I dusted off my scriptures and let them fall open on a whim of 1% hope and 99% cynicism. My eyes were drawn to 14 words - no more no less - and they were "Ye have not applied your hearts to understanding; therefore, ye have not been wise." Which stunned me and struck me very powerfully. I pondered on that and let that work itself through me. That softened me and opened the door to saying, OK I will go to my family's ward.

"I had to put all of my doubts and all of my fears and all of my anxiety and frustrations on a sacrificial table, and say these stay here and I want the blessings more. So that's what I did, and I met with the bishop and the stake president. That Thursday I went to the temple and the following week the temples were shut down. It was so significant to me how many steps had to be completed and in place in order for my heart to be ready to do that. It was a huge step and something that I never thought I would do...When things were dark and it was hard, to have those extra covenants and blessings were really important to me. There was no accident that it happened the way that it did."

"When the dust settles the only question that really arises to the forefront of my mind is: Does the restoration make God present to me? Do I see God's hand in evidence in the good that the church does, in the good that the gospel accomplishes in the lives of individuals and the access that it gives me to the gifts of the spirit and to the beauties and the truths of eternity? Well, then all the rest is just secondary to that."

"At some point in the program God started to work in my life in a way that I recognized. I was reading through the big book and I came to section 11 that talks about when we retire at night we reflect upon our day and when we wake up in the morning we think about the day ahead. Where have we been dishonest and selfish and where can we be of service to others? As we pause throughout the day when we feel doubtful we seek guidance. I started physically, mentally, and with my heart doing these things and every morning I would get on my knees and I would pray. I would read a passage and think about those things. I thought where can I be of service to others and ask God to help me be of service to others today and to be open to those suggestions. If someone was doing something where I could help I would help, if someone wanted someone to volunteer for something I would volunteer for it. The biggest thing I asked Him for, was to help me do the things I don't want to do today and He did."

"The thought that I was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole was a big fat lie. Our identity is children of God, and of course we are all misfits, every single one of us is, we all need Christ! No one is the same, there is no perfect member out there, it doesn't exist, it is just a narrative that we tell ourselves and becomes an excuse, it became an excuse for me. We all belong with Christ. Another thing there is a difference between guilt and shame. Guilt can be good as it encourages healthy changes in our lives. Shame is a tool used by the adversary, shame deters us and is more like an external thing, it's about what others think of us. We can shame ourselves but it usually has to do with some sort of external criteria. While guilt is like an internal, motivating process that helps us learn and grow, and that is why we are here! We aren't here for it to be easy. My last takeaway is that Christ is always there waiting for us. Always. He never gives up on us, in the dark times and the low times, especially, He is there. He is just waiting for us to turn our face towards Him. I experienced that and can testify of the deep and incredible love that He has for us, we can always turn back to Him and he can save us. His love is infinite, we don't even have the capacity to understand it right now."

"At one point I was at the lowest of the low and I went to church. During church I just decided "OK I am going to have a reset, I am going to fight my way back." So right there I started cleaning up my social media, putting limits on my phone and getting my calendar updated, those types of things. Then after church my friend invited me to stake choir and I decided to give it a chance. We sat down and sang the song "Be Still My Soul" and that was the second time in my life I felt that burning in the bosom, just straight out of the scriptures. An undeniable feeling, I just remembered it again with the peace and the hope and the optimism, the passion. All of those emotions just came flooding, in what I believe to be the fruits of the spirit."

"When I got into prison the first thing I asked my family was to send me a triple combination. I had never read the Book of Mormon cover to cover. Prior to that it was piece by piece. It is hard to put into words the amount of darkness you feel while in prison that is surrounding you. You are always reminded of how horrible your decisions are, you are beaten down left and right. I religiously started reading the Book of Mormon everyday, really studying it and trying to understand it and grow my own testimony. I started to notice it brought me so much comfort no matter what was going on around me. My scriptures became a guide and a light to me in such a dark place."

"People ask me how I do this - well, the church is true, and Joseph Smith was a prophet. I have been out in the world and I've looked at so many different things, I have explored a very secular world and there is nothing and nowhere that brings me the kind of joy that I get from going to church."

"I just felt an overwhelming rush, a feeling of love that I had never in my whole life felt. It was a lot, it was a lot of feelings and I just collapsed to the floor, I just felt all the weight of everything that had been going on had been lifted and I felt wrapped up in love. I knew that God was telling me that I was doing the right thing and that I needed to take President Nelson seriously and I needed to be listening to his teachings. It is one of those things I still cling to on my bad days because the only way to describe that experience was a complete feeling of God's love."

"We did this guided imagery meditation on The Savior my second day on the ranch - and man - I still get the chills and emotional whenever I talk about it. Because as much as I wanted to be mad at God and hold on to that resentment, I just started sobbing, and for me to cry - it's hard for me to get to an emotional place. But when she started that amazing imagery of The Savior, and taking my wounded heart and replacing it with His heart, that is just full of love and light - I was sobbing. And during that, I had this overwhelming feeling and what I heard with my heart was the message that 'I am still here and I have always been here, and if you meet me halfway in this thing - I got you.'"

Bryan shares his story of coming back after addiction, doubts, tough questions, and suicidal thoughts.