Citizen Kane VS

The myth of the vampire permeates all creation. The drainers of blood, of energy, of life itself! Lurking in the mist, shifting form, ever elusive yet ever present. It's so nice that these films embraced the nature of the vampire by literally draining our will to live while watching them. It's the start of Halloween Month, and it's a tough week folks, strap in.

One is a film about a moose and squirrel, the other has a character who loves animals in an almost Lenny from Of Mice and Men fashion. Is it out of the question to think that Rocky would adopt Rocky and Bullwinkle someday? What I'm saying is these two films exist in the same cinematic universe. Fight me.

If you are wondering just what life was like for the Ancient Egyptians look no further than these two films. How are they so accurate? Some say Gerard Butler is actually a mummy from that era and gave them all the historical info the film makers needed. Did Geoffrey Rush NEED that gangly pony-tail? No. But Gerard says it was accurate to the time so it happened. Moral of the story: Don't commit high treason unless you want to be turned into an immortal.

Tall building crime is apparently such a phenomenon that a whole sub-genre of movies exist to represent it, and the gang dives into the best and worst of it all this week. Spraying machine gun fire? Check. Whacky accents? Check. A corrupt, inept LAPD that is equally as buffoonish and poorly run as they are in real life? Check check check.

Experience the episode that was almost our pilot, with a ratings system that we immediately changed. These movies are truly terrifying, and only sometimes did the directors intend them to be. Also Scientology sucks and is an abusive cult and should have its religious status revoked. Okay enjoyyyyyy! We'll have Diehard vs Skyscraper for you next week.

The Wild West and late 90s New York are almost indistinguishable. It's therefore completely evident why these two films would be compared against each other. The music, the style, the rampant gun crime, the awkward sex, it's all dissected in this week's episode!

The gang goes galactic and analyzes these two sequels of massively popular series. In space nobody can hear you scream, but in Jack's apartment we can insult each other without hesitation. The only universal constant we can agree on . . . Adrien Brody's nipples need more screen time.

The annual CKVS Shark Week episode is here! The gang explores Jack's phobia of open water in ways that will in no way be triggering in the future, Rainn Wilson open mouth laughs, and they take a beer break half way through and leave the mics going. They're a hot mess, but at least they're a hot mess with sharks!

The group visits the future in two vastly different interpretations of what's to come.  Sean is threatened with murder, Jack doesn't like breasts on walls, and Daniel thinks 80s Pizza Hut looks tasty. Will either of these films come out on top or will it be a sad fight to attain the belt of mediocrity?

The boys dive into a Ridley Scott classic and into Dwayne Johnson's massive biceps in an effort to piece together which of these films will truly stand the test of time. Trigger warning: Kevin Hart exists.