Comeback Stories

David Meltzer shares some of the most powerful lessons he’s learned in the process of losing over $100 million dollars and nearly losing his life and family, and then rebuilding his life from scratch. Learn about David’s philosophy on faith and money, and why gratitude and humility are the keys to accelerating the process of creating wealth and happiness in your life.

• David grew up in the world of “not enough”. He had no shortage of love and happiness, but his family certainly struggled with money. This shaped him as he got older because, in his mind, the only missing piece to his life was money. That gave him a drive to achieve everything he could, but it also gave him a major chip on his shoulder.
• The story of not having enough had positives and negatives. In a healthy way, it taught David to keep his options open and be creative when figuring out how to solve problems in his life. During the pandemic, the ability to see opportunities where other people can’t has been a superpower.
• The problem with growing up with not enough is that you are always asking for crumbs, because you don’t know any better. The size of the world you live in is so small when you’re poor, and you focus on what you don’t have rather than realizing how limitless life really is.
• Many people that achieve big results in their life still feel unhappy because they are constantly chasing the things they don’t have. You need to find a way to be enough for yourself.
• When David lost everything, he was almost relieved. He had this extraordinary gift to sell but he never really felt like he earned it. He bought things he didn’t need to impress people he didn’t like. Losing everything allowed David to reassess his approach and appreciate what he has.
• When you appreciate what you have, you add value to it and expand it. When you give it away, you now have a bigger space to receive even more. Appreciating what you have must be part of the process.
• Receiving starts with our belief system. The moment that David shifted his paradigm and realized that he was already happy and healthy, he just needed to identify how he was getting his own way.
• Where are you putting all your energy? Put your emotion and energy into the relationships that are feeding you instead of the people bleeding you.
• David was abused as a nine year old. Pain and trauma are going to happen to everyone, it’s part of living, but it’s what we do with the pain that’s important. Pain was trained into David to be a propeller.
• Faith was David’s ultimate GPS because he had faith that anything that happened in his life was an opportunity to grow, learn, and accelerate instead of a punishment.
• Everyone has a different definition of meaning and happiness that’s unique to them. The way that you reconcile that with your successes will determine how much you can give and how great an impact you can have.
• David’s mom and two grandfathers were the biggest influences in his early life. One lesson he learned along the way though was that just because someone loves, that doesn’t mean they give good advice.
• Two years before David lost everything was the greatest moment of adversity. He almost lost both his life and family after years of going down the wrong path in life. On the edge of taking his own life, David realized that he didn’t hate his father, or his best friend, or his wife, he hated himself. 
• Of everything that David teaches, the two things that have had the most impact are gratitude and to ask for help. The same lessons he learned before he was 3 years old.
• If you say thank you before you go to bed for the next 30 days it will change your life.
• No one knows everything, but we often pretend we do. There are only two types of people in the world: people who don’t know and ask for help, and arrogant people that pretend they know and cause separation and offense and pain. Come from a place of humility in everything you do.
• David’s early story was that he wanted everyone to love him, but that’s changed to simply loving himself. When you try to get people to love you it turns people off.
• Gratitude changes the way that we see the world and turns what we have into enough.
• People need to know their what, who they can help and who can help them, how to get it done through the lens of gratitude, and then apply the why within. The more you get done, the more you will be profitable, passionate, and personable in what you do.
• David is always grateful for his health. He spends an hour everyday on his health because when you’re healthy you get as many wishes as you want. When you’re unhealthy, you have only one.
• Happiness is the greatest virus. All you need to do is witness giving and happiness is released.
• If David were to give his younger self advice, it would be the same thing that’s currently on his nightstand: ask for help. Asking for help is the fastest way to accomplish something, but it also allows people to feel important and special. Be ignorant and humble, and ask for help.
• The key to life is to be interested, curious, and creative. Ask people open-ended questions and be more interested than interesting. When combined, it accelerates the process of creation.
• Meditation is the practice of being quiet so that you can acquire a higher vibration. It’s the one practice that has changed David’s life more than anything else.
• David’s comeback story shoutout goes to his mom and wife.

Mentioned in this Episode:

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On this week's episode of "Monday Motivation Raw," Donny taps into the 1st Agreement from Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements.” He shares some powerful lessons and insights on why it's so important to be impeccable with your word, and how this one agreement will totally transform your life.

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Ryan Clark shares the lessons he learned from his near death experience and how facing death allowed him to realize how precious life really is. Ryan also tells the story of losing one of his oldest friends to suicide in college, and how that changed his perspective on life and why you shouldn’t wait to be a better friend and person to those people in your life, because they aren’t always going to be there.

• Ryan didn’t grow up rich but he doesn’t have a story of childhood adversity that many people do. Even at an extremely young age Ryan wanted to play football, to the point of preferring to watch a game in 8th grade instead of kissing his then girlfriend.
• Ryan’s earliest memory of pain involved one of his oldest childhood friends. His friend took his own life and it was Ryan’s first time dealing with the death of someone close to him.
• Up until that point, Ryan considered himself tough. At his friend’s funeral, he recalls how angry his sister was and how confused he felt. It was his first true memory of pain.
• Up until that point, you think you have an infinite amount of time with the people that are close to you. Thinking back now, Ryan wonders if the questions his friend was asking him were actually an attempt to get Ryan to ask him the same questions. To start a conversation that could help.
• The emotion he dealt with most was regret and being upset at himself. It was the first time Ryan started to ask what kind of friend he is. This experience of pain allowed Ryan the introspection so he didn’t have to relive the same relationship with his son.
• The person who mentored Ryan the most was his oldest first cousin, Gary Lewis. He would talk to him constantly about life and showed him that football is not just about the glamorous lifestyle, it’s about the discipline and focus you need to get the things you want from life.
• He taught Ryan that even his time is valuable. Gary was the first man other than his father that had a huge impact on who he became.
• The adversities that Ryan has dealt with ended up being the greatest thing for him. He recalls a day where he felt like he was dying. After losing 20 lbs over a couple of weeks Ryan began shaking uncontrollably and truly believed he was going to die. He began praying for his wife and his family, and upon accepting his fate his shaking stopped.
• The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him for weeks until he called a doctor in Pittsburg who ran a test. Two hours later Ryan was in the hospital and went through five procedures over the course of the weekend.
• Ryan had a Sickle Cell Crisis and by the time he got to the hospital, his spleen was four times larger than normal.
• One of the key lessons Ryan learned from his experience is that not everyone is built the same. The truth about concussions in the NFL was coming out around this time and it gave Ryan the perspective to understand the anxiety and depression that other player’s were experiencing.
• All these experiences brought lessons in the loss for Ryan. Death can teach us how to live.
• Everybody’s comeback story is unique to them and it’s not so much about the story as what you take from it. It’s important to value the stories of other people instead of trying to compete with each other.
• When telling his story, Darren tries to relay the message that you don’t have to be perfect to impact the lives of other people in a positive way.
• The story doesn’t stop when you overcome a trial. Everyday you have to wake up and defeat the obstacles in front of you. Even with millions of dollars, you have to overcome your bad habits, some of which get amplified by having money.
• We all want our story to be bigger.
• Ryan is grateful to simply be alive. He’s also grateful to God for keeping his family safe, especially his mom. He’s even grateful for the trials he’s gone through, as a football player and off the field, and having to grow up once his football career was done.
• Losing his first passion led to Ryan having to find a new one. Now learning about the world and how he can help has become his new passion.
• For someone who’s stuck, the first thing to realize is you shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s never too late to start, but don’t start too late. It doesn’t matter what age you are, you can start feeling and being better right now, but don’t put it off.
• Don’t wait to feel better. Take action now, and you will feel better. You can’t control how people see and value you and you can’t control how you see and value yourself, just start.
• Ryan’s comeback story shoutout goes to people who are still in their story and actively working to be better right now.

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For this week's Monday Motivation, Darren reflects on the power of self-acknowledgment.

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Baron Baptiste, the founder of Baptiste Power Yoga, talks about some of the major realizations and key lessons he’s learned in his life and why the hardships we encounter are things that allow us to choose how they shape and define us. Learn how Baron let go of his anger and resentment and how that became one of his life’s most impactful turning points.

• Baron describes his childhood with two words: freedom and painful. His parents were dedicated to natural ways of living and eating, with his father being an herbalist and running a yoga center. With the freedom, he didn’t have the same bonds as other families, which resulted in a deep sense of loneliness.
• He recalls being the kid that everyone picked on and because of the shame and embarrassment. He never told anyone what was happening. In the long run, the pain of being alone developed into resilience later on in life.
• Baron’s father was his first real teacher. He had a natural way of serving people and being around that bled into Baron’s perspective as he was growing up. Another big influence was a visiting yoga teacher from India who exposed Baron to athletically physical yoga for the first time. As he continued to study with him, he showed Baron the power of a mind/body practice.
• Baron’s childhood was stacked with a lot of trials and tribulations. Since he didn’t fit into the mainstream very well, he fell into a peer group that didn’t have the greatest habits. In his teenage years, Baron was failing school rapidly and getting into drug use.
• Baron continued on this path, got married and had three kids, but eventually he and his wife decided to separate, and that experience brought back the same sense of deep loneliness.
• Baron saw two options. He could put his suffering and pain on others or he could take responsibility for his life and who he wanted to be.
• Before his divorce, Baron was taught a different way of meditation that focused on observation of his thoughts. It was at that time with that focus, that Baron realized how much resentment and anger he had inside him, brewing just below the surface. Prior to hitting bottom, he didn’t see himself as an angry person at all.
• He realized that he had a lot of anger towards his father for not being present in his life when Baron was growing up. It was forgiving his father that lifted a sense of heaviness off his shoulders, and that moment of forgiveness became a major pivot point in his life.
• You can feel justified in your anger and resentment, but at some point you need to let go of the things that no longer serve you.
• Yoga was always a part of Baron’s life but it never directly impacted his experience of living. It was more of an intellectual pursuit until he learned to embody his experience with meditation. He began exploring other kinds of teachings like Christian and Judaic mysticism and Zen Buddhism.
• You can access the power of meditation without going through the 12 steps. You just have to be willing to sit with your shit. Meditation is about getting to the root of the problem, digging it out, and healing yourself.
• In life, we are either expanding or contracting. Resentment is a way of contracting and closing ourselves off. As the saying goes, “It’s like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”
• Around the age of 19, Baron decided to give up alcohol and drugs, and despite not being addicted to those substances anymore, the 12-step program still had applications in his life. After attending some meetings with a friend, he had the realization that he needed to forgive his parents as well as acknowledge his judgement and resentment, and let it go.
• Everything changes when you stop blaming, and start taking ownership.
• Baron is most grateful for his three healthy, bright, and intelligent sons as well as whatever higher power has been watching over him and allowing that to happen. He’s grateful for the experiences and hardships that he’s had that have strengthened him and made him better.
• Make your practice about staying out of your head, in whatever way that means for you. There is power in staying out of your head. Meditation is a unique way of doing that. It allows you to be present to the physical sensations of your body and the universe.
• If you find meditating difficult, just find a comfortable place and just sit. If you feel resistance, just put your attention on your breath and watch your thoughts. Just sit without expectation and see what happens.
• Your thoughts aren’t you.
• Separating yourself and becoming aware of your awareness gives your negative thoughts less power over you.
• Baron’s friend John Sullivan gets his comeback story shoutout. He’s the one guy who has always been there in the hardest of times.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Baronbaptiste.com

@baronbaptisteyoga on Instagram

@baronbaptiste on Twitter

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Sylvester McNutt III brings some hardwon and deep wisdom to the podcast. From a childhood where he faced death down the barrel of a gun held by the hands of his father, to nearly being expelled in high school and turning his behavior around and becoming a model student, to the simple yet powerful lesson he learned about love in a brief conversation with an elderly lady on the streets of LA.

• Sylvester describes his childhood with one simple word: colorful. His father was in the military and his family moved around quite a bit. As he got older, Sylvester was able to appreciate the duality of his early life where his father was a great leader but a poor teacher, and his mother was an excellent teacher but not the most loving mother. 
• Around the time his brother and sister were born, the entire family dynamic changed from healthy and happy to violent and unhealthy. He sensed the changes but didn’t really have the language to describe so he got into sports to cope.
• Sylvester actually stole his first journal from a 7/11. As difficult as his childhood became, it launched his deepest curiosity.
• One of his earliest memories of pain was when he faced death directly because of his father. That’s when he developed a deep mistrust of his parents.
• The consequences of the constant disruption and mistrust were anger issues. This led to Sylvester getting into a number of fights in school until a teacher directed that anger towards sports.
• Another important teacher in Sylvester’s life was his Assistant Principal in high school. Sylvester was always a difficult student and after being suspended for 42 days he essentially had to beg to stay in school. His Assistant Principal was willing to show him the motherly love Sylvester needed to turn things around and gave him a deal that allowed him to stay in school.
• In his final high school years, Sylvester had perfect attendance and straight A’s because he had something bigger than his trauma, which was his team.
• Slyvester’s coach required him to take up track in preparation of excelling at an even higher level, and despite hating running, that experience became the path that led Sylvester to yoga. In so many ways, sports saved him.
• Sylvester’s father passed away in 2014 which gave him an acute sense of his own mortality. He was in a position where he didn’t have the money to fly back for the funeral and was forced to ask for help, which was one of the greatest things that happened to him.
• Speaking at his father’s funeral and helping people grieve their loss was when he realized his destiny and decided to pursue speaking.
• His journey to becoming the speaker he is today has helped him heal all the trauma of his childhood. He no longer has hate in his heart and feels blessed to be able to heal other people with his words.
• Being present enough to ask why he drank alcohol was enough for him to want to be sober. Sylvester is now five months sober and is looking forward to his first birthday with a sober toast, many of which have also started reevaluating their relationship with alcohol.
• While he was in his trauma, Sylvester was in survival mode. He pushed hard in his corporate job and became one of top salespeople in the organization, but that turned sour after he became afraid of his own success.
• Sylvester recalls a story of his encounter with an elderly woman/potential angel who revealed the truth of love to him. When someone gives you love, you honor that. You don’t justify it. 
• Many people downplay the love that they receive because of shame. Shame makes you feel small and reject love.
• Today, Slyvester is most grateful for his little boy. Fatherhood has given Sylvester another way to see the world and a more complete perspective on life.
• Journaling is a powerful way to dismiss thoughts of not being worthy or not enough. You can ask yourself “do I need to hold this thought?”, many of the times you don’t.
• We teach people how to treat us. As human beings, we seek safety, but the trouble with a complete break in a relationship is that lack of opportunity for repair. The solution is boundaries.
• Boundaries are about developing a framework that allows us to interact with each other and a vessel for safety. If you’re struggling with boundaries, know that boundaries are where you end and the other person begins. They are about respect, not about one person always being right.
• If Sylvester could send a message to his younger self, it would be to “stop trying to do it all on your own.” Find a community. It’s okay for other people to know about your pain and failure. Strength is in the full story, not just the success. 
• Sylvester’s comeback shoutout goes to a number of friends and family members that have supported him and showed him the right path forward. 

Mentioned in this Episode:

Free Your Energy podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/free-your-energy/id1418852169

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On this week's episode of “Monday Motivation Raw,” Donny shares the importance of “Sharpening Your Saw” and how this is a daily practice that keeps your body healthy and strong, your mind alert and calm, and your spirit connected and inspired.

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Aubrey Marcus, the Founder of Onnit, talks about how some of the lowest points in his life and relationships revealed what he was struggling with internally and what he needed to let go to move forward. Aubrey shares some incredible wisdom and discusses why gratitude is the ultimate choice, why truth comes as a whisper and how you can calm your mind so you can hear it, and why fear is the cage we all construct for ourselves.

• One of the things that stands out to Aubrey about how he grew up was that his parents split up early on and he quickly had two step-parents as well. Every single one of his parents was exceptional at what they did in the world and this gave him a unique, well-rounded environment and a lot of pressure to perform.
• His earliest memories of pain involved his father and certain moments of intense rage. These experiences shaped how Aubrey communicates and the language he uses to be effective. Another challenge was the level of expectation that Aubrey had for himself growing up. He still struggles with his internal judge and tries to make it more of a coach instead of a critic.
• The internal judge is often a driver for high performance, but there’s a good chance that high performers would still achieve at that level without it. What could you have accomplished with a more positive mindset?
• Aubrey’s first real spiritual mentors outside of his parents include Don Howard, Ted Decker, Joe Rogan, and Bodie Miller. Aubrey also looks to some of the great mentors of the past to learn from as well.
• Adversity was more of a compounding series of events for Aubrey going into 2018. He had challenges in his relationship, health, business, as well as issues with his friends and it all culminated with a car accident. That six-month stretch of his life was the most challenging he’s ever experienced.
• In the depth of his struggle, Aubrey turned to prayer and letting go of his attachment to his business’s success and accepting the possibility of failure. All the issues in his life became pearls of insight that he could share with others, and the act of sharing was one of the things that helped the most.
• Aubrey’s podcast was initially inspired by being one of the early guests on Joe Rogan’s podcast.
• Aubrey’s clothes business developed out of what they were doing with Onnit, but the nature of a cut and sew business is very challenging. One lesson he learned along the way was that if you want to be successful, you have to back it with a lot of chips and really go all in.
• Every time that Aubrey has shared something vulnerable, the response has been overwhelmingly positive.
• As bad as the car accident was for Aubrey, it was the turning point for a lot of the issues that he was experiencing. His greatest challenge was in his polyamorous relationship where he felt overwhelmed by the pain of knowing his partner was a guy that he couldn’t deal with. 
• There was another moment in the business where the CFO of Aubrey’s company walked out in the middle of a meeting. As rough as that was, the relationships in his personal life were the hardest aspect to deal with.
• Struggling with the other guy his partner was going out with revealed to Aubrey that he entangled sex and love and needed to separate the two.
• Aubrey is grateful for his wife and his health. He feels like an unseen hand has been guiding his life and moving him forward.
• Gratitude is a choice, and it’s one of the most important choices you can make. It changes the way you see the world and it’s something that you have to practice every single day.
• The mind is noisy, and the truth often comes to us as a whisper. To hear that whisper you have to quiet what your body is screaming for, which is where meditation practice comes in.
• One of the easiest ways to hear those whispers is to get into the flow state in whatever way works most effectively for you. 
• People have categorized psychedelic medicines as a drug which is part of the stigma, but in the right context, they can create hybrid sobriety and free you from the habit of being yourself.
• That doesn’t mean that plant medicine can’t be abused if they are used like drugs, but when used properly they reveal your true self which isn’t addicted to anything.
• Addiction is an attempt to solve a problem according to Dr. Gabor Mate, and studies are showing how plant medicine can help solve some of those problems.
• Sobriety won’t necessarily solve your issue, but you usually need another practice to help you get to the root of the problem.
• Finding the right guide is crucial to using plant medicine correctly. Do your research and come with the right amount of respect before jumping in with both feet.
• If Aubrey could speak to his younger self, it would be to tell him to enjoy it more and know that it will all work out. But after five years of giving that answer, he’s not sure he has been taking that advice. He’s still trying to find the time to enjoy his life and do his best.
• Today is a good day to die is a philosophy of living in such a full way that each day is a good day to die. Living with a fullness of life and heart is a philosophy that Aubrey has embraced and an ideal that he tries to live up to.
• The thing that is holding us back is always ourselves. We live in prisons of our own creation, the trick is to let ourselves out. There are now more cages than ever for us to place ourselves in and there’s never been more fear in the world than there is today.
• Coincidentally, the people most afraid to die are the most afraid to live. Fear is the real virus. Stop fearing the conversations you know you should have, stop fearing putting down boundaries in relationships that are unhealthy, stop fearing to be yourself.
• Aubrey’s comeback story shoutout goes to his mom and her unconditional love. 

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For this Monday Motivation, Darren speaks on the inner nature of self-worth.

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Ryan Leier joins the podcast this week to talk about his struggle with depression after experiencing one of the greatest losses a parent can go through, and how yoga gave him the tools and the foundation for him to take life one step at a time. Find out how a yoga and meditation practice can help you create the space in your life to allow you to respond instead of simply reacting.

• Ryan grew up in a typical middle class family. One of his earliest memories of pain was around relationship troubles and breakups. These challenges led to anxiety and depression, and in his early 20’s, Ryan started to feel pain from simply being alive.
• Ryan’s first teachers were his father and mother. His dad was not just a father, but also his coach and mentor. His mother was his earliest guide on how to live right and treat other people well.
• Sports and athletics had been a part of Ryan’s life until the age of 27. Being a father while living in Iceland was a big struggle for Ryan, and he’s thankful in some ways that he injured his shoulder playing basketball because that put him on the path to yoga.
• Ryan’s selfishness got in the way of being a dad for the first couple of years of his daughter’s life, which is something that he does regret.
• When he decided to give up basketball to be a present father, that’s when the depression really set in because so much of his identity was tied into his sport.
• The greatest point of adversity in Ryan’s life was in losing his daughter five minutes after being born. He held everything together for the following 7 months until he, essentially, had a mental breakdown. It was a tough struggle to escape the depths of that depression and, in some ways, it still is.
• For months afterward Ryan didn’t want to be alive, and he may not have made it through without the support of his friends and family.
• Ryan studied the philosophy of yoga in high school and he often practiced meditation during that time, but it wasn’t until his shoulder injury and using yoga to rehab did Ryan get hooked on the practice.
• Yoga is a way to freedom. It has the tools to get the best out of yourself, no matter what your goals are. There’s some medicine in it for everyone. Yoga and the movement is the opportunity to get out of your own way.
• The emotion that kept coming up for Ryan was the feeling that he was never good enough. Without his meditation practice, he sometimes finds that voice creeping back into his life.
• For Ryan, his meditation practice gives him the space to choose his response instead of simply reacting. Meditation gives you the space for grace to come in.
• Ultimately, meditation is the practice of awareness, which is the basis for the ability to choose.
• Avoid riding the uncontrollable rollercoaster of praise and dislike from other people.
• Ryan is most grateful for the love and companionship of his friends and family. In his darkest days, those were the people that helped him see the light.
• Sometimes, our pain is caused by the story we tell ourselves that we’re all alone, but that’s rarely the case. Ryan thought that it was a weakness to ask for help for most of his life, but now he understands that no one is perfect and being humble is a sign of strength, not failure.
• If Ryan could give some advice to his younger self, it would be to be a student and keep learning. Once you think you’ve got everything figured out, that’s when you get squashed like a bug. To ask for guidance and pay attention to his elders.
• You will never have every aspect of your life under complete control and that’s okay.
• All things must pass, and you have some say in how long it lasts and how deep it goes. Find something that gives you inspiration and makes you feel light. There are tools available to help you get through the darkness.
• During the pandemic, Ryan’s daily practice of yoga and prayers has been his lifeline and helped him stay out of the depths of depression and anxiety.
• When Ryan was depressed, every little step was a challenge. One part of the practice is to simply wake up and make your bed, and that makes taking the next step a little bit easier.
• The quality of your performance is determined by the quality of your practice.
• Ryan’s comeback story shout out goes to his daughter Kaia and his ex-wife Kaitlin.

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