“I can’t hear you!! I can’t hear you!!”

You thought his misbehavior was frustrating, but when your child covers his ears and yells “I can’t hear you!” it sends your blood pressure through the roof!

We received this question from a parent, frustrated by this very situation:“How would you handle a child who puts his hands over his ears because he doesn’t want to hear when you are addressing his misbehavior or giving instructions?”

Sound familiar? Take a deep breath and 4 minutes to listen to what Jim and Lynne have to say about kids who refuse to listen by putting their hands over their ears.

What you’ll learn:

What his actions are communicating. I don’t feel safe right now. It’s too hard for me to listen. I’m ashamed of what I did.

How you can safely and lovingly talk to your child when he doesn’t want to hear you:

Start with empathy, instead of focusing on the correction. “Wow, it’s really hard isn’t it? You kinda had a rough time with your brother. Are you feeling sad about that?”

Engage his brain, by giving him some power in the situation. “Do you want to take some time to calm down before we talk?” “Do you want to talk first?” “Do you want me to sit down when we talk?”

If his hands still don’t move, talk to the hands. :-) “What are your hands telling me right now?”

When kids feel safe and loved, and we listen to what’s important to them, they are much more inclined to listen to us.

We love partnering with you and pray this recording was an encouragement in your parenting!

Frustrated by constant discipline challenges? Take 15 minutes to read our free ebook 4 Messages All Children Long to Hear: A Discipline That Connects Overview.

In this Q & A, Jim and Lynne take 4 minutes to respond to a question from a mom and dad regarding their son’s hurtful words to his siblings.

“Our son constantly criticizes and teases our daughters - and anyone else that he sees as weaker than himself. It hurts them. While we want to lovingly correct our son, we also want to show our daughters that we are for them and want to protect them. We find it hard to do both. What should we do?”

By addressing both sides of the situation (the culprit and the casualties of the criticism) Jim and Lynne empower siblings to move from the resentment of ridicule to the joy of relationship.

LISTEN HERE

What you’ll learn in this audio:

Discover the root of your son’s negativity. Refrain from criticizing your son. Instead, talk through the feelings that are driving him to criticize others. Help him to understand the natural impacts of his hurtful words.

Find ways to build connection between the kids by getting them on the same team. Some ideas might include doing a service project, cooking a favorite meal, etc. Then acknowledge (with thoughtful, specific observations and affirmation) that you noticed how well they worked together.

Strengthen the child who has been picked on. Come alongside and encourage her to advocate for herself. Give her words to say and then roleplay the interaction. Teach her to discern the truth from trash, and how not to give untrue things power.

What-EVER! (with an eye roll)

You’ve seen it a hundred, maybe even a thousand times. Your child doesn’t like what you’ve said and responds with a head tilt, and eye roll, and the grand pronouncement, “What-EVER!!!!”

What do you do when this happens? The tendency is to shut it down, NOW!  But your angry response communicates to your child that she is in control of your emotions. This gives her the “powerjolt” she needs to pull this behavior out again the next time she’s frustrated with you.

In this Q & A, Jim and Lynne take 7 minutes to respond to this question from a mom who is tired of her 8-year-old daughter’s sass. You’ll hear some quick pointers for how to respond with grace while keeping a child accountable for better behavior.

LISTEN HERE

As you respond, you’ll learn to communicate:

You’re SAFE with me: Stay calm as you take a deep breath. Your kids are not your report card.

You are LOVED even if you sass: Express empathy. “This is really hard, isn’t it? If it’s hard for me, I’m sure it’s hard for you.”

You are CAPABLE: Ask a question. “You don’t like how this is going. What would be a better way?”

We hope as you listen to this audio you are encouraged in your parenting!  As you learn to follow these three steps to decrease the “sass-level” in your house, take joy in the small victories.  We are here to help you in any way we can as you seek to grow your connected family.

Jeremy Lee, from D6 Family Podcast, interviews the co-founders of Connected Families, Jim & Lynne Jackson. During this 20 minute podcast, Jim and Lynne share the Connected Families parenting framework, which focuses on building a strong parent-child relationship.

If you want to be encouraged and challenged in your parenting journey, listen in! We are SO EXCITED to partner with you as you lead your family with grace.

LISTEN HERE

In this interview Jim & Lynne share bonus parenting nuggets from their popular resources, Discipline that Connects With Your Child’s Heart, Sibling Conflict online course, and Challenging Children.

Highlights of what you’ll learn:

[0.00] Intro

[1:34] Foundation

Create a foundation that grounds your child’s identity and purpose in Christ.

[2:20] Connect  

Communicate love to your child so that they can’t miss it. “I LOVE you and ENJOY you!”

[3:20] Coach

Don’t wait for misbehaviors to build your child’s character; instead, create opportunities to help them gain wisdom and purpose.

Follow Jesus’ example of asking thoughtful questions.

[5:49] Correct

Change your focus from punishment to gentle reconciliation.

Effective discipline puts the responsibility on the child to make right what they did wrong.

[8:15] Discipline that Connects

The goal of discipline is not to manage your child’s behavior, but to shape their belief about themselves. Their behavior ultimately flows out of their identity. “I’m a problem” vs “I’m the solution”.

[10:17] Sibling Conflict / Peace Process

Helping kids to value reconciliation and the joy of their sibling relationship.

Want to dig deeper into sibling relationships? Check out our Sibling Conflict Online Course

[15:28] Challenging Children

Giving parents compassion and coping mechanisms to help their sensitive child.

On Tuesday evening, September 20, Lynne spoke to a packed house at the Discipline That Connects book launch party about the most important messages that parents convey to their children in discipline.  This four-level framework is the foundation of intentional, grace-filled parenting. Follow the link below to get a 10 minute audio clip of the message that Lynne shared with the crowd that evening.  Listen to learn about building identity and why it is so biblical, and so crucial to character development in your child.

What you'll learn: 

how Jesus lived his own life out of his identity

how Jesus built identity in his disciples

how we can build the same identity in our kids

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Jim and Lynne sat down with the Positive Parenting podcast to share powerful strategies for disciplining in a way that actually connects with kids - filling your parenting with peace and confidence.