Common Sense with Burt Franklap

The newly-appointed leader of the Rural Family Alliance, Prolapse Angina, joins Burt to talk traditional values, and standing up in Parliament for the views of the people who got him there; specifically, the ones paying for his mistress's house.

After his nightmarish week imprisoned against his will, Burt confronts Barfly Adhesive, the Minister for Fairness, about the brutal, non-dairy alternative injustice he suffered.

Back in the studio after being incarcerated by the Greenie Gestapo, Burt's ready to reveal the horrible truth about this country's illegal prison nightmares (no, not THOSE ones -- this is one for rich white men!).

A secret message from Burt, who's being held in the Clementine Ford Political Correctness Detention Centre in a case that mirrors Nelson Mandela's imprisonment, if Nelson Mandela were locked up for saying "Christmas".

Leader of the Chinless Young Liberals, Cumquat Silverspoon, joins us in the studio to tell the story of how he came out as conservative to his friends and loved ones, at the risk of mild criticism.

The town of Dunny Lever is in shock after a woman and her children were found dead. We'll do some incredible grammatical gymnastics to keep referring to them in the passive tense, so we don't have to say that anyone in particular killed them, especially not the Good Bloke Husband and Father Who Just Snapped in a Totally Reasonable Way.

Senator Bradlam Cluster joins us in the studio to explain why guns are tools, and why gun control simply won't work so it isn't worth even trying.

Burt takes a bold stand against the new superhero, Black Marvel, for promoting an anti-white agenda (by which he means the movie isn't purely and entirely about white people).

Burt's not pulling any punches this week, taking aim at welfare cheats who rely on a rigged system to live under the poverty line rather than work and pay taxes and complain about dole bludgers like everyone else.

The Rad Kids Gang are a menace threatening the quiet lives of this city's hard-working white people, and I've believed that ever since I first heard about them this morning.