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Episode 158 What is in your control. What is not in your control. 

It’s very common for us to think that if we do certain things, we can control the way someone else thinks about us. And we think that if we do certain things, we can control their reaction to us. 

Both of these things are not true. We don’t control anyone else’s thoughts, and regardless of what we do, we don’t control how anyone else treats us. 

This episode will outline what is not in your control, what is in your control, and what is in your influence. Listen until the end for a journaling question that will help give you insight into what you are thinking is in your control that actually isn’t. 

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Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

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Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 157 - Giving Your Full Focus and Attention to Create Connection

Most people do not know how to give someone their full focus and attention. But, as David Augsburger says, “Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference."

Our fast-paced, instant gratification culture is shortening our attention spans and making it very difficult for us to know how to truly pay attention to someone or something long enough to create connections that are meaningful. 

If you’re wanting to start giving your family more of your focus and attention, listen to this podcast for where to begin. 

 

If you need help working on your focus and attention, or any other skill you’re learning about in this podcast, let’s connect. I’ll be releasing a new program to help parents heal the connections in their families later this year and those on my email list will be the first ones to know all the details. I send out emails each week that will help you get a new perspective on old problems. 

Sign up for my email here

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 156 – How to Take a Time Out That Really Works

When you get emotionally flooded, that is a signal you need a time out!

This week’s episode outlines Terry Real’s 10 New Rules of Time Out

1.       The time out is a circuit breaker

2.       Take your time out from the “I” position.

3.       Take distance responsibly.

4.       Use the phrase “time out” or gesture the T signal with your hands. 

5.       Don’t let yourself get stopped.

6.       Use check-ins at prescribed intervals.

7.       Remember the goal. 

8.       Return in good faith. 

9.       Have a 24-hour moratorium on the original topic.

10.   Know when, where, and how to get help. 

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 155 - Respond to Your Family Members Intentionally, Don’t React from Automatic Programming

Everyone is capable of learning to control their reactions to other people and situations. No one needs to take on the identity of a person who can’t control themselves. Learning to manage your own responses to the world is a skill you can learn just like any other skill. It takes consistent effort over time. Learning to manage your own responses to others is your responsibility, not anyone else’s. 

 

Get Bite-sized help in your inbox each week:

Click here to subscribe to Healing Connections - weekly emails from family relationship coach, Tina Gosney

 

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 154 – The One Decision That Will Change Everything

 

Big issues and problems can feel overwhelming and cause us to act with a lot of fear. Making decisions and acting from a feeling of overwhelm rarely leads to anything productive. So do something else instead. When you slow down and act intentionally, you might just see that there is one action, one decision that will affect everything else in the way you’re hoping it will go. What is that one decision for you? What is that one action that will affect everything else? Listen to this episode for a process to begin figuring that out. 

 

Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 153 - The Benefits of Going Beyond a Surface Level Relationship

Close relationships are what make us happy – now and in the future. But they require effort and intention over time – sometimes over a long period of time. Listen to this episode to find out why you want to put in that time and effort, and a few things to focus on to get started. 

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If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 152 – Be an Agent in Your Family

 

Family relationships run on systems, and each family has its own system. One system many families use is to blame each other for how we act and react, and not take ownership of our own choices. My husband and I were stuck in this blame/blame system for years. And then we decided we wanted something more and we wanted to clean up our relationship so that we could move forward into a new type of system.  When one person changes their input into the system, the entire system is forced into change. 

When you take responsibility for yourself, you find more freedom. Being an agent in your own life is a simple concept, but not an easy one. Listen to this episode to see how you can begin to take responsibility for yourself and become an agent in your family. 

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Get some help from Tina

If you are feeling stuck, not sure how what you’re hearing on this podcast can work in your life and aren’t quite sure how to create that future vision for yourself, let’s talk. I offer a handful of free calls each month and they are snatched up quickly. Set up your free call today so you can feel better about what the future holds for you. 

CLICK HERE TO SET UP YOUR FREE CALL

 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 151 - Your Relationships are Your Response-ability

If you’re like most people, when you’re struggling in a relationship, you fall into either blaming another person for how they are making you feel, or you’re trying to get them to be different so you can feel better. Maybe you’re doing both!

What if you didn’t have to do either, and instead of focusing on the other person, you’re focusing on yourself and your own responsibility for the thoughts you’re having and the emotions you’re experiencing. This is a radical idea! But this is also where you get your freedom. 

You are here to be an agent in your own life, not a victim of your circumstances. You have the ability to choose to be reactive by default, or to respond intentionally. Once you take radical responsibility for yourself, you’ll see your relationships begin to change without doing anything else. 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 150 Questions from Listeners about Establishing Healthy Boundaries

The questions asked in this episode were some of the questions asked in the Boundary Boot Camp held July 2024. 

Questions asked in this episode:

1.      I say YES to things I don’t want to do, and I don’t really have time for. I feel so guilty saying NO, that I usually just say YES. Is this a boundary issue? What’s going on here?

2.      I’m really nervous about boundaries. I’m having such a hard time feeling really connected in my family right now. Will these boundaries make me even more disconnected? Isn’t that the opposite of what I want?

3.      My daughter is 24 and lives on her own, but she can’t keep a job longer than a few months. She either gets fired or she quits, and then she doesn’t have money to pay for rent, her car, or even food. So, she asks my husband and me for money. I’m tired of this pattern. It seems like we are supporting her for being immature. This pattern has gone on for a couple of years now, and I don’t see it changing unless we do something. Do we not give her money? I don’t want her to starve or be homeless, but we can’t keep this going long-term.  

4.      This isn’t technically a “family problem” but maybe you can help me. There’s a woman I go to church with who hates me. I have hardly ever even had a conversation with her, but right from the very beginning of us going to the same church, it was like she just decided to hate me. She tells other people how terrible I am. (I know because I’ve heard some of the things she’s said). I don’t know how to get her to stop hating me because I don’t even know what I did to make her hate me in the first place. I’m lost here. Do you have any advice how to handle this situation?

 

It’s not too late to get access to Boundary Boot Camp! Catch the replay and work through this class on your own time. Learn how to establish a Protective Boundary and a Containing Boundary so that you can begin repairing your family relationships. 

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT BOUNDARY BOOT CAMP

 

Do you have a question you want me to answer on the podcast? Get your question answered on the next Ask Me Anything episode coming soon!

CLICK HERE TO ASK A QUESTION 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.

Send us a text

Episode 149 – The One Virtue You Can Cultivate That Will Change the Foundation of Your Relationships

When you interact with your family or in your marriage, do you operate under the assumption that the other person is doing the best they know how to do? The assumption that they love you and don’t mean you harm? What if you did? What would be different?

This re-release addresses the virtue of Generosity of Spirit – assuming the best in yourself and others. Working on cultivating the virtue of Generosity has made a huge difference in how I think about myself and others, and everything is created first in thought before it is created in the world. 

Tina Gosney is the Family Conflict Coach. She works with parents who have families in conflict to help them become the grounded, confident leaders their family needs.
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Connect with us:

Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/tinagosneycoaching/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tinagosneycoaching

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Tina is certified in family relationships and a trauma informed coach.
Visit tinagosney.com for more information on coaching services.