favorite well-worn, waxy, filmy stale chair, rustle up some popcorn, fresh as fstars, the antithesis to that stale, waxy, filmy a** chair, we just mentioned, zoom in and zone out as we unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.

House of Wax is the flick, so very slick, hence our fstars pick! When Slick Flick Pick is near, purchase a pricey ticket to the Chamber of Horrors, creep down the dark, dank, inexplicably foggy streets while images of a noose round' Mr. Burke's already broken  neck/suicide/suspicious suicide/homicide still haunts your most impressionable patrons in their urban legend reciting heads and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's and Red Devil's voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action...lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. We're your worthwhile cinephiles; you're our cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this Jarrod's knowledge, showmanship and humor, as is his candy wax coated evil master plan, is so very slick, he is also a grave robbing, law bobbing, similar to the tell-tale heart underneath the wax museum throbbing and melting at a low Fahrenheit flick, with his humanoid wax covered display viewing audience, who will be mortally molded into a new exhibit and who will, this disconcerting house of fright, survive and make it out the macabre museum alive pick.

Though the museum lighting and Vincent's descent into unabashed madness grow darker, you can still find levity in the showmanship of both Vincent in normal, non scarred human face form and his lively, sprightly ambidextrous and animated carnival museum barker.

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… We offer you: Pick 65: Slick Flick Pick: Waxidermist--The Melting Point of Murder (Afterlifelike); (Sculptorturer); (House of Wax, 1953) *Triple Price Feature*

Today, we discuss--the subtle yet salient differences between homicide and suicide, how talented a barker must be to talk up a good wax museum/chamber of horrors game while paddle balling in triplicate, why the normal Price face prior to the wax pyre fire is, in some ways, more skin-crawlingly creepy than the deformed face later, how the fortune cookie message rings true in that if you betray a business partner and launch him into a fiery grave, you will, not only, not be saved, but your suspicious and unexpected slaughter by suicide will, throughout the city, send a shock fstars wave, why Vincent is worth the steep price of admission into his chamber of horrors and sugar coated secrets, when fleeing a faux phantasmic madman, removing your shoes for stealth purposes might just add years to your life and where there is a hall, corridor, display case or basement full of wax, there might just also be a death godd*** tax, follow the bloody, waxy broken balls of plaster and wax tracks, not all incriminating evidence can be cleaned up with Ajax, this is a flick you need to watch and listen to intently, so clear out your ear wax and though it is too late to see this shit on IMAX, you can still enjoy the preamble, the rising action and the waxfucking climax!

-Your worthwhile cinephile: As you lie in asleep in bed, untaxed from terrors inside your head, nightmare of burning, bloody, melting wax will your mind tax: Falsetto Prophet and the glorious inspiration for any wily wax creation: Waxy Red Devil

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, in your favorite well-worn, stale chair, rustle up some popcorn, fresh as fstars, the antithesis to that stale a** chair, we just mentioned, zoom in and zone out as we unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.

House on Haunted Hill is the flick, so very slick, hence our fstars pick! When Slick Flick Pick is near, slip into a sultry evening gown with slits in the silk as long as Frederick's suit pants and your slinking around slippers, lay on the lavish master bed and pretend that you are dead while visons of your noose round' the neck suicide still haunts your most impressionable guest in her neurotic head and stick around, till, Falsetto Prophet's and Red Devil's voice, you hear.

Lights... camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. We're your worthwhile cinephiles; you're our cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this Frederick's humor, as his is evil master plan, is so very slick, he is also a fiend, fatherless and ferocious flick, with this party of 5, who will drown in acid and who will this disconcerting night survive and make it out the mansion alive pick.

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… We offer you: Pick 64: Slick Flick Pick: Puppeteer of Fear: Playing Chess with a Murderess (Admission Comes at a Tall Price); (Ghosts' Wrath and a Warm Acid Bath); (House on Haunted Hill, 1959) *Double Price Feature*.

Today, we discuss--that from welcome mat to acid vat Vincent can sniff a liar, cheater, betrayer and a rat, he is far too tall to grow fat, he was deliciously evil in The Bat, in seven quaint little coffins lie seven lethal gats, Nora is a basket case, a volatile bottle of champagne is pointed at Annabelle's face, but in this haunted mansion, rife with malevolent machinations, race one will win and the other will lose, to a bubbling brook of acid, their hair, eyes and face, from every nefarious nook and every spooky space, there waits a whore at the end of the corridor and, with aforementioned high caliber gat, Vincent shoots a vase, though he was almost dragged into the acid vat, another, lesser conspirator, took his place; Annabelle, this suspended skeleton would rather

-Your worthwhile cinephile: Your cork popping spirit in old palatial estate hopping villainous voice for impressionable ears: Falsetto Prophet and she fancies strong wine, but not the acid vat it is adjacent to: Red Annabelle Devil

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

Recline, Cinematic Fanatics, in your favorite well-worn, stale chair, rustle up some popcorn, fresh as fstars, the antithesis to that stale a** chair, we just mentioned, zoom in and zone out as we unwind the daily grind with a slick f****** flick pick.

The Bat is the flick, so very slick, hence our fstars pick!

Lights...camera...action... lends distraction and, with the right Slick Flick Pick, grants satisfaction. We're your worthwhile cinephiles; you're our cinematic fanatics; together, we, excitement unlock and run down the real world's unimaginative fstars clock while feasting our eyes on this finger claw to throat slashing blood slick, fortune favors the faceless interloper who roams the halls and hugs the walls of your estate flick, sinister situations await these socialites locked up tight, but things are far from right and just because the bat burglar is unseen at present does not mean you should turn on the stairwell chandelier light pick.

Enter, with us, you cinematic fanatics, into the realm of film's fantasy while we unwind the grind of reality… We offer you: Pick 63: Slick Flick Pick: Cat Burglar in the Belfry--Fraud, Clawed Assault, His Façade and a Vault (Drat the Winged Rat); (The Bat, 1959).

Today, we discuss--the deliciously duel nature of a genuinely warm, altruistic, benevolent and healer of life Dr. Wells and his alter ego: a murderous, duplicitous, opportunist taker of life Vincent Price, why the source of the Oaks wildfire is so satisfyingly explained and yet, the forest fire prior remains one of the least illuminating fires in the history of fire, light or wanting explanations, how the faceless mask, fedora and claw is reminiscent of both Freddy Krueger and Indiana Jones, thus spawning the anticipated hybrid film: Indiana Krueger or Freddy Jones, archeologist by day, whipping you and clawing you in your nightmares by night, why Ms. Cornelia's assistant slash confidant is in need of a serious pay bump, the kind reminder that nothing giving nor living waits behind old grandfather clocks and how I have heard bats referred to as winged rats, pests, monsters, demons, vampires, bloodsuckers and disease spreaders but I've never heard someone say, to said vermin: "All right now, take it easy, nobody's going to hurt you, quiet now, quiet" Vincent speaking to the bat as though it can reply in kind causes, in me, a jolt of laughter, a quiet riot.

-Your worthwhile cinephile: Your faceless, clawed brooder and intruder Falsetto Prophet and oh fiddlesticks, I left my home defense gun in the other room, curse you Ms. Corny, Ms. CORNELIA, Red Bat Devil

P.S. (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Soulicious, courtesy of the artist, Dyalla.

F.C.F.U. (Fact Check Follow Up) IT IS NOT HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL BUT HOUSE OF WAX THAT CRANE WILBER WAS INVOLVED IN