Commit One

Disclaimer: The film featured in this episode features an attack on the United States Capitol as part of the main plot of the film. This episode was recorded in advance before the recent ill-advised actions from protesters on the Capitol building. After discussing the issue among ourselves, we decided to move ahead and post the episode as scheduled and advertised. We do completely understand if you wish to not listen to our discussion of this film and our thoughts and prayers go out to everyone that has been affected by this act of senseless violence.  

BOOM! POW! EXPLOSION! ACTION! ACTION! ACTION! This just about sums up the main part of the 2002 film, xXx: State of the Union. Will, Mike, and Sam discover why original star Vin Diesel did not want to return in this hot mess of an action film starring Ice Cube as new character Darius Stone. Featuring a ridiculous plot and even more ridiculous action sequences, this film shows why sometimes it may be better to leave the original film as a single film and not try to start a franchise (even though there is a sequel after this one that is actually a bit of an improvement!). However, the Commit One crew is here to break it all down despite the lack of a focused story.

If in space no one can hear you scream, then this film proves that in the ocean no one can hear you snore. Will, Mike, and Sam kick off 2021 with a deep sea sci-fi film that was actually one of six within a one year time frame and still is not very good itself with the 1989 film DeepStar Six, Full of characters with little to no development (and actors whom the audience will barely hear from after this with a few exceptions), a painfully slow build-up, and a plot that makes absolutely zero sense when one really thinks about it. The Commit One crew breaks down this undersea adventure where even the creator of Friday the 13th couldn't even save from drowning.

Merry Christmas Movie Haters! You asked for it and you got it as Will, Mike, and Sam take a look at your film choice as they wrap up Christmas month with the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger "classic," Jingle All the Way. Also starring Sinbad as a competing father and Jake Lloyd (who would go on to play Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace) as the son, the film follows what happens when filmmakers try to combine slapstick comedy with social commentary/satire and end up not only jumping the shark but the entire ocean (and even a Sharknado!) with the entire premise while still being fondly remembered during the holiday season despite its many flaws. Join the Commit One crew as they break down this film in this special Christmas Day edition of the Commit One Movie Podcast.

What happens when you make a successful, fondly remembered Christmas film, then make a sequel that is okay but not great, but you don't just quit while you're ahead? You get the 2006 Disney film The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause. Will, Mike, and Sam wonder this exact question and many others as they watch Tim Allen and Martin Short nearly destroy their careers with a film that was made to just be a cash-in, but made nearly $70 million less than the second film despite having a much lower budget. A poor script, poor acting at points, and a pace that would make a snail seem speedy all make up this poorly conceived sequel and serves as a flat end to a promising trilogy. It's the Commit One crew's first Disney film, but why did it have to be this one?

How many brain cells can die in just one Christmas movie? Will, Mike, and Sam find out the hard way as they look at a very thin-veiled attempt at a Christmas "comedy" with the 1996 film Santa With Muscles. Starring Hulk Hogan as a man who is hit in the head and is made to believe he is Santa Claus and....well, that should already tell you enough on how bad this one is! Poor acting, a less than paper-thin plot, and more cringe-worthy scenes to shake a candy cane at, this one should have just been left under the tree and not released at all (even for just the two weeks it was in theaters!). So join the Commit One crew as they shut off their brains and enjoy the stupid with this Christmas "classic."

Have a holly....jolly....funny...cringy....and whatever-else-this-is Christmas as Will, Mike, and Sam kick off Christmas month with an interesting choice for their first Christmas-themed film in the 2005 horror-comedy Santa's Slay starring professional wrestler Bill Goldberg as an alternative version of Santa Claus who is depicted as the son of the devil and forced to be nice for 1000 years after losing a glorified curling match to an angel. Yes, someone actually wrote this script! Full of corny dialogue, slightly over-the-top kills, and actors that seemed to be having WAY too much fun, Santa's Slay does prove that, while still being a bad movie, can provide a bit of entertainment in other ways but really should have just been left under the Christmas tree. However, the Commit One crew is here to dash through the cinematic snow on this one and break down these holiday hijinks. 

Note: In this special edition we go a little bit deeper with our discussion seeing as we are honoring 35 years of the Mario game franchise. If you wish to skip this discussion and go into our discussion of the film, we break off to the film beginning at 34:40.

There are not enough Power Stars in the Mushroom Kingdom that can save this disaster! Will, Mike, and Sam both honor one of the greatest video game franchises of all time while also looking at the ill-advised attempt to bring it to the big screen in the 1993 film Super Mario Bros. In this special edition of the Commit One Movie Podcast, the crew takes some time to honor 35 years of the Super Mario franchise and what the games have meant to them before taking the film adaptation down a few more pegs (as if it needed any help!) which features actors who have gone on to bash their own film at every chance they can get. While some may still like the film, it still holds up as the starting point for bad video game adaptations as the world knows it, which in turn does make sure that the Commit One Crew has a LOT to cover.

We'll just save our quarters on this one thank you very much! Will, Mike, and Sam take on their first video game movie and reinforce why trying to adapt a video game for the big screen is rarely ever a good idea in 1994's Double Dragon. Featuring Robert Patrick as the villain and Alyssa Milano in the female lead as Marian, the film takes the relatively simple premise of the game it is based off of, throws it out of the window, and substitutes it for a "family-friendly" tone and enough 90s cheesiness to attract mice. Over the top (and not in a good way), but the Commit One crew is here to charge through it but still wishing the studio would have said "game over" on this one.

Alaska just can't seem to catch a break. Will, Mike, and Sam head back North this time for a creature feature where the Midnight Sun just makes things worse than they already are in actually letting the bad CGI stand out on the titular dragon in the 2009 Syfy TV film Wyvern. However, even with a completely made-up story about the monster's origins, the film proves to be an actual decent film (and not to mention a MAJOR improvement over Skeleton Man) with a relatively grounded story, likable characters, the filmmakers actually giving the audience what they may want at times, and even General Hammond himself from Stargate SG-1 (the late Don S. Davis)! Although it still has its flaws, Wyvern still provides enough for the Commit One crew to break down and not resort to have to call the people from Game of Thrones. 

This episode is dedicated to the memory of Sir Sean Connery and Will's dad, Curtis.  

Wow, this one was really shaken instead of stirred. Will, Mike, and Sam discuss a film that is so poorly made and had such a troubled production that it made the star quit the film-making industry altogether (with the exception of two voice-over roles in 2012) with 2003's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Starring Sean Connery in his final live-action role, the film follows a promising premise based on the graphic novel of the same name with famous Victorian-era literary characters teaming up in an alternate history tale set in 1899, but fails at many levels with a confusing plot, questionable motivations, and plenty of action scenes for the sake of action scenes. When even the star does not understand the script, there tends to be problems (and not to mention plenty of studio-meddling) and the Commit One crew is here to break it all down.