Confusionism

Happy Halloween! Kerry discusses the origin of the holiday’s name and the best Halloween books, movies, and South Park Halloween specials! Barry and Bulitzer also spread Halloween cheer as we discuss various forms of antics, gory decorations, and a jack-o’-lantern on the f**king moon! Did the Man on the Moon wink at ya? Recorded 10/29/20.

Patrick Means and Matt Skeen join the podcast to get to the bottom of QAnon, whether we really are living in a simulation, Project A119 (which doesn’t involve steak sauce), and artificial moons in China. We also do some fact-checking on sake, an obscure pizza place in Florida, and catch George Bush in mid-dodge! Imagine Epcot but in a Kroger’s, but the Kroger’s is the size of two Walmarts put together. Recorded 10/21/20.

Kerry and Matt cross over once more to discuss the recent jet pack sightings in Los Angeles, the worst ever trip to Walmart, why Kerry was wrong about Family Guy, how Woody Harrelson and Mike Pence know each other, and an intriguing new map in Animal Crossing! Recorded 10/15/20. 

Kerry learns how not to flip off a judge and discusses swearing parrots in the UK (hey, you fat t**t!), Sunny D and why 1.5 liters a day is too much, and Willie Nelson atop the White House with Jimmy Carter’s son and “a big fat Austin torpedo.” Also: NBA mascot Slamson the Lion gets slammed and South Park is back! Recorded 10/15/20.

Kerry discusses the latest news from Taco Hell, South Park’s new Pandemic Special, the Vallandigham tragedy of 1871, the role water pistols played in the Revolutionary War, and an underrated masterpiece from The Beatles! Detective Johnny Katz also provides inspiration for a f**ked view on cannibalism. Screwed on pretty tight, there. Recorded 9/25/20.

Today we’re watching Netflix’s original film Girlfriend’s Day! Will Bob Odenkirk and his nipples be enough to save this film? Listen to Episode 70 and find out! Recorded 9/10/20.

Today we find out why your consciousness shouldn’t be uploaded to the cloud and why social security numbers don’t start with 666! Also, jump aboard the Sloop John B as we discuss toy guns on Zoom, I’m Thinking of Ending Things, and trains going f**king backwards! Recorded 9/8/20.

It’s almost November, so Kerry and Nate discuss National Novel Writing Month! We get to the bottom of the rules of the project and The War of Art. Also, find out what the f**k a pantser is! Recorded 9/8/20.

Today on Tear Factor, gather round for f**ked story time! Patrick Means and Matt Skeen (aka Slow Brogan) join the podcast to discuss the dark alleys of downtown Baltimore after Metallica have been in town, a special visit to Denny’s, the infamous bologna binge of Kroger’s, missing eyebrows on Picture Day, “devil’s chocolate,” and how poor Mr. Rogers expired. Also: Matt brings us up to speed on his brand new YouTube channel, ChewDawgz! Safety, always off. Recorded 9/3/20. 

It’s a one-way road! Patrick (aka IndestructibleP) joins a super-sized podcast to discuss a badass concert in 2017, having Coke Zero for dinner, George Carlin and Dave Chappelle, the most diabolical haters this side of the Mississippi, fudged Coronavirus data, the revival of the G4 network, and Patrick’s candidate for worst movie of all time! Damn, this thing’s big enough to pay tuition! Recorded 8/8/20.