Classic Metal Show

What makes a guitarist a “douche”? Apparently, according to one Village Voice article, looking the part and putting on a big enough show can get you there.

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Neeley and Chris Akin take a hard look at Nate Jackson’s “The 10 Douchiest Guitarists Of All Time” and have a problem with what the list seems to value. Is image really a legitimate way to judge a guitarist, or should the conversation be about playing ability, technique and actual musical talent?

That leads to a pretty entertaining debate about what separates genuine guitar skill from stage theatrics — and whether being flashy, arrogant-looking or over-the-top should have anything to do with ranking somebody’s ability as a musician.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

The guys dive into one of those topics guaranteed to piss somebody off: the idea that constant attention from men can completely distort a woman’s perception of herself, her options, and her own accountability.

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From sexual market value and aging to social-media validation, “white knights,” orbiters, and the increasingly popular tendency to call accountability “abuse,” this conversation goes straight into the uncomfortable territory most people would rather avoid.

And yes, there’s a real-life speeding-ticket story that somehow makes the entire argument even crazier.

Agree? Think they’re full of shit? Either way, you’re probably going to have an opinion.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

What happens when a billionaire NFL owner decides to personally arrange a little extracurricular entertainment?

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Apparently, you get aliases, undercover cops, a rental car, a trailer park and one of the most ridiculous celebrity arrest stories we’ve heard in a long time.

The 49ers owner prostitution case has so many WTF details that it’s almost impossible to pick the dumbest one. And the deeper the guys get into it, the bigger the question becomes: How can a guy with billions of dollars make decisions this fucking stupid?

That story dominates the show, but it isn’t the only thing getting ripped apart tonight. There’s plenty more music, entertainment, celebrity bullshit and classic CMS chaos along the way.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

Vinnie Vincent was supposed to be making a comeback. So why does this whole thing look increasingly like a mess?

GET THE SELF TITLED VINNIE VINCENT INVASION RELEASE ON VINYL HERE: https://amzn.to/4r0fIfP

Neeley and Chris Akin dig into the latest controversy surrounding Vincent’s planned shows, including the move from Memphis to Nashville, the strange way the venue information is being presented, the departure of Robert Fleischman, and the increasingly bizarre ticket and meet-and-greet packages.

Fleischman says he walked away after receiving what he considered an insultingly low financial offer, along with concerns about organization, travel, hotel expenses and how he was being presented on the promotional material.

Then there’s the question of the so-called All-Star Band, the “special guests,” and ticket packages that can run hundreds of dollars — including a $199 meet-and-greet that doesn’t even include a concert ticket.

Is this a legitimate comeback struggling to get off the ground, or has the whole thing already gone off the rails?

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

Bombay Black was already known for wearing some ’80s metal DNA on its sleeve — but Eric Johnson says the band was ready to push somewhere heavier and more direct.

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In this interview, Johnson talks about Psycho Magnet, the band’s third studio album and fourth overall release, and how producer Beau Hill came into the picture after discovering Bombay Black through MySpace. Hill brought studio experience, mixing guidance and mic techniques to the project while still letting the band do most of the recording in its own studio.

Johnson also gets into the very different experience of playing for international audiences versus trying to build a crowd in the U.S. — and why the atmosphere at shows in places like the UK can be a completely different animal.

And yes, there are upcoming shows, including Dakota Rock Fest.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

After a long-ass absence, Jaime St. James is back for a conversation that covers everything from Black & Blue and Tommy Thayer to the brand-new Bombshell release.

GET THAYER ST. JAMES’ BOMBSHELL HERE: https://www.thayerstjames.com/

Jaime gets into why Thayer St. James is a completely separate project, what it was like making music with Tommy again, the long-running KISS connection, the future of Black & Blue, and why the band is perfectly happy not playing 200 shows a year.

There’s also talk about Monsters of Rock, the changing 80s rock nostalgia scene, playing a 90-minute set after an 18-hour flight, and what happens when a rock singer can’t even walk through the grocery store without getting recognized.

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And then there are the stories behind the new songs—including one that started with a lawn mower and another that took a very darkly comic turn.

Jaime St. James has been around the block a few times. He hasn’t run out of things to say.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

Blood White aren’t exactly trying to blend into the metal crowd—and that’s the point.

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The German band has built an entire world around From Hell, combining crushing modern metal with a bizarre white-and-red medical aesthetic, theatrical characters, and songs that aren’t afraid to get seriously dark. But behind the masks, there’s something a lot more interesting going on.

CHECK OUT BLOOD WHITE'S "GUNS & FEAR" HERE:

They talk about creating Blood White, why their visual identity came together so quickly, what happened when they hit the road with Lordi, the songs “Before I Die” and “Fear,” and what it would mean to eventually step onto a monster stage like Wacken.

And if you’re wondering whether this band has the songs to back up the image… yeah. There’s a reason this record caught our attention.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

Paul Stanley apparently had one very important job before “Cold Gin”: figuring out how to tell an arena full of people that the next song was about alcohol.

GET KISS’ ALIVE! (50TH ANNIVERSARY EDITION) ON VINYL HERE: https://amzn.to/4qWYjo4

This collection tracks KISS performing the song across the years, from the brutally simple 1973 introduction through increasingly elaborate versions in the ’70s, the makeup-free years, and the 1990s reunion era. The hosts have a hell of a time comparing how much changed — and how much absolutely did not.

From Largo to Tokyo, Detroit to Philadelphia, Chile to Madison Square Garden, how many different ways can one guy introduce the same damn song?

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

Kiss has Cold Gin back in the conversation — but is this really something worth getting excited about, or is there more to the story?

Neeley and Chris Akin dig into Kiss’ new Cold Gin and give it the kind of unfiltered treatment you expect from THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW.

And because apparently the war on the consumer never ends, the guys also get into Frito-Lay cutting the number of chips in the bag. Same bag. Fewer chips. Because why make the bag smaller when you can just make everybody feel cheated?

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Two very different stories, but both give Neeley and Chris plenty to talk about.

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.

We’re back after a week off, and apparently we managed to save up enough bullshit to fill an entire show.

This one covers everything from a brutal Florida road trip and one of the strangest airport experiences imaginable to a pretty damn big shout-out from Jim Florentine. And somehow, we also ended up changing our minds about the new Asia album.

GET ASIA’S NEW RELEASE INDIGO ON VINYL HERE! https://amzn.to/3UM1BhU

There’s plenty of real-life chaos in this episode, too. We get into a difficult true-crime interview, some major personal changes, and the realization that getting older apparently comes with a much lower tolerance for bullshit.

Then we get into Asia’s new singer. At first, the record wasn’t exactly winning us over. But after hearing the entire album and actually talking with the guy responsible for the vocals, something changed. The opinion we had going in didn’t exactly survive the conversation.

We also get into Lynch Mob, Don Dokken, George Lynch, the CMS audience, Locals, and a whole lot of the inappropriate nonsense you’ve come to expect.

So what changed our minds about Asia? And what still has us pissed off?

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All comments are merely the opinions of the people speaking them, are for comical performance, and are in no way stated as factual.