Clocking the Nation

Our HIGHLY anticipated part 2 of mess is here! We expose the depth of America's love for plastic and how it has infiltrated all of our ussies. Instead of fixing our PFAS problem, the Supreme Court is spending its time finding new ways to bust on the homeless. Techies are further lowering our vibrations by releasing mess into the world and draining it of any meaning. Bill Maher is back with probably his fugliest take yet, and we had to rip em a new hair system. Thankfully, Camilla Cabello is dropping gems and keeping the girls fed with her Y2K weave. Enjoy loves, another new ep coming soon.

We've got a treat for the guys, the first of a two-part CTN special. In this episode, we cover the state of udder guzzlers in our nation and give you a Duolingo lesson on our mess. There's also no forgetting Kevin Leonardo, who is turning right-wing for views. We clock his Jeffree Star era. Then we talk about the Swiftie brain rot epidemic busting the planet. Elon Musk flopping the house as cybertrucks are recalled and shareholders question his house. People are so down bad and indoors that they're hentai-ifying Marc Zuckerberg with AI thirst traps. We also clock the O-face addiction taking over Hollywood.

Spring is here with new tea to clawk. Don Lemon and Elon Muss had the most nothing for views interview for the premier of the lemon show. It went so poorly, Miss Musk had Lemon's contract with X terminated. Doing laundry in one of these dusty cities is a new ring of demonic terror. Fighting over machines and letting your molds get moldy, it's a recipe for cottage cheese. We also clock how musty men are spreading their mildew on every dating app, and how the hatfishing epidemic has even spread to the highest levels of the British monarchy. And the biggest story of the week, Alex Jones lets us all know via Canva graphic that he's coming to eat our leftist ussies.

The timeline is getting dustier by the week goyas. AI has only become more anything4views. We discuss how it could lead to global annihilation in the near future if we let tech bros continue to have their way with the world. Blue MAGA is having a meltdown over anyone who calls out Joe Biden's advanced age, including Jon Stewart, who returned to the Daily Show furious about the rematch of the oldest candidates in history. Donald Dump unveils a pair of tacky red bottoms after getting fisted with a $450 million bill from a Manhattan judge. We dive into the Ned's Declassified Podcast, where the hosts talk about giving brain on set. And lastly, Jason Nash of the David Dobrik Vlog Squad has been getting flamed for begging for coins on TikTok battles.

Lady Liberty is looking pretty ran through these days. We're back with a new episode to clock the crusty state of affairs in this country. Justin Timberlake is trying to reboot his dying career to no avail. John Fetterman steps out on the town looking musty amidst his failing marriage and pandering to right-wing views. Speaking of which, we've got a bone to pick with Blue MAGA. Candace Owens clutches her pearls to Ice Spice's short song, and Nicki Minaj gets a case of brainworms and eats Ben Shapiro house. At the end of the day, it looks like everyone is defending some hairy gray ussy.

Hey goyalz, happy 2024 to every one of y'alls. It's officially one year of CTN, and we're celebrating with a thicc clocking to kick off election season. The Epstein List dropped, and we took a look. We bag on some of the hoes but dig deeper into Miss Alan Dershowitz, former Epstein and Trump lawyer. We have to say it: January 6th was a major flop this year in particular. Hear our theory on why it was so nothing for views despite Democrats' desperate attempts to milk it for every like, click, and share. And did you know Joe Biden has a formidable challenger? The founder of the Young Turks is trying to give his dusty azz a run for his money.

Your girls are back with a new episode taking on the busted, corrupt state of affairs in this country. We cover George Santos being anything for a dollar, click, or share on Cameo. He was hired to make a video by none other than Senator Dusty himself, John Fetterman, to bash an X account with no views. Kyle Busted the House released a book that's tanking hard on the Kindle charts, and we did a deep dive investigation into Fabio and discovered that he's become busted for right-wing views. All of this, and some personal drama, on a jam-packed episode.

Our 20th episode is here!!! Ah! In this one, we revisit Ana Navarro's busted house as she makes headlines again for thirsting after Maluma. Then, we take a deep dive into Doja Cat's boyfriend J. Cyrus, who posts the most dry, crumbly cookie reviews ever made on Instagram. They're nothing for friggin viewsss. And in this one, we get a bit more personal and share our journeys with acne and body image.

Conservative host of The Nothing for View, Ana Navarro, stirred up drama when she said that Jada Pinkett Smith is holding Will Smith emotionally prisoner. But how can Jada hold him hostage when she doesn't even know who he is? And if you haven't heard of Lex Fridman, you need to get up to speed. His popular show, which we call the Lex Fridman Experience, is known for having some of the most busted guests around, and your CTN hosts couldn't help but clock. Speaking of busted people getting views, school shooters are now becoming influencers on TikTok. And one woman on TikTok also went viral after locking herself in her date's car and recording him for taking her to The Cheesecake Factory.

Enjoy a new episode of our end-of-summer recording sesh, with new glitz and glam production. In part dos, we dig into the male hysteria that's gripping the planet. Starfield, a space RPG by Bethesda Studios, is triggering thumb-looking men because it offers pronouns in character select. In particular, some guy in the UK named Heelsvsbabyface has a complete meltdown over it, so we you already know we had to clock. Cuckservatives are triggered at Canada's alcohol recommendations of two drinks a week and are taking aim at Biden's "Alcohol Czar" over the potential of a similar unenforceable recommendation in the US. Then, we clock Billy anything-for-a-view Porter, who simultaneously fumbled his bag and view counter by beefing with Anna Wintour.