Commit One

Darn you Fox Kids!!! Will, Mike, and Sam discover what happens when an American company takes three short films from a popular Japanese property in both countries, edits them down and smashes them together, and throws it on the screen to both joy and confusion in the 2000 film Digimon: The Movie. While Will and Sam do still enjoy the film from their childhoods (Mike not so much), they still look at both the good parts and the many, many bad parts with so many plot holes by the third act it is a wonder how a coherent story was made at all. Despite a good source (even the American-dubbed version) from the anime series, the film still fails to be a good starting point for anyone remotely interested in the Digimon franchise. However, the Commit One crew is here to de-digivolve it all down and even discuss the anime itself (with Mike being dragged along) to try and make sense of this mash-up gone wrong.

What happens when you have a movie that is set and filmed in Texas? Well you get three Texans like Will, Mike, and Sam (mostly Will and Mike) want to talk more about their hometowns and Texas in general than talk about this interesting, but still confusing mess that is 2017's Time Trap. Starring the older brother of Luke and Owen Wilson, the film makes and attempt at a decent time travel story and has some actual good decisions by the characters, but lacks any real explanations or major action sequences to hold its promising start to its strange end. It is definitely something that has to be heard to be believed and the Commit One crew at least do not have to make a jump to the left to discuss this.

What do you get when you try to make a knockoff film of an already bad movie? You get the 2012 film American Warships! The Asylum is back again as Will, Mike, and Sam look at their first mockbuster film that takes the already ridiculous premise of Battleship (really, HOW do you make a movie based on a board game???) and adds more ridiculousness and awful CGI to make a confusing mess of a film that even Apollo Creed himself (Carl Weathers) couldn't save this waste of money, film, and time. "Thunder" strikes in more ways than one in this disaster (just don't remind Will) as the Commit One crew takes on this poor excuse for a sci-fi film.

This is so dumb, da dumb, da da da da da dumb. Will, Mike, and Sam discover why remakes rarely ever work out well as they take a look at the hot garbage mess that is the 2006 film The Pink Panther. Starring Steve Martin as Inspector Jacques Clouseau (taking over the role made famous by the late Peter Sellers in the original 1963 classic and its sequels), the film shows that sacrificing a good and coherent plot in favor of jokes and gags one after the other never works out well in this really lifeless excuse for a film. It is a film so bad Mike admits that he could not even finish it in favor of wanting to inflict bodily harm on Will (which Sam is okay with as that would make the podcast all hers...). Stupid, idiotic, and not even fit for children, the Commit One crew is ready to sacrifice what little sanity they have to break down this "gem" of a film.

It happened. It finally actually happened. The Asylum makes its first appearance on the show as Will, Mike, and Sam brave the arctic setting both in their home state of Texas and in the 2016 film Ice Sharks. Starring no one of note (kind of surprising for the Asylum to not have one recognizable name!), the film is about what you would expect from an Asylum film with very little plot, terrible CGI effects, and some of the worst and boring dialogue you will ever hear. However, there is still fun to be had at Mike's expense with this both being an Asylum film and a shark film (lightsaber chainsaw anyone?). Listen as the Commit One crew breaks down this "award winner" and Mike tries not to blow his top in the show's first review of an Asylum film.

Even Netflix isn't safe from the cycle of bad! Will, Mike, and Sam take on their first Netflix original film that attempts to do something interesting with a time loop plot, but drastically falls short in pacing, characters, and an attempt at an interesting ending in the 2016 film ARQ. Starring Robbie Amell (not to be confused with his cousin Stephen Amell of Arrow fame), the film makes use of a limited budget but does not do much to add anything interesting to the genre and leaves the audience with more questions than answers, which by the end there is a lack of interest in getting answers anyway. So, join the Commit One crew as they take on this poor attempt at an interesting plot as even Netflix isn't safe from the cycle of bad! Hey.....wait a minute.......

Mindless action, questionable character choices, little buildup for story....did Michael Bay direct this one? Will, Mike, and Sam can easily answer that question twice over because one, it was Paul W.S. Anderson and two, this actually has some plot as they look at the 2002 film Resident Evil starring Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriguez, and others in a very, VERY, loose adaptation of the video game series (which the plot may explain why the games went in the direction that they did....) and the start of a film franchise that has not one single positive Rotten Tomatoes rating. With every other film qualifying and a remake film coming out this year, could this be the start of the Commit One crew covering ALL of the films? Time will tell, but for now they have to get through this mindless mess (and we don't just mean the zombies).

The pain just keeps easing on down the road..... Will, Mike, and Sam take plenty of aspirin in preparation of taking on the second half of the 1978 musical film, The Wiz. Picking up as Dorothy and her friends enter the Emerald City, the Commit One crew continues to question the inept decisions of the cast, the odd choices in both dance numbers and set pieces, and are left dumbstruck at how the major villain is finally brought up....only to be in this overlong fiasco for around 10-15 minutes (but does lead to an interesting moment of recognition for both Will and Sam). Join the Commit One crew as they finally complete this film of many poor decisions with the second part of this special two-part review. 

This is it. They've finally done it. A movie so mind-numbing and headache-inducing that Will, Mike and Sam can't even finish in one sitting! It's the 1978 cult classic film that is equally beloved by many and looked at in horror by others: The Wiz. In the first of this special two-part dive into this ill-advised jump from successful Broadway play to the silver screen, the Commit One crew watches as Diana Ross as Dorothy, Michael Jackson as the Scarecrow, Nipsey Russell as the Tin Man and Ted Ross as the Cowardly Lion take on a Joel Schumacher-written script (which explains a few things) with bad acting, bad dancing, and a few decent songs. It is a film that lives up to its reputation and this yellow brick road is too big for just one episode. 

This one should have just hibernated for the winter as Will, Mike, and Sam look at yet another in a very, very long line of creature features in the 2011 film Snow Beast. Starring John Schneider (better known from The Dukes of Hazzard and Smallville television series) as a wildlife researcher who travels with a team to a Canadian ski lodge....oh let's face it this film is so by-the-numbers and basic that even the snow beast itself looks like a gorilla costume spray-painted white. While not the worst thing the Commit One crew has reviewed so far, this film still brings out a "meh" reaction even with the poor acting and poor decisions by the characters. So bundle up tight and hope that your brain doesn't freeze from boredom with this film.