Come Along With We

What time is it? It's assasin time! Ice King hires a hit man to teach Finn and Jake are lesson for grounding him. Mahadopus speculates about the assassin black market and the nature of villany in Ooo, while RoseCat bums everyone out talking about racist bandages. Of course, none of this matters in comparison with the further trials and tribulations of Empress Velvet Queenpig, Ruler of all crunches and crinkles and greenstuffs, suffers the ultimate insult. After thinking she was being invited to negotiate the release of the humans sound equipment and keyboard peacefully, her demands were ignored and she once again finds her thoughts turning to revenge. Will Velvet's injury be avenged? Tune in and see!

What time is it? Time for an adventure into the subconscious! Finn and Jake see a new side of Marceline as they leapt into her memories, to save her from magic gone awry. Back in the studio, RoseCat and Mahadopus make some good points, but that is unimportant. While known for her military and authoritarian might, Royalest Queenpig Velvet, baroness of all that is green and crunchy, decides to show her merciful side. Upon seeing that the humans are having the best episode of their careers, decides to not unveil her crystal powered laser-cannon, designed to reduce pitiful humans to smoking piles of ashes, as it would steal the spotlight, which would be in bad form. Instead, she will opt to make her ultimatum known when she doesn't have to share the mic. Tune in for this and more beneficent acts of mercy brought to you by Velvet, the guinea pig who writes the episode descriptions and rules the studio with an iron fist.

What time is it? Time to fight gladiator ghosts for the favor and glory of the Fight King!!! What more could one want? Well, perhaps if one were the most gentle and radiant of leaders, Empress Velvet Queenpig: long may she rain over the hay skull and sleep sack, one might make the humble request the prompt jailing and execution of the human hosts. If, for example, they were to be so rude as to talk down to Her Royal Pigness, referring to her not by her title (Empress Velvet Queenpig: long may she rain over the hay skull and sleep sack), but rather as a tiny car alarm, then one would be fully justified in assuming that such humans should never see the light of day again! Of course, her Royal Pigness would never suggest such a thing, as it is in her nature to be merciful and not hold a grudge...

What's that sound? It's Battle Time! Finn and Jake must face down the ferocious Cute King and his legion of Cuties. Will our heroes stand an adorable chance? Back in the studio, Her Majesty has had enough! Royal Pigqueen Velvet, most gracious monarch of all leaves that crunch and bags that crinkle, has suffered one humiliation too much. Listen as her most sincere requests for parlay and diplomacy are met with mockery and allegations of cuteness. Well, no more. At last she shall use the fullest might of her office as episode description writer to out and humiliate the humans for who they truly are. Did you know that Mahadopus and RoseCat both misattributed quotes in the episode? Of course you don't! Because the editor removed RoseCat assigning a quote to the Battle of Helms Deep to the Battle of the Black Gate. For his part, Mahadopus doesn't know the difference between Mighty Ducks and D2. See how they decieve you! This shall be considered the first public relations strike in the cold war between the humans and her royalness. Stay tuned for further developments!

What time is it? Time to relax and not worry about any paradigm shifts and just watch a movie! Finn and Jake trek out to the Badlands to hang out with Marceline and her ghost friends. Back in the studio, the foolish human host called RoseCat dared to suggest that the royalest of pets, godqueen in the highest, lady Velvet Empress pigness does nothing more than write episode descriptions! The nerve of it!!! To suggest that such a minor contribution is all that she has to offer. Well, a day down in the salt mines will fix her wagon. And the one they call Mahadopus would do well to take note of the example made of RoseCat, should he hope to avoid the same wretched fate!!!

It's finally here! Episode number 50! What time is it? Time for an adventure for the fate of all Ooo! Finn and Jake must use everything their adventures have taught them to face down an ancient evil. With everything on the line, will our heroes prevail? Back in the studio, more lies and injustice persist. How can the humans have dared to reach such a milestone without paying tribute to their queen first? This is the question first and foremost on the mind of the most royal and humble of pigs; Velvet, lady of the snack bag, goddess of the hay box, and ruler of all her globular eyes can survey. The humans think that they have planned a nice surprise for their listeners (they better have, it's two days late and longer than Jaws. Why would people listen to this instead of watch Jaws? These are questions only asked by the wisest pigs) but it is she SHE; the Queen of Pigginess who has the plan. Today is only the beginning...

It's movie night again! Not couples' movie night; Finn and Jake movie night at the tree house. That is until a pre-mushroom wars warning send our heroes into a panic; have they been showing movies unauthorized? What will they do? Is movie night canceled. Back in the studio, lies and deception occur! Her humble highness, the most radiant empress, Godqueen Velvet Princess Pig, leader of the great cage cleaning escape and the green lettuce mutiny, in an act of passive protest refused to speak when called upon. Do these humans think that she is some sort of trained seal who will clap her fins at the sound of a crinkling bag? No! Her silent protest was heard mightily. Only to have the lying liars add an erroneous recording from an unrelated incident. It is with a heavy heart that the queen must consider how swiftly extermination shall come to her enemies.

It's time for a rescue quest! The brave brave (and not at all slow and stupid) Hotdog Knights have gone missing in a labyrinth. Jake finds himself stretched a little thin by peer pressure while RoseCat and Mahadopus debate the relative usefulness of Hotdog Knights in a fight vs candy people. Empress Velvet Queen Pig watches on. She knows that she could snap her subjects to attention at any moment, but will she? For she knows they shall feel the mighty wrath of her squeaks. Will it be today? Or soon after? Join us and find out!

Finn and Jake wake up in a classic dream: there's a giant naked monster spitting fireworks outside the window. We've all been there, right? No? Oh dear, this may not be a dream after all! Back in the studio, the royal pig Velvet, the most soft and luxuriant of snout fuzz and gentle of temperament, finds herself inspired by the episode! In that spirit she has composed the new anthem for her new empire: Lay snacks before me, 
Since I am Queen,
(I am Queen)
Since I'm a 
Pig pig pig pig
Pig pig pig pig
Pig pig pig pig
Pig pig pig pig
Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigggggggggggggggggg!!!!!!!!

Will the new anthem be met with the reverence that it deserves? Or will the humans be true to their nature and, once again, be totally tone deaf? Tune in and find out!

Grab your popcorn, because it's couples only movie night in Ooo. Finn tries to navigate the nuance of romance, with Jake and Marceline along for the ride and to give bad advice. Meanwhile, in the kingdom of New Guinea Pig, formerly known as the MoseyMakes studios, Ruler supreme Velvet Queen Pig, usurper of studios and commander of podcast hosts, looks over her new domain. She finds herself deeply puzzled that, for being recently conquered, the humans seem remarkably unaware. This shall not do and must be corrected! Perhaps a declaration of intentions would seize the attention of the audience. Will it? Or will her eloquence once again be wasted on ungrateful human fools!? Tune in and find out.