Cake once asked 'How do you afford your rock 'n' roll lifestyle?' Birthday cake leads into a KISS rock 'n' roll fantasy on today's M&B show. Also: Matty D throws shade at baby Jackson & hums the Thong Song while setting up a house cleaning appointment.

On today's episode of M&B's The Challenge: Rivals - Matt & Brendan devise strategies for breaking in to one another's homes. Also: the debut of a brand new segment called 'Sublime Crime' & the topic of self-respect as it relates to brand name condiments.

Matt & Brendan have always appreciated spooning. Perhaps they overlooked the utensil that the sleep formation is named after. No longer. Baby food sampling & a few minutes riding shotgun in their own car give M&B a whole new perspective.

Matt & Brendan are upset w/Harry Potter - actually, the actor who plays him, Daniel Radcliffe. Let's just say he ain't workin' wizardry w/the ladies, in M&B's opinion. Also: who wears short shorts? M&B wear short shorts. On Easter Sunday, with gusto.

Cowboy up w/Matt & Brendan as they visit frightening emergency rooms, learn the truth about stage names & try to nudge sexually confused/and/or/promiscuous women towards a path to happiness & love. Beautiful bodies grindin' up in the club. Drunk in love.

Matt & Brendan get out of a party limo & into their dreams during a wild nightlife experience w/somebody that they used to know. Matt blows the lid off the fondue industry/blatant scam. Brendan studies the effects of concentrated THC pills & malt powder.

Tequila happy hour can get a man in trouble, as Matt & Brendan find out this week. It can even leave you covered in a towel on the bathroom floor. Choose your preferred commercial vixen, finger a meatball & create an intricate web of lies with M&B.

Matt & Brendan awaken in a sweaty mess this week. It's understandable. They're tossing & turning due to drug dilemmas & Playstation 4 payment plans, while pining for midnight make out sessions. They shared a doom against which virtue was no defense.

Bleeding from the mouth? Spitting on windows or bar staff? Urinating from altitude? All fluid activities are covered in today's Irish recap. Taste 777 different breakfast cereal combos, beyond Lucky Charms. Can't get enough M&B. Got the crunch w/punch.

Not every member of the craft beer community exhibits communal courtesy, as Matt & Brendan discover this week. Skilled martial artists are seeking love, but don't sneak up on 'em. Drop off your ride, salt the rim, grab a fifth to go & walk a frozen path